Happy Easter everybody. Last nights blog probably rubbed some of you the wrong way. It had undertones of depression and an overall shitty feel. I'm sorry for that.
I don't feel useless, I just feel...I don't know what the word is.
Who'd have thought with the extensive vocabulary my mom has instilled in me I wouldn't be able to find a word to suit my mood.
It isn't bad or good, happy or sad. It's a little off of indifferent but not interested. It's a mix of them all and I guess the way I'm feeling is just life. Life isn't an adjective anywhere except on this blog, so don't use it in a paper as one. But for the sake of this blog, I'm feeling quite life.
Life is the emotion where all your emotions seem to come together. I'm not mad about this confusion. It's just life.
Don't worry, you haven't hurt me, I've been hurting myself.
Hurting myself every time I sit there and think something might happen.
I'd like to say I'm done hurting myself, but I don't think I can stop. As much as I want to, the one thing I can never hide, my one true blemish, ironically, is my optimism.
At some point optimism crosses the line into blind hope and stupidity and I think I'm pretty damn close to crossing that line.
This blog probably makes it seem like I'm upset, just know that I'm not. Today is Easter Sunday and I'm going to spend it with the people I can always count on. My family.
I owe a big thank you to Erin and Mara for looking out for me.
I love you all as much as I did yesterday. I'll love you all the same tomorrow.
"I'll love you forever, I'll love you for always, as long as you're with me, my baby you'll be,"
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