Date Party

So last night was the Pi's date party. I didn't have a date, but that isn't nearly as depressing as it sounds. I did have two semi-dates in Carla and Cindy (my fellow sober bros). All in all I would say the party was a success. Nobody got kicked out of Mi Ranch, everybody looked stunning in their dress clothes, and everybody seemed to be having a good time.

Being a sober bro wasn't nearly as bad as some people make it out to be. The plan is to be on my sober grind every weekend for the rest of the semester. There are plenty of reasons why, but I keep forgetting one of them when people ask.

When you're sober in a room full of drunk people your character is tested. Not in the egotistical sense that you're "too good" to drink, but rather in the sense that you're putting up with all these people who aren't necessarily in the right state of mind. Last night I got to be a wallflower again. I got to sit on my barstool and really take a long look at everything that was happening around me. I watched people dance and sing and I listened to them as they talked. It's shocking how much really goes on in one evening when you bring together fifty or sixty people.

I really didn't do much at the party, but I still enjoyed myself.

I don't mind looking out for everybody. It's kinda something I like doing, truth be told.

After date party was over I hung out with Cindy for a while and we just sat around talking about everything. (We planned to each do our own studying, but studying on a Saturday night after 10 PM is a bit far fetched.)

The more we talked the more I got to thinking about life down the road and about how much our past is present in that.

To really abandon your past you'd have to make some drastic decisions. It isn't likely that you can ever totally escape your past. And why would you? Your past, for the most part, is made up of decisions and actions you consciously made. As cliche as it sounds "Never regret anything because at one point it was exactly what you wanted." And that's true, as all cliches are. Our pasts are our pasts, certainly, but there are parts of our past that will always be with us.

Like the people we've hurt and the people we've loved. They're two opposite ends of the spectrum, but they're things we can't escape. Forgetting about someone you've loved is like forgetting your own name. You can't do it because it's become a part of you over time.

So I guess our past is our past, but to some degree it's also our present and future.

Last night was a reminder of that. A reminder that my past is still a large part of my life.

So, as I write this blog I'm also writing a letter. A letter to send to a part of my past, my present, and possibly my future.

The real problem is what to say and what not to say. Because when people or events overlap your past and your future you might say something but mean something else. As time goes by things change. Even the constants in your life have changed. Which means you have to choose your words carefully.

Oftentimes I say the right thing, at the wrong time, to the right  person, and that gets me in trouble.

I'm just working on getting all three to line up.

NP: Say Something- A Great Big World