I remember a time I used to love to go shopping. Now, I dread shopping like the plague. It doesn't matter how bad I want something I refuse to buy it. Before I pick something up in the store I ask myself, Do I need this?" Somehow the answer is always no.
Dad not having a job has killed any desire to shop for myself. Our family simply doesn't have the money. I try to save the little bit of money I've made so that my mom doesn't have to give me money next year at college.
I'm not trying to whine or complain here, it's just the truth. The other truth is that I am going to come out of college with a disgusting amount of debt.
I guess that college is a necessary debt. Everyone I talk to seems to think it's going to pay off. I sure hope it does. The way Pap and Coach Palko talk a good paying job is just around the corner after I graduate college. Sadly, Pap still thinks I want to be an accountant. Truth be told I'm not sure what I want to be.
I don't want to be some CPA and sit crunching numbers for thirty years. I'd love to be a writer, but we all know that isn't the most prosperous field. I would like working with the CIA or FBI doing forensic accounting, but getting into that career would also be difficult. The last idea that sounds enticing is a comedian. Heck, I find myself to be pretty funny and so do most of my peers. That'd be a hell of a life, cracking jokes and making money from it. (Again, not the most practical.)
If there is one thing I've learned about money in the past four years it's that it really isn't everything. The Beatles said it best with their song "Can't Buy Me Love." It really can't. I've found the importance of money and I've learned to prioritize my spending. I could buy myself a shirt or some new shoes, or I could save my money for something more important...something like taking a pretty girl to lunch and to the movies. That is money well spent.
NP: Can't Buy Me Love- The Beatles
Saturday, June 30, 2012
Thursday, June 28, 2012
Pap's House
I'm just sitting on Pap's couch watching SportsCenter and I love this place. Pap's Oakland home has a very modern look in most of it. It's very spacious and even though it's in Oakland he has a decent backyard. Oakland is the kind of place I want to live when I get older. I like that there are so many places to walk and so much to do. Every Sunday my grandpa walks to St. Paul's Cathedral for church. You know I'm not big on church, but I like that he can walk almost anywhere he needs to go.
The best part of this house is the basement. The basement is where my grandpa's wine cellar is and is where you can find the remnants of Herbst Road. Herbst Road is the street where Pap and Nan lived for the majority of my childhood. The basement here has the couches from Herbst Road as well as some other artifacts that only family would recognize.
Artifacts like a rocking horse and little blue chairs that had each grandchild's name on it. Little toys that I played with, that my older cousins played with, that my little cousins still play with.
The sad thing is that my young cousins Jack and Charlie don't know where those toys came. They never knew Herbst Road, and they never knew their grandmother. They know Joyce though. So at least they have her. She treats them like her own and it's a beautiful thing to see.
It's just crazy how Jack is almost 10 but he never knew Nan. I wonder if Uncle Danny ever talks about her.
I wonder about a lot of things in this family.
NP: Best Day Ever- Mac Miller
The best part of this house is the basement. The basement is where my grandpa's wine cellar is and is where you can find the remnants of Herbst Road. Herbst Road is the street where Pap and Nan lived for the majority of my childhood. The basement here has the couches from Herbst Road as well as some other artifacts that only family would recognize.
Artifacts like a rocking horse and little blue chairs that had each grandchild's name on it. Little toys that I played with, that my older cousins played with, that my little cousins still play with.
The sad thing is that my young cousins Jack and Charlie don't know where those toys came. They never knew Herbst Road, and they never knew their grandmother. They know Joyce though. So at least they have her. She treats them like her own and it's a beautiful thing to see.
It's just crazy how Jack is almost 10 but he never knew Nan. I wonder if Uncle Danny ever talks about her.
I wonder about a lot of things in this family.
NP: Best Day Ever- Mac Miller
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
forgot to mention
I forgot to mention how the game went yesterday. It was crap. We lost 4 to 3 after getting screwed out of a run. I went 0 for 3 but I put the ball in play every time...small victory you know?
Thankfully that game meant nothing and today we get to play another game, a section game, a game that means something. I hope I show up and play as well as I know I can. I hate feeling like I've let my teammates down. Hell, I hate letting anybody down.
Searching for my first hit in a while...
Thankfully that game meant nothing and today we get to play another game, a section game, a game that means something. I hope I show up and play as well as I know I can. I hate feeling like I've let my teammates down. Hell, I hate letting anybody down.
Searching for my first hit in a while...
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
hard to say
Have you ever been a part of something that makes no sense at all and somehow its senselessness makes perfect sense?
I am.
I don't know where it started. I don't know how it started. I don't know when it started. I just know it started.
I can't explain it to you because I don't understand it. I don't feel the need to understand it though.
I've tried to put a date on it or an explanation to it, but there is no explanation or date. It's simply there.
It really boggles the mind. Then again, at 1:15 in the morning, not much does make sense.
What makes sense to me right now is do what makes you happy, keep those you love close, and don't ever be afraid of the end.
The end isn't something to be afraid of. Never beginning is the truly scary thing.
"If you prevent something from beginning then it cannot end, and if something cannot end it isn't something worth having at all."
Let it begin, let it grow, and if it has to, let it end. But promise me you will give it a chance.
NP: Forever and Always- Parachute
I am.
I don't know where it started. I don't know how it started. I don't know when it started. I just know it started.
I can't explain it to you because I don't understand it. I don't feel the need to understand it though.
I've tried to put a date on it or an explanation to it, but there is no explanation or date. It's simply there.
It really boggles the mind. Then again, at 1:15 in the morning, not much does make sense.
What makes sense to me right now is do what makes you happy, keep those you love close, and don't ever be afraid of the end.
The end isn't something to be afraid of. Never beginning is the truly scary thing.
"If you prevent something from beginning then it cannot end, and if something cannot end it isn't something worth having at all."
Let it begin, let it grow, and if it has to, let it end. But promise me you will give it a chance.
NP: Forever and Always- Parachute
Suiting Up
Today I'll swing a bat for the first time in over a month and a half. It'll be my first plate appearance since I ended my high school career by hitting into a double play. I'll get a chance to redeem myself, but sadly it won't really mean anything. Sure it'll be nice if i get a hit or two, but in all reality it's nothing like high school baseball. I won't have my school's jersey on. Instead, it'll be a travel team jersey. Hell yeah I'm excited to run back out into the outfield and chase down some fly balls, I just wish it was for my school.
At my grad party the other day I sat with Mr. Malone, Mikey O's grandpa, and reminisced about baseball memories. Memories like both tournaments in Erie. Like when JC gave up the monster walk-off home run to Erenberg.
Those talks brought up other memories. Memories of eighth and ninth grade baseball with Kropf. Of little league playing with a broken arm. Of our many O'Donnell, DiSanti, Forse dynasties. Memories of playing for Mr. Graziani in Findlay. It reminded me the course I traveled before becoming an outfielder.
The course from tee ball to high school baseball as far as positions you play is usually very similar for a lot of players (excluding lefties.) When you are little if you are athletic they put you in the infield, usually either second base or shortstop. Whenever the wonderful world of "stolen bases" enters the game athletes are moved to catcher. From there you can run the gauntlet. Either stay stuck at catcher, return to the middle infield, or in my case get sent to the outfield to run down fly balls. Most kids also get their fair share of pitching. (Luckily for me I always sucked at it.)
Standing out in the outfield today I'm sure I'll reminisce about the days I spent crouched down behind the plate or the times playing shortstop. I'll remember different catches I've made in the outfield. When I hear the crack of the bat against the ball a different instinct will kick in though. When the ball hits the bat the only thing I'm thinking about is catching the ball.
It's a nice feeling when you can truly hone in on one thing and put all your energy into it.
The last thought I'll have as I take off my spikes after today's game will be, "When is the next time I'll be putting these on?"
I'm not guaranteed another game.
Come to think of it, I'm not guaranteed anything.
I think I'm going to try to walk on to Fordham's team next year. I figure I have nothing to lose. The coach from LaRoche had asked me to come play center field for them at the end of our high school season but that wasn't for me.
Maybe I'll be a Ram baseball player next year...just maybe.
NP: Work Out- J Cole
At my grad party the other day I sat with Mr. Malone, Mikey O's grandpa, and reminisced about baseball memories. Memories like both tournaments in Erie. Like when JC gave up the monster walk-off home run to Erenberg.
Those talks brought up other memories. Memories of eighth and ninth grade baseball with Kropf. Of little league playing with a broken arm. Of our many O'Donnell, DiSanti, Forse dynasties. Memories of playing for Mr. Graziani in Findlay. It reminded me the course I traveled before becoming an outfielder.
The course from tee ball to high school baseball as far as positions you play is usually very similar for a lot of players (excluding lefties.) When you are little if you are athletic they put you in the infield, usually either second base or shortstop. Whenever the wonderful world of "stolen bases" enters the game athletes are moved to catcher. From there you can run the gauntlet. Either stay stuck at catcher, return to the middle infield, or in my case get sent to the outfield to run down fly balls. Most kids also get their fair share of pitching. (Luckily for me I always sucked at it.)
Standing out in the outfield today I'm sure I'll reminisce about the days I spent crouched down behind the plate or the times playing shortstop. I'll remember different catches I've made in the outfield. When I hear the crack of the bat against the ball a different instinct will kick in though. When the ball hits the bat the only thing I'm thinking about is catching the ball.
It's a nice feeling when you can truly hone in on one thing and put all your energy into it.
The last thought I'll have as I take off my spikes after today's game will be, "When is the next time I'll be putting these on?"
I'm not guaranteed another game.
Come to think of it, I'm not guaranteed anything.
I think I'm going to try to walk on to Fordham's team next year. I figure I have nothing to lose. The coach from LaRoche had asked me to come play center field for them at the end of our high school season but that wasn't for me.
Maybe I'll be a Ram baseball player next year...just maybe.
NP: Work Out- J Cole
Monday, June 25, 2012
it's not about the money, money, money
Yesterday I had my grad party and I won't go into the specifics of it, but I made a decent amount of money from it.
To me it isn't about the money. I would've had just as much fun if I made $500 as if I made $50,000. It's about the company that surrounded me yesterday. The only thing I like about the money is deciphering it. I like looking into where it came from.
I opened around forty cards yesterday. About half were filled with checks and half had straight cash. Checks come across as more professional, more white collar. Cash seems to be more blue collar.
You can see how the cash was earned by the shape it's in. Some cash was hard earned; rips, crumpled bills, and slight tears show the money has exchanged hands many times.
20s, 10s, and 5s are the most exchanged. They're the easiest to come by.
100s and 50s are most times very crisp bills.
Oftentimes you see the name on the card and wonder how they could afford to give as much as they did.
It isn't about whether the person gave a lot or a little relative to their income. It's the fact that they came and spent time with me on my day.
Family came from far and wide and friends made sure they stopped by. A select few that I didn't expect to see even showed up for a while. Some left and came back multiple times and others were there for the entirety. Different partygoers show different attitudes toward the graduate. Leaving and coming back shows they're there for you but have to stop other places. It shows they care enough to show you their loyalty and at the end of the day they want to be with you. Staying the whole time shows another sense of loyalty. They want you to know they're there for you and that they aren't leaving until the end. Some people never showed up.
Grad parties show you a lot about the friends you have. It also shows you a lot about how people earn their money and how easily they give it away. All in all my friends and family were very generous.
The best gifts weren't cash though. They were a picture frame, a movie, a coffee maker, and marbles.
Back to regular life now...
NP: If I Ruled The World- Nas
To me it isn't about the money. I would've had just as much fun if I made $500 as if I made $50,000. It's about the company that surrounded me yesterday. The only thing I like about the money is deciphering it. I like looking into where it came from.
I opened around forty cards yesterday. About half were filled with checks and half had straight cash. Checks come across as more professional, more white collar. Cash seems to be more blue collar.
You can see how the cash was earned by the shape it's in. Some cash was hard earned; rips, crumpled bills, and slight tears show the money has exchanged hands many times.
20s, 10s, and 5s are the most exchanged. They're the easiest to come by.
100s and 50s are most times very crisp bills.
Oftentimes you see the name on the card and wonder how they could afford to give as much as they did.
It isn't about whether the person gave a lot or a little relative to their income. It's the fact that they came and spent time with me on my day.
Family came from far and wide and friends made sure they stopped by. A select few that I didn't expect to see even showed up for a while. Some left and came back multiple times and others were there for the entirety. Different partygoers show different attitudes toward the graduate. Leaving and coming back shows they're there for you but have to stop other places. It shows they care enough to show you their loyalty and at the end of the day they want to be with you. Staying the whole time shows another sense of loyalty. They want you to know they're there for you and that they aren't leaving until the end. Some people never showed up.
Grad parties show you a lot about the friends you have. It also shows you a lot about how people earn their money and how easily they give it away. All in all my friends and family were very generous.
The best gifts weren't cash though. They were a picture frame, a movie, a coffee maker, and marbles.
Back to regular life now...
NP: If I Ruled The World- Nas
Sunday, June 24, 2012
That Guy
I like to think of myself as a reliable guy. I like getting random texts from friends asking for help on something. I like going out of my way to make sure a friend is okay.
I enjoy those responsibilities.
I like when people rely on me.
I just want to have people to rely on. I have a select few I can rely on for anything.
Some people are spotty though. That's alright, you just need to know how much to expect from each person.
And sadly there are people I would do anything for, people that wouldn't return the favor.
I'm okay with that though.
Sometimes pouring yourself into a situation where you aren't going to get anything back is needed. It's not a matter of reciprocation, it's a matter of being a good person and caring for someone.
Oftentimes I care too much.
Caring is what you have to do. Caring is key. Caring too much can never, ever be wrong.
That's how I feel at least.
Hey, I'm just trying to be that guy.
So help me out by doing this...
care endlessly
rely on me
let me rely on you
text me randomly just to chat
NP: Of The Soul- Mac Miller
I enjoy those responsibilities.
I like when people rely on me.
I just want to have people to rely on. I have a select few I can rely on for anything.
Some people are spotty though. That's alright, you just need to know how much to expect from each person.
And sadly there are people I would do anything for, people that wouldn't return the favor.
I'm okay with that though.
Sometimes pouring yourself into a situation where you aren't going to get anything back is needed. It's not a matter of reciprocation, it's a matter of being a good person and caring for someone.
Oftentimes I care too much.
Caring is what you have to do. Caring is key. Caring too much can never, ever be wrong.
That's how I feel at least.
Hey, I'm just trying to be that guy.
So help me out by doing this...
care endlessly
rely on me
let me rely on you
text me randomly just to chat
NP: Of The Soul- Mac Miller
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