This is the end, for you my friend...

Talking about the end is depressing but i need to get it out. Recently I have realized that a lot of things are coming to an end in my life. Last Thursday I played what would turn out to be my last hig school soccer game ever. Looking back, playing high school soccer was four of the best years of my life. I got a chance to play with my friends that I have played with since we were five years old playing at Argenta. I can remember back to those days when the biggest worry before the game was which side of our reversible jersey we were supposed to wear. Those friends from the team fill a place in my heart that no team or group can ever touch, it's kinda like the quote from The Perks of Being a Wallflower because in that moment when we lost and we were sitting in the locker room, we were "infinite." I texted all the senior guys after the loss and spilled my heart to them, the replies i got back made me smile. Most of them were thank yous and saying how much they enjoyed playing with me and enjoyed my joking around. One text though from a friend who I tought had no real emotions said "You've got a bright future ahead of you." That brought tears to my eyes because I am so scared of the future and what it might hold for me. But I hope my friend is right and that I do have a bright future ahead of me. The last thing i have to say about that is cherish what you have and live every moment to it's fullest. Like sitting at McDonalds the night we lost until midnight just sitting there talking to my friends, not wanting to leave but knowing we have to..

On another note football is coming to a close as well. We have a game tonight against Knoch and it could potentially be the last high school football ame that I kick in. That scares me because this is only my first year of kicking in varsity games consistently and it's something special. I honestly am not sure how much I like the sport of football. I like being apart of something though and that is what football offers me. It is truly a family, last night we watched the movie 127 Hours, pretty graphic, but after the movie four alumni came back and spoke to us. Two of those four have played in the NFL and one of them quit football while in college. The one that spoke to me the most was Coach Cooney when he told us that he called Coach Palks cring asking him if it was okay if he stopped playing. Not okay for him, okay for the program because he was scared that if any future player from West A wanted to go there that they wouldn't get a fair shot because of him quitting. The saddest thing to think about is that if I do play college football it won't be the same as high school, sure I still might be the last person to get dressed for everything and  I might still take crap for being a kicker, but I won't be able to look across the locker bay at Dalton or Bonjo. I won't be able to say stuff to D Flo or Jake Johnson. That shit is scary to think about.

All I really know about the end is that it is coming, it always will be. But I guess the real question is what will I do before it gets here? I hope I can answer that question with my actions, and I hope that answer is a positive one.

NP: Landslide by Fleetwood Mac, a.k.a the saddest song ever because what it reminds me of. It reminds me of all the senior soccer uys sitting in the locker room together and Travis saying, "Damn this is really happening." Who'd have thought the first serious thing that kid's ever said would hurt the most?