thoughts on my transfer

I don't know what made me think about it and I'm still not sure exactly what I think about it, but something made me think about my transfer.

I guess part of it is missing some people from Fordham. Some of it was seeing Jarrett post pictures of being back at Fordham on Instagram. And honestly some of it just hit me out of nowhere.

Seeing Jarrett's pictures made me smile because, well because I miss him. More than he knows. The pictures also made me feel empty in a way. Empty because I'll never have what he has there. Jarrett went to Fordham for four years and from the outside looking in I would say he did it the right way. He made friends, he had fun, and now he has a great job. Even though I'm hundreds of miles away I still feel, and think I'll always feel, a little sense of belonging at Fordham.

The part that hit me out of nowhere isn't exactly from nowhere I guess. It's from the lecture halls, the 250 people in my classes, and the feel of classes thus far. I have some classes here that will challenge me, no doubt, but I don't feel nearly as challenged as I was at Fordham. It makes me think back to my time in high school and how hard I worked. I busted my ass for three years (let's be honest I skated through senior year) trying to get into a top tier school. I did exactly what I planned and then I came back.

I'm not knocking on Pitt. Hell, I love it here so far. It's just not what I had planned on when I was in high school.

I busted my ass for the small classes that Fordham offered. Last semester 40 kids was a packed class and now I have 250.

I guess the thing I'm missing right now is a personal tie to my school. I think it will come in time. When people used to ask where I went to college I got to say "Fordham University". After I would answer there were two looks I would get; one was a look of puzzlement because they had no idea where or what Fordham was and the second was a congratulatory look because they did know what it was and thought it was a great school.

Pitt's a great school too, I'm just not used to saying I go here.

Today Mr. Gannon brought me back to school and as I got out of the car and thanked him he said three words that really shook me. They weren't aggressive words, or words of warning, and honestly they weren't anything uncommon. He just said, "Make us proud."

See when I got into Fordham I felt like I made everyone proud. When I got a 3.6 my first semester I felt like I made everyone proud. I don't know if I made anyone proud by transferring.

I plan on making everybody proud. Give me time.

I don't see what Mr. Gannon said as a challenge, or a test, I guess I see it as more of an opportunity. You always have the opportunity to make people proud. And I don't think that the people in my life aren't proud of me. I think I can just make them more proud.

I don't really know where this was going, or if it was going anywhere. I guess it's going wherever you want it to go. All I'm saying is that I will make you proud, Mr. Gannon. I'll make you all proud.

I promise.

NP: Take Care- Drake ft. Rihanna