prospering

It's been a while since I posted on here. You might be able to call it a lack of things to say. Either that or  me trying to focus on my actual schoolwork. I'll take a break for now to fill you in on where I am at.

I'm in my dorm room. I'm happy. I'm thinking a lot and my legs are shaking an increasing amount.

They've been shaking since this weekend.

Going to see Jenny run at indoor track states was nice. It gave me two car rides to think.

I thought a lot about how my sister, who is only 25 minutes away, is growing up so very fast. She's going to prom this year (her sophomore year). That's something her older brother certainly didn't do. Of course he was in a relationship at that time. My sister has done a lot that I never did. She's been to WPIAL Championships as well as PIAA States for indoor and outdoor track. She's achieved a level of athletic success I dreamed of in high school.

I'm not jealous of my sister, far from it. I am proud. I'm proud to watch my sister prosper the way she is.

Looking back on my sports career I can't say I regret anything. I truly believe if I would've focused in solely on baseball I could've gone somewhere for it. However, I didn't do that. And that's okay. I made plenty of memories in soccer and football.

School is going well. Grades are pretty solid and I'm putting in a lot of time in Calc which is the only class troubling me.

Other than that I don't really have much to say.

I guess I have one more thing.

I sell myself short a lot. In more respects than one. I don't mean for this to come across as cocky, but I'll risk coming across as cocky to avoid my usual overabundance of modesty. I'm better than I tell myself I am. At most things. School being one such thing. I tell myself that I'm going to make a difference, but I rarely back myself up and believe it.

Looking back I also see that I've made a lot of mistakes. I've done a lot of wrong. I think most of us have...in one way or another. I don't regret the mistakes I've made. Some of those mistakes are mistakes that I love and still do love. Some mistakes are ones I'd like to forget about. The beauty of my mind is that it won't let me forget, and truth be told it's probably better that way. Forgetting is disastrous.

I really want a tattoo.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Just a thought. And if you have time look up the meaning behind it. Most people read it and interpret it wrong because you need the whole poem to understand it. It isn't about choosing the less travelled path, it's about choosing a path between two equally good paths and looking back years later and sighing. Sighing in despair because when you come to the fork you know you can only choose one path and you won't likely every get to return and test the other path. Both paths are equally beaten and it is about choosing a path and traveling down it. There's no need for regret because exploring the other path isn't a possibility.

NP: The Cave- Mumford and Sons