Even though Nikki was just a dog she was a part of our family. She came into our lives at a tumultuous time. We got her as a puppy about nine months before my dad went away to rehab. She was with us for around 7 years and for the most part she brought us all together a little better than before we had her.
To me, Nikki was a dog, but she was also a reminder of how I had to grow up. When dad was away at rehab I would be the one to wake up early and take her out to pee. That was a special time between Nikki and I. My dad was always her favorite and while he was gone you could tell she was a little bit let down.
I'd be lying if i said there weren't times I wanted to strangle Nikki because there definitely were. Like the times you'd take her out to pee in the dead of winter and she'd roll around in the snow for 25 minutes while you'd freeze your ass off. Or the times she'd pee in the house when you really needed to leave but couldn't leave because you had to clean up her mess.
But the good far outweighed the bad. That's for sure.
Like the times you'd be having a bad day and be pissed off at the world and she'd come up to you and rest her head on your lap with that innocent look on her face. Or when she'd jump up on the couch and cuddle up next to you despite you telling her not to.
In a lot of ways a dog is like a child of yours. You watch them grow up and eventually you have to say goodbye. Nikki started out a tiny little puppy who was scared of everything from thunder to her puppy gate, and as she grew up she became more mature and learned what she could and couldn't do. And as she got older she became sick. And as sad as that was for my family I wish I could've been around more for it because I knew she didn't have much left in the tank. I said bye to her before we left for Florida, and honestly I wasn't sure if I'd see her again or not. It turns out that that was the last time I got to see my baby.
It's right now that I wish I had spent more time with her. All the times I rushed out the door without petting her a few extra times or the times I could've just laid with her and chose not to. I guess that dogs are family, and sometimes you don't really know what you'll be missing until you've lost it. I guess all pets are like that. You sort of take them for granted, never fully realizing the impact they have on your life until much later.
For me Nikki impacted my life everyday. From taking her out to pee to stepping over the baby gates that kept her from running upstairs she was always a part of my day. I now realize how big a part she was. I wish I could ease some of the pain that my dad is feeling because Nikki was his best friend. She brought out the truly loving side of him. He loved that dog to pieces and would've done anything for her. Hell, he did everything he could up until the last days of her life. Towards the end of her life he would pick her up and take her out to pee, and the night before they put her down he laid on the floor in the sun room with her to keep her from crying, and when he knew it was her time to go he had her put down.
My dad loved that dog the way any person should love someone else. He loved her selflessly. He put in everything he could and never expected anything in return. The only thing he got back was a little friend that stood about 3 feet tall. He did everything he could and he knew when she needed to go that he had to say goodbye. I know everyone in my family will be hurting for a while, but if there is such a thing as heaven then I know Nikki is up there right now. Probably eating food and rolling around in the snow. That's when she was the happiest.
I miss my dog, but I know she's better off now. And I know that to some degree she helped shape not only me but my family, and for that I'm eternally thankful.
NP: Kids - Of Monsters and Men Cover
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