Hostess Stand

What a gay title for a blog post. But that's where I'm standing, at the hostess stand. Looking at 1000 Splendid Suns but not daring to actually read it. I'm too cool for that book....who am I kidding I'm a damn nerd.

I love word games like scrabble or boggle or hangman. I love reading and if you couldn't tell I love writing. I love books about serial killers and about true crime. I also like almost anything dealing with WWII. I'm a sucker for anything history related. When I get on Wikipedia I'll read pages upon pages of irrelevant info. Anything from sports figures to civil war battles.

The thing is I don't mind being a nerd. It's better than the alternative. Some dumb jock. (But hey I'm athletic too, or at least I claim to be.)

The life lesson for today is about forgiveness. I guess I'm a pretty forgiving person when I want to be. I've forgiven an ex best friend who really, really wronged me. I'm not even sure why I've forgiven him, but I have and I'm not bitter with him now. The hardest person I've had to forgive in my life would have to be my dad. He drank himself away from our family. He pissed away a six figure salary that allowed our family to live comfortably. He almost ruined my parents' marriage. He went away for three months at a crucial part of my life. But worse than any of that he put himself, and our family in danger every time he drank and drove. I would have never forgiven him if he killed himself driving drunk, I just couldn't have. Fortunately my dad is still alive today and I've learned so much from his mistakes.

The reason you have to forgive other people is so cliche. "Life's too short." it really is though. If you carry around a grudge for years then you're only hurting yourself. Taking the time to hate someone is more time consuming and exhausting than forgiving them. Forgiving someone for what they've done also gives you something else...it shows that you're the better person. And that's something nobody has to tell you, you can just feel it. You can say, "This is me showing I'm better than you. What you did to me was wrong, but I forgive you." Forgiveness only works of you learn from what's happened. You can never forgive and forget. You need to forgive, but always remember. Remembrance is another key to life. But the biggest kind of forgiveness is self forgiveness. Forgiving yourself can be the hardest thing in the world, but it needs to be done. You can't hate the person you are or the things you've done. Accept what you've done, and make a change. Forgiveness feels even better when you're forgiving yourself.

One of my favorite sayings is the one used for alcoholics anonymous.

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference."

That speaks volumes to me.

A little sappy song for you folks tonight.


NP: Love Story-T Swift