Finals Week Blues

So this morning marked the beginning of finals week here at Pitt. Some students will luck out with only one final exam while others will be weighed down with five. I find myself wandering somewhere in the middle with four. I can't complain about them though because two of them are already done and my other two aren't until Thursday.

I guess my main gripe with finals is the sheer amount of knowledge we're expected to memorize. (Note that I didn't say "learn" because I'm not totally convinced the purpose of most college classes is to learn the material.)

Finals week is portrayed in popular media as this horrible, sleep deprived, coffee binged, wish-you-were-dead atmosphere. And truthfully it can fit that exact portrayal if you let it. For example, Thursday I'm going to take an exam for Quant that is worth 40% of my grade. The more exams I take & the more I think about grades or GPAs the less I try care about them.

I've spent too much time beating myself up over the fact I might not keep an insanely high GPA for my throughout my college career. Sadly, it's pounded into young students' minds that you need that GPA to make yourself "marketable" and "employable." How can someone tell me what I'm worth based off of some number? I don't care if it's a 4.0, 3.6, 2.8, or a 2.0. It's a damn number. And sure, that number represents how you've done in your coursework.

But again, I ask, "Who cares?"

Maybe the problem is that I'm equating work success with life success.

Maybe a GPA is essential in finding the best workers, but who's measuring the really important numbers in my life?

What employer is concerned with the number of lives I've touched? Or the number of people I can make smile on a daily basis? Or the percent of my day I spend thinking about the world at large?

I guess that isn't for them to care about.

I just wish my resume wasn't so much about grades and past experiences. I wish it highlighted what I do on a daily basis and what I do each day to better myself.

I think the whole résumé building process is a scam. It's about embellishing our minimum wage jobs to make it look like we've been changing water to wine. "Are you sure you want to put cashier? Couldn't you say, 'Customer Transaction Manager?'" NO. I was a cashier for God's sake! I don't need to bullshit it. It is what it is!

I wish my résumé could be made up solely of comments about me from people in my life. I feel like that would be a far better representation of me than a list of job titles and activities I partake in. Frankly I don't care what jobs a person has worked or the activities they're involved in. I care about how they treat those people around them, how they react under pressure, and what they're made of.

I'd rather learn about someone's moral fiber than about their role in the finance club. I just don't think enough emphasis is put on being a good person or standing for something.

We're here at college for 4 years and when we're done they give us a piece of paper.

That means that after almost 1500 days of our life the only material thing college leaves us with is a lone piece of paper.

Lemme show you a little equation I've come up with to summarize how college works based off of what you're guaranteed to give and guaranteed to receive.

Guaranteed to give:
1461 days of your life
$100,000 of your money

Guaranteed to receive:
1 piece of paper
1 judgment of your employability

That means... 1,460 days+100,000 dollars=1 piece of paper+1 judgment of employability.

Unless we add in another variable.
1,460 days+100,000 dollars= 1 piece of paper+1 judgment of employability+(x)

In my opinion that x is the real reason we come to college. The x is what makes it all worthwhile.

That x includes the relationships we build, the memories we make, the minutes of each day spent realizing that money doesn't matter, and the sheer moments of joy from finding ourselves in the right place at the right time.

Personally that last one is the most important.

There are hundreds of times a semester when I question why I'm here at college. I tell myself it's trivial and that my time could be better spent somewhere else. And then, occasionally, I'll have moments of pure ecstasy. I'll be overcome by the notion that things, even if for just one moment, are exactly how they should be.

You only know those moments when you're in them. Things like hours of uncontrollable laughter with my friends, fleeting seconds where my gaze and smile are reciprocated by a beautiful girl, the rush of adrenaline after finishing a long run, or the 3 blocks of invincibility felt walking right down the middle of Forbes Avenue.

Those are the moments I stick around for.

I swear I've felt it. I must've felt it.

Because what else would keep me going?

Certainly not some piece of paper.

NP: Boy With A Coin- Iron & Wine