But I worry about him sometimes.
He consults me daily on his life and I have no problem with it. I like that he does. Truly. It takes its toll on my emotional and mental state, sure, but I wouldn't want him to go to anyone else.
Today he told me something totally irrational though. He told me that a year from now I'd be in New York, him in Cincinnati and that I'd be searching for a new best friend to replace him. That really, really stung. He honestly couldn't be farther from the truth. Sure, I'll be in New York and he in Cinci, but I'll be damned if i would ever try and replace him.
It just wouldn't be possible.
The kid has so much in common with me. We make the same horribly crude jokes, he usually taking it a step farther than I. But nonetheless we're so damn similar. (Somehow he came out with more soccer skill even though I was quite the stud back in our Argenta days.) Other than the horrible joking we do, we love the same things. We both love soccer and action movies. We both love history and even reading can make it onto our list of things we both like. (He won't tell you, but he has several books on his nightstand that he reads.)
Just looking at one of the stupid expressions he can make with his face can brighten my day. That or getting a text from him with some sort of Emoji sexual innuendo will do the trick.
But the thing is, I'm not the only one who cares about him. Our best friends all love him to death too. They all don't know how to deal with him like I do, but that's just because I'm with him everyday and I have taken on the role of psychiatrist. It's not just his friends though. He has a loving, loving family. Two younger brothers who I know look up to him in so many ways. And two parents who couldn't be more proud of their oldest son.
In summation Ty has so much going for him, yet he likes to dwell on the bad in his life.
He's had some experiences in the past he regrets, he says he wishes he could go back and fix them, but he can't. That just isn't going to happen. He's made mistakes with girls. But haven't we all? Yes, we have. And I can tell you from first hand experience Ty, life goes on. Some things in life just don't pan out the way we want them too.
You have a support staff greater than you know behind you my man. You have a family at home and a family with your friends.
I promise you I'm not going to go away and forget about you. Quite the opposite. I'm going to want a detailed analysis of your days. Because to be honest, today I looked at my phone before you texted me, saw that it had been two days since you last texted me, and I felt sad. I was sad that you hadn't texted me in two days. Sure I could text you first, but it's kinda your job to text me first beb.
There are days where I want to punch you, there are days I want to stab you right in the throat, and there are days I want to stomp on your balls. But all the other days; I want you right by my side buddy. Nobody else. You.
I hope this helps you out Ty. Because there is so much more to life than a girl, or girls in general. Like I told you earlier today. Life is made up of 100,000,000 little things, they're all little things. Some may feel bigger and some are bigger. But I can tell you that the one thing you're worried about... it's a little thing my man. Right now it doesn't seem that way, and right now you want to think that it's all your fault. But it isn't. God works in mysterious ways my friend. I know you said you're questioning if there is a God or not but trust me there is. He gave me you as a friend, and I have to believe that wasn't a coincidence. Maybe we need to get back down to St. Columbkille with Nacho and Z Graz? I think so.
Just open your eyes and your heart my man. Explore other opportunities. This is high school, we have less than a half a year left. Look into those who are looking into you. If someone shows you how bad they want to be a part of your life, then maybe they deserve a chance...just maybe. Give it a shot and see. Like our favorite teacher Mr. Marshall says. "You need to listen better." Please listen to me this once, if only once. I love you dude. I always will. You'll always be my best friend, and if something happened to you I don't know what I'd do with myself. Let your friends help you and let yourself be happy. You are a great person.
You have your flaws. You can be selfish from time to time, you can be irrational, you can be too emotional, you can say some shallow shit, but at the end of the day your biggest flaw is that you're keeping yourself from being happy. You have so much to be happy about, and you have a hell of a life ahead of you. You just need to open up, let the good in, and push the negative stuff away.
Now stop with all these negative tweets and sad text messages to me and Ashley. Be happy my man. For Andy Fleming's sake!! You're a great guy and everybody knows that. You don't owe anybody any apologies because you have said all you need. What it comes down to is you have an overwhelming need to love. And you love with a force that is greater than most people can even think of. Your passion is unrivaled. You just need to control it. You need to be humble and love accordingly. You know I'll always love you my man, always.
I hope this has saved you. Because I need you, and a hell of a lot of other people do too.
NP: How to Save a Life- The Fray
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