I believe this is my 95th post which means 100 is right around the corner and tonight at work I had a lot of ideas thrown my way. I will lay them out for you all right now.
The first of two major topics is being weird. I have come to acknowledge and accept that I am a strange individual. I don't think my find functions the same as other peoples. The things I think are better left as thoughts and not expressed publicly. Some are extremely irrational while others are probably immoral and even illegal. The mind is a wonderful thing because it allows you to think so many things and you never have to act on them unless you want to. Obviously acting on those irrational, illegal, immoral thoughts is not in my best interest so I refrain from doing so.
In psychology we are studying dreams and such and I find it interesting. I really could care less what goes into a dream or what the things in our dreams symbolize. I just like to dream. I love waking up from a nightmare and telling myself I wasn't scared all the while reassuring myself that I was okay and it wasn't real. At the same time we've all had those dreams where you wake up and are like, "Damn. That would've been nice if it was real." I always talk about trying to fulfill your dreams and I mean that. I think that dreams we fulfill are much different from the dreams we have at night. Dreams that I have at night are often better left as only a dream. But my dreams in the waking life will be reached. I want to be memorable. Keep the money and the fame. I just want my great grand kids to look back and say that I did something special. That I made a difference.
My second topic for the night is taking care of people who can't take care of themselves. I used to want to go into the FBI and track down serial killers and kidnappers. I still have that as a potential career, along with 100 others. There is just something about sticking up for someone else that intrigues me. Tonight at work Chelsea talked about how she had been stalked several months ago and how the same man followed her around 5 or 6 times. It makes me sick to my stomach thinking what could happen to Chelsea and what has happened to girls just like her. Not to sound weird but I hope I get put in a situation sometime in my life where I see someone in trouble and I get the chance to help them out. That's a scenario I've played out in my head a hundred times. I told myself that if anyone ever came into work with a knife and even got close to a waitress or hostess that would be the end of it. I would go nuts. I have never been in a fight in my life, but if someone wants to target an innocent girl, that's my breaking point. I think in that moment I would potentially kill the person. It's scary to say, but it's the truth.
A couple weeks ago on the way to work my dad told me not to try and be a hero if somebody came in to rob the restaurant. I agreed if and only if the person had a gun. A gun I can't do anything about, but a knife I think I could handle. The restaurant doesn't have the optimal weapons to fight back with, but a broken beer bottle or a knife of my own should work. After all they call me Clark Kent, so to stand by and watch something bad happen would be me letting down everyone I work with.
Aside from sticking up for any girl who needs it I would do anything in the world for my family. I don't take on the role of overprotective brother because I want Jenny to live her own life. I want her to make her own mistakes and learn from them. I can't keep her sheltered from the evils of this world so she has to go and fight those evils on her own. But when the time comes and she needs me, I'll be there. Whenever she finds herself in a tough situation I'll come running to bail her out. I'd fight for my sister and I wouldn't doubt that happening sometime in the future. Jen is a feisty little shit and she isn't afraid to tell a guy to go f himself. I just pray that no man is ever stupid enough to lay a finger on her because if he does and I don't kill him, my dad will. Jenny is a daddy's girl and my dad would do some serious damage to anyone who hurt my sister.
Hope you enjoyed that read.
NP: Miserable At Best- Mayday Parade
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