on point

I was thinking a lot today about what people think about other people. So many people pretend they don't care what anyone thinks about them, but very few mean that. Almost everybody cares what someone's impression of them is. It's human nature to care about your reputation and the name you bear. I guess where some people go wrong (in my opinion) is with who they worry about. In my eyes what it comes down to is what those closest to you think about you. If your best friends were asked their honest opinions of you what response would they give? If it's a positive answer then you're doing it right. If it isn't, that doesn't mean they aren't your best friends, it means they see a potential flaw or trait they aren't fond of. Your best friends will be the most likely to give an accurate and truthful answer, even more so than parents because they aren't biased by the whole "I raised them and therefore they must be perfect" complex. I'm not saying a person should change who they are to meet the demands of their friends, but what I am saying is that if you're going to worry about someone's opinion of you, worry about your friend's opinion first. Oftentimes people get caught up worrying about what people with a better status think. Don't aim to impress people that others are impressed with, aim to impress your friends. Impress them to the highest degree and then maybe, just maybe, you can begin worrying about others.

I think that the moment I'm the most narcissistic is the moment I leave a group. I'm talking about anytime you're caught up in a group conversation or are just hanging out with friends. The moment you stand up and leave is when you're the most vulnerable. The second the door swings shut the first thing that pops into my mind is "I wonder". What I'm wondering is if after I've left the group has any say on me leaving or on me in general. Things like, "Man I wish Tom could've stayed longer," or, "you know,  Tom is a good guy." Do those types of things ever leave their mouths or enter their minds? I know that's slightly narcissistic of me, but it's the honest to god truth of what I think. Every time I leave I hope that the people I left behind have only positive things to say. That probably isn't the case in every situation which is fine because I'm flawed. Everybody won't like me and everybody doesn't have to like me.

I just hope the people close to me have good things to say about me about my funeral. I don't want it to be any more sad than it has to be.

Be sincere to those closest to you. Being anything else just isn't being.

NP: The Gambler- Fun.