Have you ever wanted something so bad it hurt? I'm not talking in the metaphorical sense. I'm talking about falling to your knees because it overwhelms you. I'm talking about wanting something so bad the thought of not having it actually breaks you down. Mentally, emotionally, and even physically it tears you down.
It's a strange feeling not having control of a situation.
You guys know me, I refuse to do anything that impairs my judgement or removes control from my hands. Yet somehow, I have no power here.
The only control I have is what I do. That's all you ever have I guess. You can't tell someone else how to feel or how to act. You can't make someone feel the way you want.
All you can do is take every possible measure to show them how you feel and how you want them to feel.
From there, it's out of your hands.
And that's when I get scared.
I want to have total control all the time and it doesn't work that way.
People oftentimes say that, "It'll all work out," and to that I say bullshit.
You can sit there and tell me that all day and I'll never believe you. Things won't just work themselves out. That isn't how it goes.
I refuse to just let go of something and wish at 11:11 or pray to God that it'll work out.
I'm not that kind of guy.
If I want something I'm going to do everything in my power to have it. Leave the "it'll all work out" to those that are weak enough to give up.
I recognize that sometimes it doesn't matter how bad you want something, you just can't have it. I'm giving it my all so that isn't the case this time around.
Giving up isn't an option.
Walking away isn't my style.
Letting go of something that makes me this happy just isn't going of happen.
NP: When I'm Gone- Eminem
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