Honestly this summer is dedicated to having as much fun as I can, while I still can. Earlier this summer I got caught up with worrying about "what this meant" or "where this was going". Now my only worry is "does this make me happy?"
Live for yourself this summer. Worry about the people who are worth the worry. Let things go and pick up new things. Take things as they come. Give things as you see fit. Don't let go of a good thing but don't strangle it either. If you let something go there is a chance it will come back, but if you suffocate it then it has no chance. Understand that the past is irreversible, the present untouchable, and the future unpredictable. Don't give up on the past as a present for the future though.
Overuse words like 'beautiful' and 'amazing' this summer.
Life is good.
Unpredictable, unbelievable, possibly unfair, but good.
NP: Beneath Your Beautiful- Labrinth ft. Emeli Sande
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Wednesday, June 26, 2013
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
swim up bar in Jamaica
Who would have thought that I'd see one of the more life changing, eye opening things in my life at a swim up bar in Jamaica? Maybe you had to be here to experience it, but maybe I'll be able to get the point across to you.
Today at the pool I saw a young couple walk by me looking for a place to lay out. I looked first at the man who stood about 6'2" tall and was athletically built. I looked next at his girlfriend. A small framed, nice looking, blonde girl. At first I didn't notice, but at a second glance I noticed something shocking. The young woman didn't have either arm or either leg. It seems like that would be the first thing I noticed but it wasn't. She had four prosthetic limbs and couldn't be a day over 25.
This world is a damn cruel one and I can't help but ask what sort of tragedy could rob someone of four limbs. I couldn't even imagine.
I laid back and closed my eyes for a few minutes and when I opened them I looked across the pool. The young man was getting into the pool and was carrying his girlfriend down the stairs. Cradling her in his arms like a baby. All I could think was how big of a person he is. It takes a strong, strong person to do what he does. Not the fact that he was physically carrying her, but that he takes on that responsibility each and every day. Things I take for granted are things he has to help her through every single day. From washing your body in the shower to getting into the shower. The list is never ending. The look on his face wasn't that of a burdened man though, it was the look of a happy man. He and his girlfriend wanted to sit at the bar and have a drink and he was going to do whatever was necessary to make that happen.
It just goes to show that beauty isn't skin deep. As cliche as that sounds it's true. That guy was beautiful. His girlfriend was beautiful. Their love was beautiful. It wasn't just beautiful but powerful too. Powerful enough to put another person in your arms and carry them. Powerful enough to walk on through the stares of dozens of people. Powerful enough to never give up on someone, no matter how hard things get.
What I saw at a swim up bar was true love.
To me love is giving someone everything you can, knowing ahead of time they might not be able to reciprocate it and being okay with that.
If I were you, and I read this whole thing I would take a second to think about someone I love. Think about what you'd be willing to do for that person. Think about your life without that person. Once you've thought about it you should tell them. Tell them exactly how you feel right this moment because waiting is just plain dumb. You're here, now, in the moment so why not tell them?
NP: Young and Beautiful- Lana Del Rey
Sunday, June 16, 2013
papa
So today is the one day a year dedicated especially to the fathers out there.
I don't have some special Father's Day blog set up for my dad.
That isn't to knock him or anything, I just think that he shines through this blog every single day and doesn't need one day dedicated to him. You know him from the parts of his story I've shared. You know where he's been, what he's done, and how he's made me who I am today.
You all know bits and pieces about my dad, but none of you really know my dad. You may know his vices, but few of you know his virtues.
There were times my dad wasn't much of a dad. That's the truth of the matter.
Truthfully I couldn't imagine my life if my dad had done it a different way though.
To me, being a dad isn't about sheltering your son from the evils of this world, instead it's about preparing him to face them. In some twisted way or another my dad taught me how to deal with things like drugs, addiction, violence, and death. He taught me how to cope but more importantly he taught me how to enjoy.
My dad was far from conventional in his methods, but one way or another I learned.
I'm thankful every single day that my dad walked into a bar some twenty years ago.
...otherwise he might not have met my mom.
Happy Father's Day, Dad. I love you.
NP: Cat's In the Cradle- Harry Chapin
I don't have some special Father's Day blog set up for my dad.
That isn't to knock him or anything, I just think that he shines through this blog every single day and doesn't need one day dedicated to him. You know him from the parts of his story I've shared. You know where he's been, what he's done, and how he's made me who I am today.
You all know bits and pieces about my dad, but none of you really know my dad. You may know his vices, but few of you know his virtues.
There were times my dad wasn't much of a dad. That's the truth of the matter.
Truthfully I couldn't imagine my life if my dad had done it a different way though.
To me, being a dad isn't about sheltering your son from the evils of this world, instead it's about preparing him to face them. In some twisted way or another my dad taught me how to deal with things like drugs, addiction, violence, and death. He taught me how to cope but more importantly he taught me how to enjoy.
My dad was far from conventional in his methods, but one way or another I learned.
I'm thankful every single day that my dad walked into a bar some twenty years ago.
...otherwise he might not have met my mom.
Happy Father's Day, Dad. I love you.
NP: Cat's In the Cradle- Harry Chapin
Saturday, June 15, 2013
this new thing
Recently I've been trying to teach myself this new concept. It's not something that seems too difficult, but for whatever reason it's a concept that consistently escapes me. I don't know how to accept that someone isn't always at fault.
Whenever things don't work out the way I expect them to I immediately try to place the blame somewhere. When it isn't someone else, I blame myself. I have a tough time blaming someone for something because I believe that if I do everything I can, then it has to work out.
The truth of the matter is that there is no blame to bear, and the sooner I accept that as fact, the sooner I'll accept where my life is at.
I'm far from perfect, but I'll be damned if I'm not working towards it.
More ups than downs. That's the key.
NP: Yellow Light- Of Monsters And Men
Whenever things don't work out the way I expect them to I immediately try to place the blame somewhere. When it isn't someone else, I blame myself. I have a tough time blaming someone for something because I believe that if I do everything I can, then it has to work out.
The truth of the matter is that there is no blame to bear, and the sooner I accept that as fact, the sooner I'll accept where my life is at.
I'm far from perfect, but I'll be damned if I'm not working towards it.
More ups than downs. That's the key.
NP: Yellow Light- Of Monsters And Men
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
Summer Update
So I have been on summer break for around a month and a half. I figured I'd give you guys something to read because, well, it's been a month since my last post.
My job is a job. I spend round about 6.5 hours on my feet walking around listening to music. The pros of the job include: working outside and building a tan, $10/hr, working 3 days a week, being done by 3:30 the days I do work. The cons include: waking up 6:30 to go to work, the busy work, the fact that for 8 hours I say less than 20 words. Being left alone to my thoughts starts to take a toll after awhile. It gives me too much time to think about things other than work.
Things like friends, love, school and my future. So far this summer hasn't really played out the way I thought it would. I can't complain though because more of my time is spent laughing than crying, more time smiling than frowning, and more time surrounded with people I love than time alone. So if I'm laughing, smiling, and loving it seems like things can't be going that poorly. And truth be told they aren't. I love my life. I love my friends and family. And most importantly I love my future.
I love my friends and family because they are the constants. They're always there and unchanging. I love the future because regardless of what anyone says it's bright. To think anything less would be selling myself short and being pessimistic about something I completely control.
The summer is young and I've already made my fair share of mistakes, but truth be told I can't wait to make some more. You see I view it the way Oscar Wilde did when he said, "Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes." The same things you might be labeling as "experience" I'm busy acknowledging as mistakes.
It's June 12th and the reality of this summer is becoming more evident as time goes on. The next 2 months and 2 weeks will be the last normal summer days with all my friends here. Next summer Amanda will be in Charlottesville, Ashley in Akron, Ty wherever his legs take him, Dave possibly in London, and realistically it looks like it'll be Jared, Ethan, and I holding down Oakdale. It would be foolish and selfish to wish for another summer with us all here. Realistically we're all growing up and headed our own directions. If I had the chance to take an internship somewhere cool next summer I wouldn't hesitate. NYC would be incredible.
I don't have any real regrets from this summer. Sure there are things happening that I thought wouldn't and some things not happening that I hoped would, but such is life. I can't focus on what has happened and what hasn't though. Gotta keep my eyes forward to what still can happen.
I can't wait for this coming school year.
And at the same time I don't want this summer to end.
That's all for now.
NP: Jump Right In- Zac Brown Band
My job is a job. I spend round about 6.5 hours on my feet walking around listening to music. The pros of the job include: working outside and building a tan, $10/hr, working 3 days a week, being done by 3:30 the days I do work. The cons include: waking up 6:30 to go to work, the busy work, the fact that for 8 hours I say less than 20 words. Being left alone to my thoughts starts to take a toll after awhile. It gives me too much time to think about things other than work.
Things like friends, love, school and my future. So far this summer hasn't really played out the way I thought it would. I can't complain though because more of my time is spent laughing than crying, more time smiling than frowning, and more time surrounded with people I love than time alone. So if I'm laughing, smiling, and loving it seems like things can't be going that poorly. And truth be told they aren't. I love my life. I love my friends and family. And most importantly I love my future.
I love my friends and family because they are the constants. They're always there and unchanging. I love the future because regardless of what anyone says it's bright. To think anything less would be selling myself short and being pessimistic about something I completely control.
The summer is young and I've already made my fair share of mistakes, but truth be told I can't wait to make some more. You see I view it the way Oscar Wilde did when he said, "Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes." The same things you might be labeling as "experience" I'm busy acknowledging as mistakes.
It's June 12th and the reality of this summer is becoming more evident as time goes on. The next 2 months and 2 weeks will be the last normal summer days with all my friends here. Next summer Amanda will be in Charlottesville, Ashley in Akron, Ty wherever his legs take him, Dave possibly in London, and realistically it looks like it'll be Jared, Ethan, and I holding down Oakdale. It would be foolish and selfish to wish for another summer with us all here. Realistically we're all growing up and headed our own directions. If I had the chance to take an internship somewhere cool next summer I wouldn't hesitate. NYC would be incredible.
I don't have any real regrets from this summer. Sure there are things happening that I thought wouldn't and some things not happening that I hoped would, but such is life. I can't focus on what has happened and what hasn't though. Gotta keep my eyes forward to what still can happen.
I can't wait for this coming school year.
And at the same time I don't want this summer to end.
That's all for now.
NP: Jump Right In- Zac Brown Band
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