Tonight was the boy's hockey senior night and they went out and played great. I'm no hockey analyst and I'm sure my opinion of the game is much different then the players or coach's, but I thought they played inspired tonight. Everyone on the team was throwing their body around. Mo had a hat trick which was a nice addition, and I had a great time watching what is becoming my favorite sport to watch. When you're surrounded by good people, doing something you enjoy, you can feel untouchable. In a way I felt untouchable tonight. It's nights like tonight I will truly miss when I'm off at college.
The sick stomach mentioned before deals with something that hit me hard today. Walking down the hall after lunch I walked past Julie Hanczar. Julie was in a car accident last year, a horrific accident while on the way to take her SATs. She went over some black ice, lost control, and hit another car head on. She was in a coma for a while and since has had several surgeries on her legs. It's incredible the progress she has made, but today in the hall passing her in that wheelchair killed me. She seemed so frail and even scared in a way. I can't say I was a good friend of Julies because I wasn't, but anyone who knew Julie knew her as an outgoing, flamboyant girl. Seeing her relegated to that wheelchair broke my heart. It really and truly did.
In Mr. Denk's today we discussed existentialism and infinities. thinking about it there are an infinite number of things that went into Julie being in that crash that day. She had to wake up at the exact time she did, she had to eat breakfast in a certain amount of time, get dressed in a certain amount of time, get her car started, and drive on her way at a certain speed. All of these factors play into the horrific tragedy she was a part of. You can trace it back even farther if you want. It could be if she decided not to take the SATs that day, or maybe if her mom would have drove her. There really are an infinite number of things that play into any situation in life. Thinking about something this horrific happening makes me ask, "What if?" What if Julie had got up ten minutes later? What if she would've done this differently? What if the other driver left his house five minutes earlier? Five minutes later? Never went out that day? Of course hindsight is 20/20 and in reality there is nothing any of us can do about it now... I take that back. There are things we can do.
We can make sure we live our lives to the fullest, we can welcome Julie back with open arms, we can remember the good old days while creating new memories every day, and we can smile every morning because it's another day we have on Earth.
Life is a precious thing and sadly it can take something like what happened to Julie to remind us.
Another thing tonight that made me sick to my stomach was at the hockey game. It was senior night and one by one all the boys skated across the ice to see their parents...But one player lost him mom several months ago. I can't imagine what would be going through my head skating across to my dad knowing my mom was looking down on me. I can't say I agree with some decisions this player makes in his personal life because I don't. I'll admit that. But what happened to him wasn't fair. No kid should lose a parent this young. I feel for him on that note, but I doubt he wants my sympathy.
Thinking about losing a parent and Julie being so close to death really makes me think what Mr. Denk isn't insane for what he said about infinities. They're present everywhere and you can't measure the distance between two things or two people.
The other thing that Mr. Denk mentioned today was something he read in a book. The book basically mocks what I preach. It says that you shouldn't live your life to be remembered, because in a way being remembered is leaving your scar on the world. And that instead life is about how much you observe. In my almost 18 years of life I can say I have observed a lot, probably more than most. I am a wallflower of sorts and I might subscribe to the idea of not necessarily being remembered, but taking everything in. I still want to be remembered though...maybe people will remember me for how observant I was.(happy medium)
Also, it's funny how a text from someone can make you smile. I smiled tonight.
Final thought for tonight is what I'm wearing right now. I'm rocking jeans, a thermal undershirt with a Fordham tee over it, my glasses, and a velcro Hilton hat my grandpa gave me. I feel like such a blogger. This is truly what I want to do for the rest of my life. I want to dress like this, sit behind a laptop, and share my ideas with the world.
NP: 100 Years- Five For Fighting
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