A Run I took...

While in Hilton Head this past Thanksgiving break I took a nice long  run on the beach, and I mentally wrote a poem after the run and after some deep thinking. So I thought I would share it with you all... whoever you are.

Boom, boom boom
     boom, boom boom. 
My heart beats fast as I run,
     but my mind is always faster.
I ache all over, from my head to my toes,
     but i know one thing for certain.
When the salt of my sweat
     meets the salt of the sea
           there is no room for the salt of my tears.

Thanks

       Thanksgiving is great, people talk about how thankful they are and they eat a shitload of food. What more can you ask for in a holiday? I'm thankful for a lot of things in my life, and I'm thankful for a lot of people in my life.
       Starting with family I am thankful for my sister. (Jen if you ever read this you can hold it over my head but i doubt you will.) I am truly thankful  for her though, as much as a bitch and complain and take on the overprotective big brother role i am proud of her. I'm also thankful for my mom and dad. For totally separate reasons... My mom is one of the smartest people i know and she has taught me the value of a good vocabulary and how much just reading a book can do for you. My dad is the reason i push myself in sports, I want to make him happy because i know how badly he wants me to excel. I am also thankful that my mom and dad are together and that my dad has given up drinking.
       I'm thankful for a lot of other family members also. All my aunts and uncles are amazing and i love them to death for different reasons. The same goes for my cousins. John, Jarrett, Maura, Joey, Emily, even Jack and Charlie. I love them all for various reasons. They have shaped me into who I am today and for that I am thankful.
       I also realize how blessed i am to have the friends I do. I guess I kind of have two sets of friends, the friends i hang out with on a daily basis and those who I talk to in school and never hang out with. Sure the two groups have different ideas of fun and different ideas of right and wrong, but I respect both equally. But my best friends are the onesI can have over my house to sleepover who run around in my basement playing NERF. I realize we probably sound like 2nd graders but it's what we do. I wouldn't trade those times for the world. While I'm at it i'd like to say I am thankful for inside jokes because they are the best kind of jokes.
       This blog is getting quite long so I will wrap it up by saying i am thankful for those people who make everyday a good day for me. The people who truly care and who take time out of their day to talk to me and just see how I am. Those are the best kind of people. Remember to tell the people you are thankful for that you love them.

NP: Set the Fire to the Third Bar-Snow Patrol

A Run on the Beach

I woke up this morning at 7:30 to run on the beach. (somewhat uncharacteristic of me, but it happened) I figure i ran for about four miles, okay to be honest I ran about 2 and walked the other 2. But what matters isn't the distance I traveled, it's what happened while i ran.

For the first time in a long time I cleared my mind, i thought about everything I needed to think about in that first half mile and for the next 3 and a half my mind was empty. I liked that. I liked not being worried about things. I was able to let my mind wander and i was able to really take in my surroundings. I saw a lot, and i felt a lot.

I saw families with young kids walking together on the beach. I saw what might have been the slowest game of fetch between a woman and her dog. (I actually grabbed the ball and threw it to the lady as I passed by because I saw the dog had other intentions and i thought the woman might never get there)

I did some serious thinking and self evaluating on the walk. i have made several conclusions about myself.
1. i am a thinker, and i think about things others just ignore.
2. i fear weakness, and the thought of being weak drives me.
3. i notice things, things i doubt others care to notice.
4. i like writing, both poetry and my everyday experiences.
5. i have a good family, a very very good family.
6. i have the best group of friends anyone could ask for.
7. as much as i say i don't care what people think, i really do care.
8. i like little kids, sounds creepy, but i miss being young and innocent

If you actualy made it through this post then thank you for taking the time out of your day to do so.

happy thanksgiving everyone

Music and a Little Writing

Music is something universal, something that can cheer you up or depress you depending what you're looking for. Writing is the same way. There is nothing better than laying down in bed at night with a pen and paper and headphones in. My IPod is filled with some of the strangest music combinations ever, I go from being in a Biggie mood to wanting some Jim Croce. New music, old music it doesn't matter. Every type of music serves a different purpose for me. getting ready before i football game I prefer some Eminem or the instrumental from Friday Night Lights. (Which by the way is called Your Hand  in Mine by Explosions in the Sky) Before bed i can listen to anything, but when i want to write before bed i throw on some slow, soft rock and let out what the day had done to me. I listen to music that my dad used to play on cassette tapes when we would go up to our cabin. The good old days is what it reminds me of. But now I can listen to the songs and really hear them for what they mean. i enjoy reading what songs are supposed to be about, or at least what it is speculated that they are about. Some music today is just soo bad. LIL WAYNE. What is he even writing about? I dont know maybe i am biased because i like some other music that is similar to his but I just can't stand Lil Wayne. Well I have ranted enough for today. Can't wait til tonight to write some poems and stuff. And If you were wondering what Trev and i have listened to this period it's a good playlist.

TREV AND TOM'S 8th PERIOD PLAYLIST FROM MEERKAT MANOR
Work Out-J Cole
Chillin-Wale
Daughters-John Mayer
Folsom Prison Blues-Johnny Cash
Attraction-B.O.B
Layla-Eric Clapton
Wake Me Up When September Ends- Green Day 
You'll Think of Me-Keith Urban
I'm Yours-Jason Mraz
You're So Vain-Carly Simon

This is the end, for you my friend...

Talking about the end is depressing but i need to get it out. Recently I have realized that a lot of things are coming to an end in my life. Last Thursday I played what would turn out to be my last hig school soccer game ever. Looking back, playing high school soccer was four of the best years of my life. I got a chance to play with my friends that I have played with since we were five years old playing at Argenta. I can remember back to those days when the biggest worry before the game was which side of our reversible jersey we were supposed to wear. Those friends from the team fill a place in my heart that no team or group can ever touch, it's kinda like the quote from The Perks of Being a Wallflower because in that moment when we lost and we were sitting in the locker room, we were "infinite." I texted all the senior guys after the loss and spilled my heart to them, the replies i got back made me smile. Most of them were thank yous and saying how much they enjoyed playing with me and enjoyed my joking around. One text though from a friend who I tought had no real emotions said "You've got a bright future ahead of you." That brought tears to my eyes because I am so scared of the future and what it might hold for me. But I hope my friend is right and that I do have a bright future ahead of me. The last thing i have to say about that is cherish what you have and live every moment to it's fullest. Like sitting at McDonalds the night we lost until midnight just sitting there talking to my friends, not wanting to leave but knowing we have to..

On another note football is coming to a close as well. We have a game tonight against Knoch and it could potentially be the last high school football ame that I kick in. That scares me because this is only my first year of kicking in varsity games consistently and it's something special. I honestly am not sure how much I like the sport of football. I like being apart of something though and that is what football offers me. It is truly a family, last night we watched the movie 127 Hours, pretty graphic, but after the movie four alumni came back and spoke to us. Two of those four have played in the NFL and one of them quit football while in college. The one that spoke to me the most was Coach Cooney when he told us that he called Coach Palks cring asking him if it was okay if he stopped playing. Not okay for him, okay for the program because he was scared that if any future player from West A wanted to go there that they wouldn't get a fair shot because of him quitting. The saddest thing to think about is that if I do play college football it won't be the same as high school, sure I still might be the last person to get dressed for everything and  I might still take crap for being a kicker, but I won't be able to look across the locker bay at Dalton or Bonjo. I won't be able to say stuff to D Flo or Jake Johnson. That shit is scary to think about.

All I really know about the end is that it is coming, it always will be. But I guess the real question is what will I do before it gets here? I hope I can answer that question with my actions, and I hope that answer is a positive one.

NP: Landslide by Fleetwood Mac, a.k.a the saddest song ever because what it reminds me of. It reminds me of all the senior soccer uys sitting in the locker room together and Travis saying, "Damn this is really happening." Who'd have thought the first serious thing that kid's ever said would hurt the most?