Procrastination

I waited way too long to do my illumination project. Luckily my momma is a trooper and helped me through it. I'm still unsure of how I'll do on it but I could care less. What matters is this blog.

I'm not sure where I want to take this post.

Earlier I was leaning towards a pessimist approach where I planned on complaining about troubles at home.

In the here and now I don't feel like doing that though. I feel that nobody wants to hear about those things. And even if they do, I'm not sure I'd open up to many people about them. If you care enough, feel free to ask.

I said earlier to someone that I had a lot on my mind and that I'd post two blogs. Until they reminded me about the second one I hadn't started this. Now here I am rambling about nothing...sorry about that.

The main thing weighing on me is the feeling that everything around me is superficial and unimportant. I feel that only my friends and family are worth anything. I have seemingly lost my will to work. I feel my mind slipping in every class. I can't focus for more than a couple minutes.

But there is always one thing on my mind. One thing buried deep down. A sickening thought; a thought of hope. Of a possibility. Of a chance. I'll keep that hope until the day comes where all hope is lost or that chance is finally mine. All I want is a day. All I need is a day. A day can be so much to ask for though...maybe too much to ask for. But as I said before, I'll keep dreaming.

And if I keep dreaming, I keep that hope alive, and I also keep you alive. And possibly, us alive.

Now sleep, and dream, and wonder. Because sleeping, dreaming, and wondering help keep us going.