This blog is made up of 3 parts that don't really go together at all. They're just things I've thought about recently. Maybe some of it will translate well enough to make sense to you all. If not, so be it.
Family
Another Hilton Head family vacation has some and gone, and I can only hope that it isn't the last year I get to go down. I remember throughout middle school and high school I dreaded the thought of Hilton Head without my cousins. I knew that as they grew up they'd take on responsibilities that made them unable to come on vacation. Sadly it seems I've now reached the age where summers are spent working instead of playing. It's a natural progression, I realize, but it still makes me a little sad knowing that I'll potentially be missing out on family time.
See as much as family time can become overwhelming I'll never complain about it. And even though two weeks in Hilton Head can bring out all of our family's insecurities and dysfunction it also manages to bring out the best in us. When we're on vacation there is always at least one meltdown on the schedule. The magnitude of the meltdown and who is going to meltdown is always a roll of the dice, but it's guaranteed that someone will.
Honestly though, everybody's family is dysfunctional. If you think otherwise you're crazy. Some families are better than others at hiding it, but deep down everyone has a certain level of insanity in their family.
I think I cherish every vacation so much because one day Pap and Joyce won't be around to vacation with. I haven't actually come to terms with that yet, but I am aware that it is something that will one day happen. (Not for a while though because they're both in great health.) Pap's the one who makes Hilton Head possible and I can't thank him enough for that. I think one of the best things about Pap is his hardheadedness when it comes to changing. He has his old "dumb phone" as he calls it, and he absolutely refuses to get a new phone. Joyce even told him she would buy him the new iPhone with a year of data last Christmas and he turned it down. He doesn't want a new phone, but he's usually willing to splurge on some new golf clubs if he needs them. (Except his putter.) Pap's funny like that I guess.
If Pap taught me one thing this trip it's that sometimes simplicity is the sweetest. You have to understand that when our family vacations there is a disturbing amount of ice cream consumed. And Pap is right up there in the consumption. He'll take us all to get ice cream & spend 50 or 60 dollars on us only to go home and make himself a sundae with Breyer's Ice Cream. He never buys himself ice cream at the various ice cream shops. He'd rather make his own at home. And I'd be lying if I didn't give him credit for making one heck of a sundae.
(Also, a note from me to you. When you're with your loved ones take as many pictures as you can. Capture these memories on film so that you can decorate your life with the people who can't always be there. A picture truly is worth a thousand words and a picture is also there to remind you of things that are no longer around. If one day you mind slips and you you no longer remember you can glance at a picture and use it as a starting point. If nothing else you can use it to build your own story of what happened.)
Changing Plans
As I grow up I find myself constantly making plans and changing them. It's not something I do on purpose, it's just that with more responsibilities come more cancelled plans. You go from having the weekend off to working 20 hours in an instant. You make plans to see a friend and have to reschedule because something just gets in the way.
We go from planning to see someone in a week to waiting a month. It often seems that the people we yearn for the most are often the hardest to get to.
But just becuase they're hard to get to doesn't mean you shouldn't try.
Every minute/hour/day that goes by we're that much closer to the end of our life. Our time here on earth is hopelessly finite and sadly some people don't realize that. They push things back and back and eventually the thing they kept delaying is no longer there. That's why we need to keep plans. And if we can't keep them we need to do our damnedest to get there as soon as possible.
Don't let a week turn into forever. Get in your car and go see the people you need to see.
Like I said... no transitions... just thoughts.
The Past
Sooo... the past. You know, the thing that's supposed to be behind us? Turns out that it's never really behind us. Or maybe it is and the real fact of the matter is that we can't change what happened or how it shaped us. For instance, I'm a slightly different person today than I was last week. And I'm a much different person today than I was three years ago. Keep in mind that "different" is relative. For the most part I am the same person, but my viewpoints, expectations, and plans for myself are all different now than they once were.
The thing about the past is that we all have one. But what does that mean when we decide to let someone new into our life?
For each person it'll be different, but for me this is what letting someone in means:
It means that you have to accept somebody for who they currently are not who they were. That entails looking beyond their past and taking them and loving them the way they are now.
It also means you have to know yourself and believe that the person you're letting in accepts you as you are. You can't pretend to be someone you aren't because the discord will be apparent and the relationship you had built of hoped to build will crumble.
Letting someone in also involves accepting and letting go of things you can't change about the past, be it your own or theirs. Chances are you won't be taking them on their first date, you won't be giving them their first kiss, and you won't be their first love. And they probably won't be yours either. But what you can do instead, if you do it right, is be their last, best whatever.
Without even realizing it you could be taking some pretty girl on her last, first date. You could kiss her goodbye like no one ever has & leave her craving another day with you. You could prove to be the best love she's ever known & the guy her parents entrust her with forever.
But none of that's possible if you're busy worrying about the people who kissed her first.
As far as I'm concerned the past is lost and the present is a gift.
Meanwhile the future is a combination of lessons from the past and best laid plans based on the present. It's always uncertain, but significantly less so when you've found something worthwhile.
That's all she ~he~ wrote.
NP: Sight of the Sun- Fun.
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