Befriend First

Last night I spent the night at Pap's house. My apartment was buzzing with activity and I felt like getting away for the night. I felt so at peace just laying on the couch listening to music. Pap's house will always feel like a home away from home to me.

It's hard to explain, but in his house I felt so small. I'm used to spending nights in my tiny bedroom apartment, but in his house I had so much room to myself. It felt good to feel small. Not small in an unimportant sense, rather in the sense that there is so much space available to me.

Change of pace.

While looking up the Friedrich Nietzsche quote for last night's blog I saw another quote of his that I couldn't agree with more. The quote reads, "It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages." I feel like too many times relationships fail because the people in them don't take the time to become friends first.

In the hookup culture that dominates the lives of my generation it seems to be very rare that you spend time with someone and get to know them as a friend before you become more. I think that's why people get so bored with each other so fast. If you become someone's friend rather than their fling you have a much better chance of keeping them close for a long period of time. People don't fall out of love nearly as often as they get bored, but boredom is often misinterpreted as lost love. Kids (or adults for that matter) are deathly afraid of being bored, so when the first signs of boredom show up, they begin to feel trapped. 

It's just boredom, though! Not lovelessness! 

I'm not claiming to know the key to a long, fruitful relationship. I just think you need to befriend someone before you can love them. 

So maybe the next time you go to "watch a movie" with a girl you like you should do just that. Sit a little bit apart and let the distance between you gradually decrease. You might learn more about her with her slightly out of your reach. 

And again, some more poetry for y'all. 

I Wait Up
I can walk you right to the cusp,

but I cannot come in. 

It's just not my place to be,

at this moment in time. 

But I'll wait up,

for you.

Because when I walk by your side, 

I'm better than when I walk alone.

I try my damnedest, 

to make you realize it.

But I can never tell you,

exactly how to feel. 

But I'll wait up, 

only for you.
When our hands break tie,
you'll go to brave the night.
And I'll be headed back,
to my own less rousing reality.
But if and when you need me,
You know I'm already there.
Since I wait up,
I always wait up,
for you.

NP: I Can Wait Forever- Simple Plan