Kills Me

This senior year is proving to be a great one for most of my friends and myself. However, a large portion of our graduating class's actions could be described as nothing less than a "shit show." I'm not sure if it's the fact that senior boys enjoy partying with freshman girls or if it's the fact that a large part of the grade enjoys living a totally careless life. Popping pills, selling weed, drinking weekly, and ruining relationships are just a few things that come to mind first when I think of my class.

One thing I'll never do here is lie to you. This blog is the honest to God truth and I will never sugarcoat anything just because teachers and parents alike read it. I just won't. The truth hurts, and the truth has to be told.

My sister is a freshman and has already been in several unpleasant situations in her high school career. Senior boys showing up at a friend of her's house with a case of beer is just one of those situations. It killed me because i have to accept the fact that she's growing up. She has her own life and I can't try to shield her from all the evils. Her mistakes will guide her and make her a stronger person in the end. With that being said I'll always protect my sister. If senior boys want to mock and make fun of her for not drinking when they show up at her friend's house I won't just stand there. What does someone get out of making fun of a freshman girl who doesn't want to drink? I'll never understand it, and if it happens again I know for a fact there will be repercussions. Unpleasant ones, be it.

But how can I blame these kids right? How can I blame kids who are so far gone on pills that they ruin relationships with their family? Wrong. Any time you pick up a pill to put in your mouth you're making a decision. Adderall everyday at school? I didn't know you suffered from ADHD? Oh wait, that's because you don't. You pop these pills to feel something you can't feel without them. I pity you all because you don't understand how to have fun without the help of drugs. I will never mess around with pills. They're addictive and they cause people to do stupid things. Whenever you need an adderall to get you through the day, you have a problem.

Pills aren't the only problem though. The drinking is out of control. Drinking every weekend? Drinking until you black out? What is the fun in that? I will never completely discourage drinking because drinking in moderation is extremely acceptable. But when you have to drink every weekend at somebody's house what are you going to do at college? How are you going to accomplish anything without any parental supervision? I realize some people's parents are more involved than others and I'm blessed to have a loving family, but when these kids are off on their own I don't see them surviving very long. Colleges don't care about you. If you pay your tuition and you do something that is deserving of an expulsion, you're gone.

It kills me seeing kids I used to know popping pills. They have lost all sense of self worth and will do anything for a cheap thrill. In the end that's all it is. You can pop a pill that will last a few hours and you can pop another when you come down from the first one, but you don't understand true happiness. Keep popping your pills and I'll keep doing me. We'll see who goes farther. I wish you the best of luck because you'll need it. When you've lost all sense of self and lost the person you once were, I'll still be me. And that's a promise.

NP: If It Means A Lot To You- ADTR