It's been a while since I blogged last. Not sure why that is really. I can't claim to be too busy because that's anything but true. Sure, there's always something I could be studying, but how often am I doing exactly what I need to be doing? I'd venture to say it's a rare occurrence. I'm working on it though. I'm really good at pissing away time and then finding little periods of productivity. Like right now for instance. Just finished lifting and I have twenty minutes before intramural soccer so I figured I'd blog. I could be studying accounting, but...yeah, like I said, I'm working on my time management.
The purpose of this blog was to let everyone around me know how thankful I am for anything they've done for me.
Between classes, the Pi, and PCB I feel overwhelmed a lot of the time. Thankfully I have a lot of people around me to keep me grounded. I have the best group of friends in the world, and they make studying so much easier. I also have resources like my mom and Pap who help keep schoolwork under control and keep my head on my shoulders.
As far as the Pi goes I have another separate support system in place there. My initiate class keeps me motivated to go to events. When push comes to shove the Pi really isn't all that demanding. As long as I get my stuff done I'll be fine.
Really the most thanks I have is for the PCB guys. Even though our coach is only a few years older than me I respect the hell out of him for what he did. Fitz is one strong son of a bitch. Giving up the game he loves to put all his focus on coaching us. It takes a big person to do that. All the other guys on the team are just as important. I respect every last one of them and my biggest fear is letting one of them down. That's why I do my best to get to the gym every day and bust my ass at practice. While Fitz has done an incredible job planning practices and mediating everything I owe Cunliffe a big thanks. (And this isn't just to get the hoodie he promised me.) I've had a lot of coaches in my life but very few have approached helping me the way he has. He knows what he's talking about and he's taken the time recently to help me refine my game one on one. That means a lot since he's a player just like I am. It means even more since he won't be here next year. I'd love nothing more than to be able to help someone next year the way he's helped me.
I can't begin to think about all the seniors who won't be here next year. From PCB as well as other senior friends. But for now I won't think about that. Too much time left to think about it in a negative light.
I guess I'm thankful for more than just my usual friends, the PCBers, and the Pi people.
I'm thankful for all the new people in my life too.
The people who listen to me rant about my life, and the people who rant about theirs right back.
I've made some great, new friends this semester, and I hope they stick around.
I'm thankful today. And I will be again tomorrow. And everyday after that.
I'm thankful for baseball, poetry, and ice skating. The Olympics, Harper's Island, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, and a lot of other stuff too.
NP: Ashley- Big Sean ft. Miguel
Monday, February 17, 2014
Saturday, February 1, 2014
Early Sunday Morning
*we live in cities you never see on tv*
Sitting on a wood chair out on my fire escape I'm looking out.
Not at anything or anyone in particular.
Just looking, really.
Trying to figure out what everyone who walks past is thinking.
Boys with boys, girls with girls, and boys with girls.
Where are they all headed?
*I'm naughty by nature like a hip hop hooray*
Some seem to rush.
But others have nowhere to be.
And I guess that for them walking anywhere is better than sitting somewhere.
*are you gonna stay the night*
But I'm content right here.
Watching them all.
Seeing myself.
In the lone passerby.
And in the group.
And off in the distance where I can't see anything but streetlights and houses.
I'm there.
Under the streetlights.
In the houses.
*sippin on coke and rum I'm like so what I'm drunk*
And I think there's gotta someone just like me.
Sitting somewhere.
Thinking about everyone else.
Not realizing that maybe they should think about them self first.
*mother fucking animals*
Animals.
I guess that's it.
NP: the italics above
NP: the italics above
Week's Review
This week hasn't proven to be my best one of the year. It's been an all around pretty crappy week. Losing housing is up there at the very top of the list of worst things to happen. Luckily if that's the worst thing that happens to me in 2014 I'll have a damn good year.
I've just been thinking a lot about this perceived "rut" of mine. Truth be told I let some things bug me way too much. Things that aren't worth my time.
But I've also realized there are some things I cannot seem to avoid. I get a feeling a lot of the time when something new comes into my life that maybe it's something good. I feel like "maybe this is it, this is what it's all about." And then as time goes by I realize that it wasn't anything special. It was just another thing. Not to say that is a bad thing. Everything in my life means something to me. It's just that I'm looking for something with a little substance. I'm looking for something worthwhile.
And I haven't found it at the bottom of any shot glasses. Or in the crowds of people in my lecture halls. I'll catch a glimpse of what I perceive to be a worthwhile endeavor but soon enough it fades to nothingness.
It's out there though.
Just gotta keep looking.
NP: Alone Together- Fall Out Boy
And I haven't found it at the bottom of any shot glasses. Or in the crowds of people in my lecture halls. I'll catch a glimpse of what I perceive to be a worthwhile endeavor but soon enough it fades to nothingness.
It's out there though.
Just gotta keep looking.
NP: Alone Together- Fall Out Boy
Sunday, January 26, 2014
Date Party
So last night was the Pi's date party. I didn't have a date, but that isn't nearly as depressing as it sounds. I did have two semi-dates in Carla and Cindy (my fellow sober bros). All in all I would say the party was a success. Nobody got kicked out of Mi Ranch, everybody looked stunning in their dress clothes, and everybody seemed to be having a good time.
Being a sober bro wasn't nearly as bad as some people make it out to be. The plan is to be on my sober grind every weekend for the rest of the semester. There are plenty of reasons why, but I keep forgetting one of them when people ask.
When you're sober in a room full of drunk people your character is tested. Not in the egotistical sense that you're "too good" to drink, but rather in the sense that you're putting up with all these people who aren't necessarily in the right state of mind. Last night I got to be a wallflower again. I got to sit on my barstool and really take a long look at everything that was happening around me. I watched people dance and sing and I listened to them as they talked. It's shocking how much really goes on in one evening when you bring together fifty or sixty people.
I really didn't do much at the party, but I still enjoyed myself.
I don't mind looking out for everybody. It's kinda something I like doing, truth be told.
After date party was over I hung out with Cindy for a while and we just sat around talking about everything. (We planned to each do our own studying, but studying on a Saturday night after 10 PM is a bit far fetched.)
The more we talked the more I got to thinking about life down the road and about how much our past is present in that.
To really abandon your past you'd have to make some drastic decisions. It isn't likely that you can ever totally escape your past. And why would you? Your past, for the most part, is made up of decisions and actions you consciously made. As cliche as it sounds "Never regret anything because at one point it was exactly what you wanted." And that's true, as all cliches are. Our pasts are our pasts, certainly, but there are parts of our past that will always be with us.
Like the people we've hurt and the people we've loved. They're two opposite ends of the spectrum, but they're things we can't escape. Forgetting about someone you've loved is like forgetting your own name. You can't do it because it's become a part of you over time.
So I guess our past is our past, but to some degree it's also our present and future.
Last night was a reminder of that. A reminder that my past is still a large part of my life.
So, as I write this blog I'm also writing a letter. A letter to send to a part of my past, my present, and possibly my future.
The real problem is what to say and what not to say. Because when people or events overlap your past and your future you might say something but mean something else. As time goes by things change. Even the constants in your life have changed. Which means you have to choose your words carefully.
Oftentimes I say the right thing, at the wrong time, to the right person, and that gets me in trouble.
I'm just working on getting all three to line up.
NP: Say Something- A Great Big World
Being a sober bro wasn't nearly as bad as some people make it out to be. The plan is to be on my sober grind every weekend for the rest of the semester. There are plenty of reasons why, but I keep forgetting one of them when people ask.
When you're sober in a room full of drunk people your character is tested. Not in the egotistical sense that you're "too good" to drink, but rather in the sense that you're putting up with all these people who aren't necessarily in the right state of mind. Last night I got to be a wallflower again. I got to sit on my barstool and really take a long look at everything that was happening around me. I watched people dance and sing and I listened to them as they talked. It's shocking how much really goes on in one evening when you bring together fifty or sixty people.
I really didn't do much at the party, but I still enjoyed myself.
I don't mind looking out for everybody. It's kinda something I like doing, truth be told.
After date party was over I hung out with Cindy for a while and we just sat around talking about everything. (We planned to each do our own studying, but studying on a Saturday night after 10 PM is a bit far fetched.)
The more we talked the more I got to thinking about life down the road and about how much our past is present in that.
To really abandon your past you'd have to make some drastic decisions. It isn't likely that you can ever totally escape your past. And why would you? Your past, for the most part, is made up of decisions and actions you consciously made. As cliche as it sounds "Never regret anything because at one point it was exactly what you wanted." And that's true, as all cliches are. Our pasts are our pasts, certainly, but there are parts of our past that will always be with us.
Like the people we've hurt and the people we've loved. They're two opposite ends of the spectrum, but they're things we can't escape. Forgetting about someone you've loved is like forgetting your own name. You can't do it because it's become a part of you over time.
So I guess our past is our past, but to some degree it's also our present and future.
Last night was a reminder of that. A reminder that my past is still a large part of my life.
So, as I write this blog I'm also writing a letter. A letter to send to a part of my past, my present, and possibly my future.
The real problem is what to say and what not to say. Because when people or events overlap your past and your future you might say something but mean something else. As time goes by things change. Even the constants in your life have changed. Which means you have to choose your words carefully.
Oftentimes I say the right thing, at the wrong time, to the right person, and that gets me in trouble.
I'm just working on getting all three to line up.
NP: Say Something- A Great Big World
Monday, January 20, 2014
I just wanted to share a few of my favorite quotes from the last season of The Office with you guys. So here they are...
"Dwight, listen, no matter happens, you gotta forget about all the other stuff. You gotta forget about logic and fear and doubt. You just gotta do everything you can do get to the one woman who’s going to make all this worth it. At the end of the day, you gotta jump. You love Angela, Dwight. I think you always have."
"I think an ordinary paper company like Dunder-Mifflin was a great subject for a documentary. There's a lot of beauty in ordinary things. Isn't that kind of the point?"
"Love suffers long and is kind — it is not proud. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. Love never fails and now these three remain: Faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."
It isn't much to read, I know, but I figured something small was better than nothing at all.
NP: Are You Gonna Kiss Me Or Not- Thompson Square
"Dwight, listen, no matter happens, you gotta forget about all the other stuff. You gotta forget about logic and fear and doubt. You just gotta do everything you can do get to the one woman who’s going to make all this worth it. At the end of the day, you gotta jump. You love Angela, Dwight. I think you always have."
"I think an ordinary paper company like Dunder-Mifflin was a great subject for a documentary. There's a lot of beauty in ordinary things. Isn't that kind of the point?"
"Love suffers long and is kind — it is not proud. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. Love never fails and now these three remain: Faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."
It isn't much to read, I know, but I figured something small was better than nothing at all.
NP: Are You Gonna Kiss Me Or Not- Thompson Square
Thursday, January 9, 2014
The Office
I just finished the series finale of The Office, and it was something special. As much as I loved Scrubs I don't think it can match how much The Office meant to me. Admittedly there were times in seasons 7 and 8 where I felt like giving up on the show, but I am glad I pushed through it.
When I started watching The Office I didn't know what exactly it was about. I knew it was about a paper company in Scranton, but I was unaware it was supposed to be a documentary about the paper company. At first I thought it was just a sitcom like Scrubs. I was wrong.
And it wasn't until the last season that I realized how different The Office was.
There was something so unique about the way it was filmed. Having a TV series culminate with the characters watching a documentary about their own lives? How can you top that?
It was well planned out from the start. And as if the brilliant writing wasn't enough The Office crafted some of the most memorable characters in television history. Pam, Jim, Dwight, Angela, Toby, Kelly, Ryan, Andy, Oscar, Kevin, Phyllis, Stanley, Pete, Erin, Clark, Meredith, Creed, and of course Michael Scott.
Each character represented something totally different but they represented something real. Whether it was the nitwit, the stuck up lady, the drunk, the hopeless romantic, the receptionist, the strange old man, or the lonely boss I fell in love with the TV show.
I can't explain exactly what it is about the show that makes it so great. I honestly think you need to watch it all yourself. Or watch it with a friend. Or a loved one.
After finishing I stopped for a second and thought to myself, "What if there was a camera crew following me around making a documentary?"
That was a scary but puzzling question.
Would I like what that DVD showed me?
Like The Office it would have its ups and downs. It would have its plot twists and it would have its awkward moments. But at its very core I think it would be optimistic, just like The Office was.
I figure I spent around 90 hours of my life watching The Office. I watched every single episode by myself. And thinking back to the question I asked myself earlier about my life as a documentary I though, "Wasn't that a waste of time? Couldn't you have been reading or watching with someone at the very least?"
And the answer to both those questions is no. Mainly because I wasn't alone.
I had everyone on the show.
Any good show makes you feel like you're a part of that show. So when it ends you feel a little lost and confused. You're left wondering how people you've never met can abandon you.
But the great thing about TV is that at the end of the day it's just make believe. The Office is a scripted TV show.
A scripted TV show that showed everyone that just because you're stuck in one place doesn't mean your life can't be something special.
The show, more than anything, showed me that maybe it isn't about having the most flashy job or flashy title in the world. Maybe, instead, it's about surrounding yourself with the most genuine people you can find. Because if you can find people who express their true self day in and day out you're likely to do the same thing. And in turn you'll live a much happier, richer life.
So maybe a desk at an office in Northeast PA doesn't sound like your cup of tea. But what if I told you that your future wife would be sitting five feet away? Or that your best friend would be your coworker? Or if I told you that your coworkers wouldn't be your coworkers rather they'd be your family? What if I told you that the group of people you worked with would show you every emotion possible?
Would you go then?
I would. Purely based on the fact I'd get to see so much emotion.
The Office was wonderful because you got to watch about a dozen people interact in medium sized office. The people there were all different, were all good, and were all real. In the microcosm that was their office you got to see the idiosyncrasies of normal people. You felt like you were there with Jim when he's staring, enamored at Pam. There for one of Creed's out of left field comments. But even though you were allowed in on this very intimate thing the show did a good job of having boundaries. The best example would be Michael's departure. The moment he and Pam share is one that Jenna Fischer (the actress who plays Pam) said will always be a special moment to her. I know it'll always be special to me.
So now I'll leave you with a quote from Creed that touched me more than anything I've heard in quite some time.
"No matter how you get there or where you end up, human beings have this miraculous gift to make that place home."
NP: The Office Intro
When I started watching The Office I didn't know what exactly it was about. I knew it was about a paper company in Scranton, but I was unaware it was supposed to be a documentary about the paper company. At first I thought it was just a sitcom like Scrubs. I was wrong.
And it wasn't until the last season that I realized how different The Office was.
There was something so unique about the way it was filmed. Having a TV series culminate with the characters watching a documentary about their own lives? How can you top that?
It was well planned out from the start. And as if the brilliant writing wasn't enough The Office crafted some of the most memorable characters in television history. Pam, Jim, Dwight, Angela, Toby, Kelly, Ryan, Andy, Oscar, Kevin, Phyllis, Stanley, Pete, Erin, Clark, Meredith, Creed, and of course Michael Scott.
Each character represented something totally different but they represented something real. Whether it was the nitwit, the stuck up lady, the drunk, the hopeless romantic, the receptionist, the strange old man, or the lonely boss I fell in love with the TV show.
I can't explain exactly what it is about the show that makes it so great. I honestly think you need to watch it all yourself. Or watch it with a friend. Or a loved one.
After finishing I stopped for a second and thought to myself, "What if there was a camera crew following me around making a documentary?"
That was a scary but puzzling question.
Would I like what that DVD showed me?
Like The Office it would have its ups and downs. It would have its plot twists and it would have its awkward moments. But at its very core I think it would be optimistic, just like The Office was.
I figure I spent around 90 hours of my life watching The Office. I watched every single episode by myself. And thinking back to the question I asked myself earlier about my life as a documentary I though, "Wasn't that a waste of time? Couldn't you have been reading or watching with someone at the very least?"
And the answer to both those questions is no. Mainly because I wasn't alone.
I had everyone on the show.
Any good show makes you feel like you're a part of that show. So when it ends you feel a little lost and confused. You're left wondering how people you've never met can abandon you.
But the great thing about TV is that at the end of the day it's just make believe. The Office is a scripted TV show.
A scripted TV show that showed everyone that just because you're stuck in one place doesn't mean your life can't be something special.
The show, more than anything, showed me that maybe it isn't about having the most flashy job or flashy title in the world. Maybe, instead, it's about surrounding yourself with the most genuine people you can find. Because if you can find people who express their true self day in and day out you're likely to do the same thing. And in turn you'll live a much happier, richer life.
So maybe a desk at an office in Northeast PA doesn't sound like your cup of tea. But what if I told you that your future wife would be sitting five feet away? Or that your best friend would be your coworker? Or if I told you that your coworkers wouldn't be your coworkers rather they'd be your family? What if I told you that the group of people you worked with would show you every emotion possible?
Would you go then?
I would. Purely based on the fact I'd get to see so much emotion.
The Office was wonderful because you got to watch about a dozen people interact in medium sized office. The people there were all different, were all good, and were all real. In the microcosm that was their office you got to see the idiosyncrasies of normal people. You felt like you were there with Jim when he's staring, enamored at Pam. There for one of Creed's out of left field comments. But even though you were allowed in on this very intimate thing the show did a good job of having boundaries. The best example would be Michael's departure. The moment he and Pam share is one that Jenna Fischer (the actress who plays Pam) said will always be a special moment to her. I know it'll always be special to me.
So now I'll leave you with a quote from Creed that touched me more than anything I've heard in quite some time.
"No matter how you get there or where you end up, human beings have this miraculous gift to make that place home."
NP: The Office Intro
Second Semester-Second Year
So I am back at Pitt for the second half of my Sophomore year. The semester is young, but I am expecting a lot out of it. I have at least one friend in every class and more than one in most of them. My schedule is tough, but I believe I'm ready for it.
Winter break was much needed. I spent most of my time spent laying around, watching Netflix, or hanging with my friends and family. I got to spend a lot of time with my friends which is always a blast. The other day Cindy asked me, "Do you think you can have a soulmate in a nonromantic way?" And after thinking about it for a while I told her that I suppose you can. My nonromantic soulmates are my six best friends from high school. They're the people I plan on keeping around for the rest of my life.
In addition to those friends I have another one. Greg. Who over break decided he was going to transfer to Penn State.
Losing Greg is a real kick in the gut. It sucks. The kid helped me through a lot, and him and I made some memories I will never forget. Although he's not the most affectionate guy he did admit to me once that I was the best friend he ever had. And he knows he's one of mine. I'm going to miss Greg like crazy. Hell, everyone here at Pitt who knew Greg is going to miss him like crazy. He's just a fun guy to be around. A guy that people tend to feed off of. Despite how much I love the kid when he asked me what I thought he should do (go or stay) I told him he needed to go. And believe me, that sucked. But over time I've learned that you can't hold on to things that believe they should be somewhere else. Greg believed he belonged at State College, and I wasn't about to argue with him. I wanted him to do what was best for him in the long run and I truly think Penn State is what's best for him. Greg wants to make money and petroleum engineers make a lot of money. So I told him he should go.
It's weird you know, telling someone to go, all the while wishing they would stay.
But Greg is gone and Dave is gone (for now). So this semester will be a learning experience. I can tell I'm going to get closer to guys like Jeff, Nick, and Zach. Probably even closer to Jared. Only time will tell I suppose.
(On a side note I'm almost done with the entire series "The Office")
I just finished an episode and this quote was in it. I love it.
"Love suffers long and is kind — it is not proud. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. Love never fails and now these three remain: Faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”
NP: Alone Together- Fall Out Boy
Winter break was much needed. I spent most of my time spent laying around, watching Netflix, or hanging with my friends and family. I got to spend a lot of time with my friends which is always a blast. The other day Cindy asked me, "Do you think you can have a soulmate in a nonromantic way?" And after thinking about it for a while I told her that I suppose you can. My nonromantic soulmates are my six best friends from high school. They're the people I plan on keeping around for the rest of my life.
In addition to those friends I have another one. Greg. Who over break decided he was going to transfer to Penn State.
Losing Greg is a real kick in the gut. It sucks. The kid helped me through a lot, and him and I made some memories I will never forget. Although he's not the most affectionate guy he did admit to me once that I was the best friend he ever had. And he knows he's one of mine. I'm going to miss Greg like crazy. Hell, everyone here at Pitt who knew Greg is going to miss him like crazy. He's just a fun guy to be around. A guy that people tend to feed off of. Despite how much I love the kid when he asked me what I thought he should do (go or stay) I told him he needed to go. And believe me, that sucked. But over time I've learned that you can't hold on to things that believe they should be somewhere else. Greg believed he belonged at State College, and I wasn't about to argue with him. I wanted him to do what was best for him in the long run and I truly think Penn State is what's best for him. Greg wants to make money and petroleum engineers make a lot of money. So I told him he should go.
It's weird you know, telling someone to go, all the while wishing they would stay.
But Greg is gone and Dave is gone (for now). So this semester will be a learning experience. I can tell I'm going to get closer to guys like Jeff, Nick, and Zach. Probably even closer to Jared. Only time will tell I suppose.
(On a side note I'm almost done with the entire series "The Office")
I just finished an episode and this quote was in it. I love it.
"Love suffers long and is kind — it is not proud. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. Love never fails and now these three remain: Faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”
NP: Alone Together- Fall Out Boy
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