it's tuesday, tomorrow is wednesday, and hopefully thursday follows

Today was an average day. Practice was kinda rough, we did a lot of running which isn't really my thing. Other then that the day was okay. I really dread parts of my day at school. Economics would be one of those periods. I love Mr. Quinn to death, but the class has run its course and I really could care less about fiscal policy at this point.

The period of the day I dread most has to be English class. I actually like The Catcher in the Rye, but other then that the class is horrible. Senior project stuff is dragging on and this "text explication" thing we have to do is gonna be a real bitch. Other then that I can't gripe. Ms. Fox has been really cool lately, except when she found that someone wrote "Tom loves penis" in the back of my journal...she had to explain that to her daughter, so thank you whoever did that. And just to clarify I do not love penis, I don't like it either. I very much like girls.

What sucks most about school is going in wanting to see something, wanting to see someone, thinking they'll make you happy...once you get there and the moment comes, your stomach drops. It's not a good butterflies type feeling, instead a depressing lonely feel. You can't help but wonder if they think of you from time to time. The time spent in their presence makes you uneasy because you have no clue what to think or feel, let alone what to say, if you should say anything at all. I'm afraid to crack a smile to certain people because I'm not sure how they'll interpret it. I'm very happy, and i could be happier. I'm not content. I'm yearning for more. I'd do anything for more, but anything isn't enough I guess. That's just the way it works. You do all you can and say all you can, you say it all over and over, but in the end it isn't enough to sway them.

My Type B personality won't allow me to let things like that go. I enjoy entertaining people and pleasing them. When I can't sway someone to my side I'm upset. Especially when I feel like I have so much to offer.

It's all good though. Tomorrow is my little sister's birthday! And the day after that, Thursday I believe, is my birthday. I'm hoping to make it to 13,000 views by then. 13 is my favorite number and 13,000 would be a true accomplishment. I guess we'll have to wait and see.

NP: I Will Follow You Into the Dark- Death Cab for Cutie