The longest race I will ever run is a race that doesn't involve my feet or legs, instead it involves my mind. I think too much for my own good.
I think my main problem is I get an idea planted in my head, an idea of how something will be, and when reality comes in and my preconceived idea is in shambles I become a wreck.
I try to plan out too much in my life, and I leave little wiggle room for change. I think I can change this I just need to consciously try to do it.
What worries me is pushing people away when I get into these funks. I never want my mind to get in between me and someone I care about, but I feel like it does. I get all weird and don't give full, straightforward answers. That's because I'm afraid to spill my deepest thoughts. Those thoughts remain trapped inside me and feed the beast that is my mind.
These moods don't come often, but when they do they are vicious.
Here's the thing about my mind though. It can change so fast that in an instant I'm fine and I'm feeling optimistic...like right now. I've literally done a 360 degree turn. I feel good. I stepped back and realized life is a day by day thing. And that while today might not have lived up to the hype, tomorrow is a new day to live to the fullest.
Well I think I've successfully proved I have serious mental problems.
Goodnight
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