April 5th, 1994-April 5th, 2012

I realize the date makes it seem like someone is dying, but rest assured nobody is. The first date is the day I was born and the second date is my eighteenth birthday. In some ways my childhood is finally ending. I can now go to jail, buy tobacco, serve for my country, and vote in elections. (I only plan in partaking in one of those activities.) Today's blog is dedicated I my childhood. I'll recount as much of it as I care to remember and it'll be spilled out for you here on The Daily Doze. If you don't have a while to really read this I suggest you don't start because it's going to be a long ride.

I'll start with as far back as I can remember which would be my time at Kindercare. I didn't go to a West Allegheny kindergarten, instead to a daycare/kindergarten hybrid out in Moon. I remember Kindercare for three main things. First would be splitting my head open on the playground and gushing blood in the office. Second would be the fact that Brandon McCracken went there too and he was just as ADD as he is today. The third reason was Mr. Mike. Mr. Mike was the coolest teacher ever, to this day he was the only black teacher I ever had.

Kindercare brings up Shirley, a woman from Kennedy Township who used I watch my sister and I when mom was at work. I still remember Shirley's son's room had a waterbed and I always wanted to jump on it, but never had the guts to do it. Shirley still lives in the same house out in Kennedy, maybe I'll pay her a visit someday.

The next thing I remember is my first day of first grade. If I remember correctly both Nan and Mom were there to send me on my way.

I remember Nanny days which I've talked about before. Days full of adventure and marbles...still searching for someone to play marbles with.

I remember all my elementary school teachers. 1st Grade: Mrs. Shaltenbrand. 2nd Grade: Mrs. Groznik. 3rd Grade: Mr. Demario. 4th Grade: Mrs. Vestal. 5th Grade: Mrs. Mangan. Out of them Mr. D had to be my all time favorite. He was the greatest guy and his class was always enjoyable. That year I worked on my first novel. Ethan Schweinsberg, Bret Grady, and myself typed a mystery book the whole year, working on it everyday. I wish I had that to look at now. I remember it being pretty cool.

Other then that elementary school is kind of a blur. As for the home life I didn't really have any. I had very few friends. I hung out with my neighbor across the street who was three years older then me. His name is Brandon Redlinger and I think he goes to Penn State now. We used to play all kinds of games, but the one cemented in my mind is when we would take the little toy army men with parachutes and throw them off his deck as high as we could. One army man took off from his deck, cleared my house across the street on Forest Glen and traveled all the way down to the back of my backyard. At the time I thought it the most miraculous thing. Other then Brandon, most of my time at 51 Forest Glen was spent alone entertaining myself.

I moved to my current house in 4th grade and have lived here ever since. I love my new house and have memories here that will never fade. Memories of growing up, sneaking out, sneaking in, hiding, laughing, and loving. My house on Brickbarn Court is the house I'll always remember as my home.

Middle school years were great. I loved every minute of it. I loved taking art and IA and FCS. I only loved it because I love doing those things but hate being graded harshly on them. I'm not meant to be an artist or a woodworker and Mr. Mayo and Mrs. Harn understood that.

Middle school was easy, but it was fun. My favorite teachers from middle school include: Mrs. Damratoski, Mrs. Niccolai, Mr. Hanczar, Mr. McCracken, and Ms. Schumacher. I loved it over there, it was all so care free, but it was a very immature time and I like high school even more then middle school.

Middle school is when I became best friends with Mike OD and Josh Coury. Josh and I used to do everything together. Playing Call of Duty was one of our most played games. I was always a medic and he would go around and do all the killing, I, all the healing. I guess that epitomizes my pacifist ways. (In eighteen years of life I've never been in a fist fight or a serious altercation.)

In eighth grade my best friends were Chris Allison, Josh, OD, and Jared. Chris and I did everything together. I used to go to all of his inline games and he came on vacation with my family to Cancun. That was an awesome vacation. I remember Chris's nose got burnt to the point it had turned black and we had to peel off the black sunburn. It was kinda sweet. I also remember that I fell in love with kiwis that trip. Last memory of that trip has to be that Chris and I befriended two Mexican waiters whom we had every morning at breakfast. I'm excited for Chris to come with all of us on senior trip.

When ninth grade came around Josh and I became distant, OD was busy with football, and Chris and Jared were still there. I had a girlfriend for a year at that point and never spent enough time with my friends. Looking back I can say that for sure. I can also say for sure that in ninth grade I lost a part of my innocence and a part of my childhood. My dad going to rehab showed me how insane things can get at times. I grew up a lot in those three months, more so in three months then in the three years since. Rehab saved my dad though, so I'm blessed that he went.

10th and 11th grade were much of the same. Very much going through the motions but living nonetheless. I can't totally discredit those years because I had a lot of fun and made some real memories. High school sports dominated much of my life especially in the fall. Soccer and football killed me, physically and mentally.

Now in my senior year I can look back at everything I've been a part of and look forward to things yet to come. Senior year is very much a time of reflection and of preparation. All the preparation and reflection make it hard to live in the moment and live day by day. I'm doing enough living though, so I'll take a look around and tell you what I see.

Looking around I'm becoming more and more disgusted with these kids I call my peers. I'll call them peers but I won't call them most of them my equals. Many of them will never have an understanding of life that I feel I already have. Maybe that's self righteousness, maybe it's the truth.

I hate complaining, but the number of two faced hypocrites seems to be multiplying. The hypocrites are only outnumbered by the number of kids who thrive on attention.

I love my friends but some of them fit the aforementioned groups. It's okay though.

In eighteen years of life I've lived and I've learned, I've loved and I've lost, I've lied and I've been lied to, I've played and I've been played, I've worried and I've been blind to the truth, I've made friends and I've lost them, I've grown in all aspects of the word, but more then anything I've been me. I've been Thomas Patrick Forse. I've been him since April 5th, 1994 and I'll be him until I take my last breath.

In my eighteenth year of life I've become a lot more independent. I'm relying more on me and less on everyone else. I don't usually text people first. The thing I can't figure out is if it's because I have so much to say and no one who really wants to listen or if I don't have anything to say at all. I don't have much going on in life so asking me what's up is a silly question. I could talk to you about how I over analyze every little thing but I highly doubt you want to hear about that.

If you do want to hear about it though, feel free to text me.

I said at he beginning that childhood is ending. That's only partly true. I'll remain a kid at heart as long as I can. I have I realize that now that I'm eighteen I have responsibilities and I'm responsible for my own actions. I'm ready for what eighteen has to offer. I've always been ready. I've seen a lot already and I feel I have the skills needed to cope with whatever hits me.

Reflecting on what I've typed and what I have done my life has been very privileged. I've been through a lot, but I know for certain there are kids who've had it worse, much worse. I love my family and I'm thankful for everything they've done for me. I don't regret anything this far and plan on living the rest of my life just as regret free.

Just three hours now; it feels weird...can't believe the day is finally here. Well I'm off to enjoy my night. Love you guys, especially those of you I dream about. Love you more then I can tell you.