unforgettable feelings

Today I looked back on my senior year and realized just how amazing a year it really was. I had more fun this past year than my first three combined. I felt feelings this year that I hadn't previously felt before. I'm going to see if I can relay some of those feelings for you all right now.

If I could characterize extreme excitement it would be in the form of hockey games. Sitting in the crowd waiting for Mo to come on the ice was the purest form of excitement I came to know. You always expected him to do the impossible or at the very least lay somebody out. That excitement was unparalleled.

Extreme happiness could be described in quite a few instances. Beating KO in overtime on senior night is one time that sticks out to me. Another would be beating Blackhawk in extra innings during baseball. Senior trip was a week where I was nothing but happy. Most nights when I don't come home until very late means that I was somewhere where I'm very happy. Happiness came from small things too though. 

One instance hit me where I was extremely proud. That would be during the senior recognition night where I listened as Frau Zanella read an excerpt from a blog I had written. I never felt that way before. It showed me that it wasn't only my immediate friends who felt the power of my writing, rather teachers and parents alike had felt it too. 

Indifference with a little sass would have to go to anytime last year when Ms. Fox would yell at me. Usually it was for talking to a fellow student, but I honestly could've given two shits less that she was yelling at me. I think from time to time I talked just to piss her off. 

Extreme anger would have to stem from any of the various times I was cheated on. Simple as that. 

The time I felt the most hopeless would have to be our last soccer game. There isn't a feeling in the world like watching the clock tick down from 10 seconds knowing that your senior season is over. Watching the clock strike zero and knowing that I'll never get another game with the kids I grew up with. I felt so lost. 

I can't say I felt extreme embarrassment this past year. 

I felt love though. I fell totally out of love and totally in love. I fell hard. I hit my head along the way. I loved in places I had no business loving.

I got close with people I never thought I would.

I defied a lot of expectations.

I proved people wrong and I was an exception to something no one else previously was. 

I changed, I evoked change, and I hope I inspired change.