Turn Around

Well my first blog today was about how I was feeling out of it. My day ran it's course and I feel much, much better. I'm not sure why I felt a bit lost before. usually when I feel that way I get back on track by simply acknowledging the fact that I have no reason to be feeling that way. That theory worked today. After blogging about not feeling right my day turned around.

I went over to Ty's to watch the game. I fell asleep for a good part of the game which I owe him an apology for. Him being my best friend he didn't disturb me, he let my sleep run it's course and when I woke up he started poking me with his foot calling me sleepyhead or some other stupid name.

After that I came home and napped again for fifteen minutes. (Prior to my dream blog.)

I ate dinner with the family like I do most nights and got my Economics done and my college level paper done. While working on my homework I got a text saying that two of my friends were going to Starbucks and I was forced to go with them. Maybe that is a bit sensationalized, I wanted to go more than anything.

At Starbucks I paid, which I felt was my duty, and we sat around and drank our caffeinated beverages. Actually they drank iced coffee or some shit and I drank a chocolate chip frappachino. Classic me not liking coffee. We talked about relationships, mostly of the failed sorts and about Mara's horrible luck with dogs. when I say horrible luck I mean her overwhelming ability to kill any dog that spends too much time around her. Except Dusty, he lived a long live that ended in old age. (What a fitting name right? Dusty, he got old and turned to dust? Clever I think.) I enjoyed the time spent together.

I feel like I have locked up the role of gay best friend. Whether with Mara and Kendall or Anna and Jordan I feel like a smaller version of Damian from Mean Girls, except I would like to establish the fact that I am in no way a homosexual.

I accept yet renounce the role of gay best friend. I like the fashionable stereotype associated with it but hate that I always seem to get stuck in the friend zone. While I despise the friend zone I would never wish to not be friends with the girls I am friends with. I love them all to death and will take any role I have to to stay in their lives.

The struggle I find myself in is that i am always reading blogs about finding a dream guy and getting into a fairy tale relationship. I want the fairy tale relationship, but question if it's at all a fairy tale. Disney and modern media has portrayed these loving relationships as fantasy. I see them as anything but that. I want a girl I can call mine who is my one and only. I want to do anything for her and be the reason she smiles. I'll be your prince charming, but I am not climbing on a damn horse. That shit just won't happen. But I will open the door for you, compliment you,  listen to your "funny stories", and just be your best friend. I just need a chance.

For now I'll walk Friendship Road, and I acknowledge the fact that I can still do all those things for my friends. I guess I'm just a sucker for sappy love stories. Sue me.

                                 NP: