As we all know time flies. A year passes in what feels like days and we can never go back. We're told to live in the present which seems hard to do. The present in 10 minutes is the future and 11 minutes later your future is now your past. So like I said, time flies.
Today is the last day of February in 2013. This month flew by.
And in fact looking back I can say that an entire year has flown by and I can't help but to shake my head and smile.
Time flies, but when we replay the memories we've made they play in the same speed which they occurred. Memories don't fly by and memories hardly fade. Memories are made constant because although time seems to move faster, in reality it's moving at a constant speed. 60 seconds in a minute, 60 minutes in an hour, and 24 hours in 1 day.We're given 365 days made up of hours and seconds and if we're lucky the calendar toys with our heart and tosses us February 29th every 4 years.
Every four years we're granted the pleasure of another day.
I don't know if this was supposed to be going anywhere, I guess I'm just thinking again.
Love you guys.
(Also, good luck to my best friend and girlfriend at MACs today. Wish I could be there.)
NP: Grand Theft Autumn- Fall Out Boy
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
prospering
It's been a while since I posted on here. You might be able to call it a lack of things to say. Either that or me trying to focus on my actual schoolwork. I'll take a break for now to fill you in on where I am at.
I'm in my dorm room. I'm happy. I'm thinking a lot and my legs are shaking an increasing amount.
They've been shaking since this weekend.
Going to see Jenny run at indoor track states was nice. It gave me two car rides to think.
I thought a lot about how my sister, who is only 25 minutes away, is growing up so very fast. She's going to prom this year (her sophomore year). That's something her older brother certainly didn't do. Of course he was in a relationship at that time. My sister has done a lot that I never did. She's been to WPIAL Championships as well as PIAA States for indoor and outdoor track. She's achieved a level of athletic success I dreamed of in high school.
I'm not jealous of my sister, far from it. I am proud. I'm proud to watch my sister prosper the way she is.
Looking back on my sports career I can't say I regret anything. I truly believe if I would've focused in solely on baseball I could've gone somewhere for it. However, I didn't do that. And that's okay. I made plenty of memories in soccer and football.
School is going well. Grades are pretty solid and I'm putting in a lot of time in Calc which is the only class troubling me.
Other than that I don't really have much to say.
I guess I have one more thing.
I sell myself short a lot. In more respects than one. I don't mean for this to come across as cocky, but I'll risk coming across as cocky to avoid my usual overabundance of modesty. I'm better than I tell myself I am. At most things. School being one such thing. I tell myself that I'm going to make a difference, but I rarely back myself up and believe it.
Looking back I also see that I've made a lot of mistakes. I've done a lot of wrong. I think most of us have...in one way or another. I don't regret the mistakes I've made. Some of those mistakes are mistakes that I love and still do love. Some mistakes are ones I'd like to forget about. The beauty of my mind is that it won't let me forget, and truth be told it's probably better that way. Forgetting is disastrous.
I really want a tattoo.
Just a thought. And if you have time look up the meaning behind it. Most people read it and interpret it wrong because you need the whole poem to understand it. It isn't about choosing the less travelled path, it's about choosing a path between two equally good paths and looking back years later and sighing. Sighing in despair because when you come to the fork you know you can only choose one path and you won't likely every get to return and test the other path. Both paths are equally beaten and it is about choosing a path and traveling down it. There's no need for regret because exploring the other path isn't a possibility.
NP: The Cave- Mumford and Sons
I'm in my dorm room. I'm happy. I'm thinking a lot and my legs are shaking an increasing amount.
They've been shaking since this weekend.
Going to see Jenny run at indoor track states was nice. It gave me two car rides to think.
I thought a lot about how my sister, who is only 25 minutes away, is growing up so very fast. She's going to prom this year (her sophomore year). That's something her older brother certainly didn't do. Of course he was in a relationship at that time. My sister has done a lot that I never did. She's been to WPIAL Championships as well as PIAA States for indoor and outdoor track. She's achieved a level of athletic success I dreamed of in high school.
I'm not jealous of my sister, far from it. I am proud. I'm proud to watch my sister prosper the way she is.
Looking back on my sports career I can't say I regret anything. I truly believe if I would've focused in solely on baseball I could've gone somewhere for it. However, I didn't do that. And that's okay. I made plenty of memories in soccer and football.
School is going well. Grades are pretty solid and I'm putting in a lot of time in Calc which is the only class troubling me.
Other than that I don't really have much to say.
I guess I have one more thing.
I sell myself short a lot. In more respects than one. I don't mean for this to come across as cocky, but I'll risk coming across as cocky to avoid my usual overabundance of modesty. I'm better than I tell myself I am. At most things. School being one such thing. I tell myself that I'm going to make a difference, but I rarely back myself up and believe it.
Looking back I also see that I've made a lot of mistakes. I've done a lot of wrong. I think most of us have...in one way or another. I don't regret the mistakes I've made. Some of those mistakes are mistakes that I love and still do love. Some mistakes are ones I'd like to forget about. The beauty of my mind is that it won't let me forget, and truth be told it's probably better that way. Forgetting is disastrous.
I really want a tattoo.
| I shall be telling this with a sigh | |
| Somewhere ages and ages hence: | |
| Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— | |
| I took the one less traveled by, | |
| And that has made all the difference. |
Just a thought. And if you have time look up the meaning behind it. Most people read it and interpret it wrong because you need the whole poem to understand it. It isn't about choosing the less travelled path, it's about choosing a path between two equally good paths and looking back years later and sighing. Sighing in despair because when you come to the fork you know you can only choose one path and you won't likely every get to return and test the other path. Both paths are equally beaten and it is about choosing a path and traveling down it. There's no need for regret because exploring the other path isn't a possibility.
NP: The Cave- Mumford and Sons
Monday, February 18, 2013
TV
I've begun to realize how little time I spend watching TV and how much time I spend on this computer.
I remember the days where my mom and I would watch our TV shows. Cold Case was our show.
Nowadays I don't really have a "show". Although, when I'm home I do a good amount of catching up on Castle and Big Bang Theory with Ashley.
Then again there are so many stupid shows on TV I might not be missing out on much.
I know people fawn over The Bachelor and The Bachelorette, but I just do not see it. It's basically a very, very soft porno with a bunch of nice looking people. The next bachelorette will more than likely be the girl who was "heartbroken" on this season of The Bachelor. Then, the bachelor after that will be the heartbroken guy from The Bachelorette. It's a vicious, seemingly never-ending cycle of heartbreaks and second chances. Oh fooey I say.
Come on now, heartbroken? How heartbroken can these girls or guys be? If you think that watching one guy kiss a bunch of girls, take them on "romantic dates", and give them a cliche rose to keep them around is love or anything close to it then you need some serious fixing.
The statistics are there to support my statements. Guess how many couples from The Bachelor and The Bachelorette are still together? There are 24 "official" couples from both television series, so why don't you take a guess at how many are still together?
Keep in mind that 50% of first marriages end in divorce in America. (Of course, these couples aren't necessarily married. That would require staying together long enough to tie the knot.)
The answer you all are looking for is a whopping 3. 3 out of 24 couples, or 12.5%.
I'm not sure where these couples went wrong really. Was it the intense personal encounters in a hot tub in the snow-capped mountains? Or maybe was it due to losing the allure of only having one guy or girl as opposed to dozens? Or is it possibly the idea that these shows don't help people find true love?
Just because you take 25 single ladies (or guys) and hand them over to an eligible bachelor (or bachelorette) doesn't mean they're going to find someone.
I guess they are looking to increase the odds? Or are they? Do the producers really give a shit?
It's reality TV and who knows how real it really is.
I don't have a problem with people who like these shows. Hell, if you're looking for a way to look at good looking people it's probably your best bet. Just don't expect much out of it other than that.
I know that each bachelor feels an "intense personal connection" with one of the girls he meets, and I'm not saying that he is lying, I'm just saying maybe his idea of a "personal connection" is a bit off.
Or maybe I am a bit off. As always that is a possibility. (However unlikely it is I still have to accept that it is possible.)
As always, it has been my pleasure filling your head with my thoughts.
NP: Snow- Red Hot Chili Peppers
Friday, February 15, 2013
the danger with mirrors
you see, the danger with mirrors is they let you look back. they allow you to look at yourself and question what you see. they allow you to peek behind you and see what either is, or isn't there.
mirrors help in so many trivial ways like aiding contact users and preventing many a bad hair days. but mirrors really are more bad than they are good. think to yourself, "what would a world without mirrors look like?" some of us will only take it at face value and say "well everyone would look a hell of a lot worse," and that's fine. that is a fine answer.
because we would look a lot different...but worse, how would we know? how can we look worse if there was never any better?
I can't answer that question.
all I know is that the world would be a much different place without mirrors.
mirrors allow for so much hate. hate of oneself and of others. it's unnecessary really, all this hate.
if we shattered all the mirrors and broke all the scales then maybe, just maybe, the world would be a little bit happier.
people would learn to trust their eyes a lot more, trust their perceptions more, and trust themselves more.
when you look in a mirror you are training yourself to search for flaws, for blemishes, or for any minute detail you think isn't right. we live in a mirror-ridden society where searching for flaws replaces searching for strengths.
i'm just as guilty as the next.
i just think it's interesting to think of a world without mirrors.
NP: Free Fallin'- John Mayer
Thursday, February 14, 2013
what do we love more? the rise? or the fall?
One memorable quote from the first Spiderman movie reads as follows, "The only thing they like to see more than a hero is to see a hero fail, fall, die trying."
Is that true? Do we love to see a hero fall and if we do, why is that?
I don't love to see a hero fall. Not in the slightest. When I heard about Lance Armstrong's cheating I took off my Livestrong band and haven't worn it since. Not because I was glad to see him come crumbling down or because I don't think he is a great athlete, but because I lost the admiration I had previously held and because the band didn't mean what it once meant. They can strip Lance Armstong of his Tour de France victories and any other titles he won. They can't take away the fact that he beat cancer, or the fact that the Livestrong foundation has been empowering those with cancer for over a decade.
Now, a little over 6 months after the end of the Olympic Games in London, a hero of the games, Oscar Pistorius, could be the next hero to fall. News broke this morning that South African police were called to Pistorius's house and upon arrival found his girlfriend with gunshot wounds. That woman would die because of the injuries. Right now the only suspect is Mr. Pistorius.
I don't want this to be true. I don't want a national hero and symbol of perseverance to be vilified and thrown in prison. It doesn't matter what I want, though, because justice will prevail just as it should. If Oscar Pistorius shot and killed his girlfriend he deserves to go to jail for it.
You see, the problem with heroes is something universal. It doesn't matter whether that hero is an athlete, a police officer, an armed service member, or a family member; at the end of they day they are all the same. They are humans.
When you make a human being a hero you hold them to a higher standard. Higher standards mean longer falls.
Whenever a police officer snaps and kicks a fugitive the public wants them to burn. When an athlete tests positive for PEDs they're supposed to live with an asterisk next to their name. An armed service member can be marred by a dishonorable discharge for a slip up.
They're no different than any other person. They are made of the same biological make-up as the rest of us. Yet we vilify these people when we're no better. We lie, we cheat, and we steal.
We hold them to a higher standard because...well because we need to have faith in someone. We aren't going to put our faith in the crack head on the side of the street and we aren't going to cry for his head when he gets high. The truth of the matter is that the crack head had a worse fall from glory than the athlete did. The athlete built him or herself up and fell back down to "our level" whereas the crack head fell from his original grace as a person into a life of addiction.
I don't want to see any heroes fall. I would much rather see an average person rise.
But heroes will continue to fall as long as humans continue to be imperfect.
It won't stop because imperfection is a part of life.
If you don't want to see a hero fall then be your own hero. You control whether or not you fall.
Be your hero and don't allow yourself to fall.
NP: Have Faith In Me- A Day To Remember
Is that true? Do we love to see a hero fall and if we do, why is that?
I don't love to see a hero fall. Not in the slightest. When I heard about Lance Armstrong's cheating I took off my Livestrong band and haven't worn it since. Not because I was glad to see him come crumbling down or because I don't think he is a great athlete, but because I lost the admiration I had previously held and because the band didn't mean what it once meant. They can strip Lance Armstong of his Tour de France victories and any other titles he won. They can't take away the fact that he beat cancer, or the fact that the Livestrong foundation has been empowering those with cancer for over a decade.
Now, a little over 6 months after the end of the Olympic Games in London, a hero of the games, Oscar Pistorius, could be the next hero to fall. News broke this morning that South African police were called to Pistorius's house and upon arrival found his girlfriend with gunshot wounds. That woman would die because of the injuries. Right now the only suspect is Mr. Pistorius.
I don't want this to be true. I don't want a national hero and symbol of perseverance to be vilified and thrown in prison. It doesn't matter what I want, though, because justice will prevail just as it should. If Oscar Pistorius shot and killed his girlfriend he deserves to go to jail for it.
You see, the problem with heroes is something universal. It doesn't matter whether that hero is an athlete, a police officer, an armed service member, or a family member; at the end of they day they are all the same. They are humans.
When you make a human being a hero you hold them to a higher standard. Higher standards mean longer falls.
Whenever a police officer snaps and kicks a fugitive the public wants them to burn. When an athlete tests positive for PEDs they're supposed to live with an asterisk next to their name. An armed service member can be marred by a dishonorable discharge for a slip up.
They're no different than any other person. They are made of the same biological make-up as the rest of us. Yet we vilify these people when we're no better. We lie, we cheat, and we steal.
We hold them to a higher standard because...well because we need to have faith in someone. We aren't going to put our faith in the crack head on the side of the street and we aren't going to cry for his head when he gets high. The truth of the matter is that the crack head had a worse fall from glory than the athlete did. The athlete built him or herself up and fell back down to "our level" whereas the crack head fell from his original grace as a person into a life of addiction.
I don't want to see any heroes fall. I would much rather see an average person rise.
But heroes will continue to fall as long as humans continue to be imperfect.
It won't stop because imperfection is a part of life.
If you don't want to see a hero fall then be your own hero. You control whether or not you fall.
Be your hero and don't allow yourself to fall.
NP: Have Faith In Me- A Day To Remember
Sunday, February 10, 2013
magnitude
Magnitude is defined as the importance, quality, or caliber of something. (Thanks, Merriam-Webster.) And tonight I was thinking about it in the sense of caliber.
I was thinking about the magnitude of our actions.
If one chooses to, he can live life with only the smallest consequences. Or he can face some large scale consequences if he'd like.
Sure, smaller consequences sound a heck of a lot better than huge consequences. In reality our consequences are directly correlated to our actions. If you go around your whole life only acting in the smallest way, only living a tiny bit, then you will only have to deal with small consequences and penalties. However, if you choose to act on a larger scale then you will surely face larger consequences.
But, "With great risk comes great reward."
Small actions will lead to small rewards.
Only when we are willing to risk the most will we ever gain the most. It could take something as bold as risking everything you have, everything you stand for, and everything you've become.
We can't be so bold as to think that when we risk it all that we are guaranteed a reward. We aren't. We aren't entitled to anything at all. We can merely put it on the line and let it ride. If instead of a reward we find ourselves facing a massive consequence, so be it.
We risk it all not for the certainty of reward but for the possibility of reward. Bold actions mean big consequences and it takes a big person to deal with the consequences of their actions.
What I'm getting at is don't be afraid to go big, to go crazy, or to do something nobody expects of you. It may just be rewarding. And if it isn't then you will learn from it, deal with the consequences, and grow. Or you will dodge the repercussions of your actions and remain the same.
A constant doesn't change my friends. In fact, in differentiation a constant becomes 0.
Keep that in mind.
NP: Vindicated- Dashboard Confessional
I was thinking about the magnitude of our actions.
If one chooses to, he can live life with only the smallest consequences. Or he can face some large scale consequences if he'd like.
Sure, smaller consequences sound a heck of a lot better than huge consequences. In reality our consequences are directly correlated to our actions. If you go around your whole life only acting in the smallest way, only living a tiny bit, then you will only have to deal with small consequences and penalties. However, if you choose to act on a larger scale then you will surely face larger consequences.
But, "With great risk comes great reward."
Small actions will lead to small rewards.
Only when we are willing to risk the most will we ever gain the most. It could take something as bold as risking everything you have, everything you stand for, and everything you've become.
We can't be so bold as to think that when we risk it all that we are guaranteed a reward. We aren't. We aren't entitled to anything at all. We can merely put it on the line and let it ride. If instead of a reward we find ourselves facing a massive consequence, so be it.
We risk it all not for the certainty of reward but for the possibility of reward. Bold actions mean big consequences and it takes a big person to deal with the consequences of their actions.
What I'm getting at is don't be afraid to go big, to go crazy, or to do something nobody expects of you. It may just be rewarding. And if it isn't then you will learn from it, deal with the consequences, and grow. Or you will dodge the repercussions of your actions and remain the same.
A constant doesn't change my friends. In fact, in differentiation a constant becomes 0.
Keep that in mind.
NP: Vindicated- Dashboard Confessional
Friday, February 8, 2013
well damn
Well damn it's been close to two weeks since I graced you all with my virtual presence. I'll assume you missed me dearly and that this blog is basically your salvation...you're welcome.
Things have been going! I took my first calculus exam today which went just swimmingly! Swimmingly in the sense of swimming in shark infested water with about 500 lacerations all over your body. Needless to say, it ate me up.
On the other hand I absolutely dominated my Drugs and Behavior exam. 350 definitions/concepts, 100 notecards, and 7 hours of studying later I got a 96%. I believe there is some calculus involved in that. First, you take the derivative of notecards, use the quotient rule for hours studied, then take the inverse of definitions and put all of that over a common denominator of 52817093250124 then you can find the answer.
I got an 88% on my psych exam. bleh.
I also have something like a 98.9% in Economics. Mike Quinn, you raised me right.
Aside from schoolwork my intramural soccer team competed in our first league game. We won 4 to 3 against a much taller team. If you added up all the other teams height, then added up all of our height and subtracted our total height from their total height they were basically playing with an extra man. (More calculus reasoning there.)
I'm still looking for more ways to get involved. Aside from intramural soccer I am not sure what intramurals are left to sign up for. I saw they have racquetball and although I have never played I assume that with the help of a few Youtube videos and my natural athleticism I will be a pro in no time. If I don't do intramural racquetball I may very well start making trips to Trees Pool for some self taught swim lessons. Lifting everyday is good, but it gets repetitive and running on the treadmill is modern America's version of Chinese water torture.
I also think I'm going to start doing some exploring. Maybe go wander around Schenley Park or other various areas around Oakland. It would help if it wasn't so damn dreary out all the time.
Anyway, this Pittsburgh life isn't too bad. Still just a kid figuring out what the hell he wants to get out of the world and what the hell the world wants to get out of him.
NP: Time of Your Life- Green Day
Things have been going! I took my first calculus exam today which went just swimmingly! Swimmingly in the sense of swimming in shark infested water with about 500 lacerations all over your body. Needless to say, it ate me up.
On the other hand I absolutely dominated my Drugs and Behavior exam. 350 definitions/concepts, 100 notecards, and 7 hours of studying later I got a 96%. I believe there is some calculus involved in that. First, you take the derivative of notecards, use the quotient rule for hours studied, then take the inverse of definitions and put all of that over a common denominator of 52817093250124 then you can find the answer.
I got an 88% on my psych exam. bleh.
I also have something like a 98.9% in Economics. Mike Quinn, you raised me right.
Aside from schoolwork my intramural soccer team competed in our first league game. We won 4 to 3 against a much taller team. If you added up all the other teams height, then added up all of our height and subtracted our total height from their total height they were basically playing with an extra man. (More calculus reasoning there.)
I'm still looking for more ways to get involved. Aside from intramural soccer I am not sure what intramurals are left to sign up for. I saw they have racquetball and although I have never played I assume that with the help of a few Youtube videos and my natural athleticism I will be a pro in no time. If I don't do intramural racquetball I may very well start making trips to Trees Pool for some self taught swim lessons. Lifting everyday is good, but it gets repetitive and running on the treadmill is modern America's version of Chinese water torture.
I also think I'm going to start doing some exploring. Maybe go wander around Schenley Park or other various areas around Oakland. It would help if it wasn't so damn dreary out all the time.
Anyway, this Pittsburgh life isn't too bad. Still just a kid figuring out what the hell he wants to get out of the world and what the hell the world wants to get out of him.
NP: Time of Your Life- Green Day
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