Long Walks/ Varying Degrees of Alone

To whom it may concern. It's 2 am Labor Day morning. I'm walking home. By myself. I'm not sad though. I'm not even alone really. In some way that I can't quite describe I'm surrounded. When you know no one else is awake it's hard to feel alone. Loneliness is an emotion felt when people could be with you but aren't. When you're by yourself and everyone else is fast asleep you can rejoice knowing how much company awaits you later. 

I find myself watching the few people I pass on this walk. So far it's only been 1 girl. I passed her on the stairs and I couldn't help but notice how lonely she looked. Dressed up for a night out with friends she returned alone. I watched her pass and turned back to check on her after a few seconds. You always have to be looking out for people, always. Even when you're just as vulnerable you should lend a hand to help them feel just a tiny bit more comfortable. 

Now a group of people ahead of me. This group, 7 strong, still shows chinks in the armor. Out of 7 only 3 walk with a purpose. The rest lag behind. It's impossible to tell from my point of view if this group had too much to drink or not enough, truth be told the answers would probably vary from person to person.

And now 2 visibly intoxicated kids approach. Loud and obviously looking for some trouble. I put my head down and turn my music up. I have no interest in what they're saying.  I don't change my pace or my path. One intentionally bumps me but I refuse to acknowledge this feeble attempt at upsetting me. 

I pass through Towers lobby to see more friendly faces of freshman and also to reminisce. Back to those nights Greg and I would be in bed by 11 and not fall asleep until 1:30. Simply talking. Two new friends. Two best friends. I remember it all. And I don't plan on forgetting anytime soon. 

But memories have to be sidelined as I enter the muggy air once more. On Forbes I see more people. Friendly faces filled with smiles and unfriendly ones scouring at me.  

I turn down Meyran to finish my night. The only time I divert from my path is here. Simply to make sure everything is at peace. I end up behind a couple who lock hands for their walk home. I can see the girl's hand tense up while the boy stays at ease. He's there for her. And I'm sure she knows it far better than I. I've felt hands tense in mine and I know that I'd never let anything happen to the person I held. I smile for the two of them because of the prospect of what might be. Eventually I leave the two to head down the tight alleyway to my front door. 

I have arrived. I'm no different physically than I was some 20 minutes ago when I left. (With the exception of a drop of sweat on my brow.) But somehow I've grown in this short walk. I've seen people alone when they're by themselves, I've seen people alone in a group, I've seen people together in a pair, and I've felt surrounded with no one around. I walked myself home and didn't think once about myself, instead I focused on those around me. I think it's time to start doing that when everyone is awake. Less about me and more about all of you. 

I love you all. Every last one of you.

NP: Make it Home- Hoodie Allen