Carpool

Today I worked with Trav for the first time in a long time so we rode to work together. He drove of course. But you knew that because of the posts about drivers ed.

I like working with Trav because we have so many inside jokes and we both think the same way. We can make a joke out of any situation and some of the stuff you see working at a restaurant is just plain absurd. We sat in the front most of the night and watched Chelsea and Jen do all sorts of weird voices and even saw what is known as Chelsea's "Scary Eye."

Also like to put in a shout out to my amigos who visited me at work. Bob and Jordan, thank you guys! Even though Stonepepps was your back up plan to Changs with Cizzy it was still nice to see you guys.

Aside from work I had a pretty good night. Stayed glued to my iPhone for most of it, and kept in touch with the outside world.

In conversation tonight I brought up how this time last year I was considering joining the military after college. Maybe apply to the Naval Academy and the Air Force Academy. I remember how shocked my mom was. She was adamant about me not doing it. She said I had other things to offer this world and that we had enough people who really wanted to serve and who had no other real options.

I wanted to serve because my Dad did. And because I felt like it was a noble thing to do and something I could always be proud of. It would be something memorable that I would be able to tell my kids about one day. In my naive view of war I never even considered the fact that I could die. I guess I assumed it was like Call of Duty where I could just re-spawn and chase down the bad guys with a missile launcher.

In reality there are other ways of being noble.(Someone close to me brought that to my attention just a few minutes ago.) Maybe writing can be my way of achieving nobility.

My main goal in life is to be remembered. I don't want to be wealthy, or famous, I want to be remembered and revered. I want to mean something to those in my life, and I want people who don't even know me to think highly of me. I want to look back and see that I've made an impact on people's lives. A positive impact that is.

I like to think that this very blog is impacting lives. It may only be five or ten readers a night who actually read a post the whole way through, and it may be even fewer who truly understand it and feel something after reading it... But if a few people a night really get what I'm saying, then all of this is worth it.

I hope that you are still reading this post, and I hope that every night you begin to understand me more and more.

Tonight you've learned that I want to be respected. And that I want to be remembered.

If you read deeper into each post you would see that I always capitalize Dad. I don't know when I started doing it, or why. I think it's because even though he's done so much wrong I respect the hell out of him.

Something that might not be as evident is that I love my mother to death and that I would literally do anything to put a smile on that woman's face. She has a beautiful smile and has spent enough of her life frowning. I love my mom so damn much, and I hope one day she reads this blog and sees what I have to say.

NP: Dear Mama- 2Pac