Tuesday, March 26, 2013
friendship in three lines
“Sometimes being a friend means mastering the art of timing. There is a time for silence. A time to let go and allow people to hurl themselves into their own destiny. And a time to prepare to pick up the pieces when it’s all over.”
-Gloria Naylor
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
random poetry
If you make her smile she might just stay,
and if she laughs she might just play,
but when she plays she does not note,
the fact that you've prepared her coat,
because she doesn't plan to stay,
because you think she'll go away,
and if she turns with a gleam in her eye,
turn her toward the wayward sky.
Just know that you are not to blame,
this thing you did bears no shame,
you freed a soul not made to rest,
you saw the light, you passed the test.
and if she laughs she might just play,
but when she plays she does not note,
the fact that you've prepared her coat,
because she doesn't plan to stay,
because you think she'll go away,
and if she turns with a gleam in her eye,
turn her toward the wayward sky.
Just know that you are not to blame,
this thing you did bears no shame,
you freed a soul not made to rest,
you saw the light, you passed the test.
said you must be a hero
So I'm going to assume you've all seen the Batman movies and understand the reference to this quote from The Dark Knight.
Commissioner Gordon said it best when speaking to his son, "Because he's the hero Gotham deserves, but not the one it needs right now."
We all, at some point or another, deserve a hero. Just like at some point we will all need a hero. Oftentimes the hero we deserve is the one we need and other times it doesn't work quite like that. Sometimes we deserve a hero, but that hero won't show up. Sometimes, we have to be our own hero.
Gotham deserved Batman as their hero, but what they needed was something different. More often than not when we find ourselves down and out the hero we need is us, but we deserve much more. We deserve to be brought up by whatever force sent us down, but that isn't always the case. If our heroes always came to help us rise up I don't think we'd have fallen in the first place.
The trouble is, being your own hero is a tall task.
My dad wanted to be his own hero when he had fallen. He was the one who had put himself there and he wanted to be his own hero, and maybe he even deserved to be his own hero. The hero he needed was someone much different than he. The hero he needed was my mom. He deserved to be his own hero but he needed my mom to help him become his own hero. And when the dust had settled and the months had passed, he was the hero.
Our heroes won't come in shining armor and they won't always be suave and handsome. Sometimes the hero is that kid looking back in the mirror.
When you see yourself you should see a hero of sorts. You should look at yourself and realize that when you are at your lowest point, you'll find that hero.
Everybody has a hero and everybody will get that hero when their time comes. I believe firmly in that.
NP: She Will Be Loved- Maroon 5
Commissioner Gordon said it best when speaking to his son, "Because he's the hero Gotham deserves, but not the one it needs right now."
We all, at some point or another, deserve a hero. Just like at some point we will all need a hero. Oftentimes the hero we deserve is the one we need and other times it doesn't work quite like that. Sometimes we deserve a hero, but that hero won't show up. Sometimes, we have to be our own hero.
Gotham deserved Batman as their hero, but what they needed was something different. More often than not when we find ourselves down and out the hero we need is us, but we deserve much more. We deserve to be brought up by whatever force sent us down, but that isn't always the case. If our heroes always came to help us rise up I don't think we'd have fallen in the first place.
The trouble is, being your own hero is a tall task.
My dad wanted to be his own hero when he had fallen. He was the one who had put himself there and he wanted to be his own hero, and maybe he even deserved to be his own hero. The hero he needed was someone much different than he. The hero he needed was my mom. He deserved to be his own hero but he needed my mom to help him become his own hero. And when the dust had settled and the months had passed, he was the hero.
Our heroes won't come in shining armor and they won't always be suave and handsome. Sometimes the hero is that kid looking back in the mirror.
When you see yourself you should see a hero of sorts. You should look at yourself and realize that when you are at your lowest point, you'll find that hero.
Everybody has a hero and everybody will get that hero when their time comes. I believe firmly in that.
NP: She Will Be Loved- Maroon 5
Monday, March 18, 2013
my favorite quote from any book, ever
“Love is never any better than the lover. Wicked people love wickedly, violent people love violently, weak people love weakly, stupid people love stupidly, but the love of a free man is never safe.”
-Toni Morrison
pain
I'm sitting in Drugs and Behavior listening to our TA rant about pain and how it is experienced. She's talking about how pain is subjective.
So that means each person experiences pain differently than everyone else.
I guess that's right.
I feel like most physical pain is pretty much the same, though. We all are made up of these different neurons and pathways that carry pain signals to and from the spinal cord.
When I scrape my knee isn't it pretty much the same as when you scrape yours? Isn't the pain there regardless of how much we complain?
Maybe I'm wrong. I probably am. I'm obviously not paying much attention to what she's saying.
I'm just looking for an escape. This week of classes is going to be rough. Not due to an abundance of exams, rather because my motivation and focus are lost somewhere in limbo.
In other news I had a good weekend in Akron with Ethan, Jared, and Straka. I had a ton of laughs and shared some unforgettable times with some of my best friends.
Driving home with Straka we talked a lot about college and life in general. We talked about girls, about grades, and about stupid tolls.
We both agree that college is a sort of "3 steps forward, 2 steps back" type of thing. We take three steps forward as far as "useful" knowledge, but we take 2 MAJOR steps backward in terms of financial setbacks.
We talked about how things change from high school to college and how for many of us, college doesn't meet expectations because our senior year was so damn close to perfect.
College isn't bad. But I think that finding the right fit is more difficult than some people think. I, myself, have found this to be especially true. I'm happy here, but I feel like it isn't where I was meant to end up. It just seems like there is more to be had.
I'm sure I'll figure it all out in time. I'm not too worried about it...
A little less than a month and a half until summer and God only knows what summer has in store for me. Hopefully it is something unpredictable and beautiful.
I'm ready for some unpredictability and beauty.
Holy shit, unpredictability is a word. Awesome.
NP: Skinny Love- Bon Iver
So that means each person experiences pain differently than everyone else.
I guess that's right.
I feel like most physical pain is pretty much the same, though. We all are made up of these different neurons and pathways that carry pain signals to and from the spinal cord.
When I scrape my knee isn't it pretty much the same as when you scrape yours? Isn't the pain there regardless of how much we complain?
Maybe I'm wrong. I probably am. I'm obviously not paying much attention to what she's saying.
I'm just looking for an escape. This week of classes is going to be rough. Not due to an abundance of exams, rather because my motivation and focus are lost somewhere in limbo.
In other news I had a good weekend in Akron with Ethan, Jared, and Straka. I had a ton of laughs and shared some unforgettable times with some of my best friends.
Driving home with Straka we talked a lot about college and life in general. We talked about girls, about grades, and about stupid tolls.
We both agree that college is a sort of "3 steps forward, 2 steps back" type of thing. We take three steps forward as far as "useful" knowledge, but we take 2 MAJOR steps backward in terms of financial setbacks.
We talked about how things change from high school to college and how for many of us, college doesn't meet expectations because our senior year was so damn close to perfect.
College isn't bad. But I think that finding the right fit is more difficult than some people think. I, myself, have found this to be especially true. I'm happy here, but I feel like it isn't where I was meant to end up. It just seems like there is more to be had.
I'm sure I'll figure it all out in time. I'm not too worried about it...
A little less than a month and a half until summer and God only knows what summer has in store for me. Hopefully it is something unpredictable and beautiful.
I'm ready for some unpredictability and beauty.
Holy shit, unpredictability is a word. Awesome.
NP: Skinny Love- Bon Iver
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
are you willing?
For the third night in a row I hung out with some of my best friends. You see I could hang out with them every single night and I doubt I'd ever want to leave their sides.
I've come to realize that my six best friends are basically my family. I talk to almost all of them every single day, I see them as much as I can, and I tell them I love them much like I do my own family.
The difference between these friends and any other, average friend is that I'd be willing to go to war for this group.
The phrase I've grown up with is, "Would you go to bat for them?"
That means in times of trouble or when they really need you are you willing to step up and help them out.
I can honestly say that I would do anything for my best friends. If someone hurt one of my best friends I'd find the poor bastard who did it and I'd go to war for my friend. Even if I was outmanned or undersized I'd go to bat for them. Even if it meant getting my ass kicked or humiliated I would do it.
You see there is no amount of humiliation that could ever sting as bad as letting down a friend. Disappointment hurts worse than any physical pain ever will.
Because at the end of the day, when push comes to shove, my best friends are the ones who push me and my best friends are the ones who make me wish each day would never end.
NP: Count On Me- Bruno Mars
I've come to realize that my six best friends are basically my family. I talk to almost all of them every single day, I see them as much as I can, and I tell them I love them much like I do my own family.
The difference between these friends and any other, average friend is that I'd be willing to go to war for this group.
The phrase I've grown up with is, "Would you go to bat for them?"
That means in times of trouble or when they really need you are you willing to step up and help them out.
I can honestly say that I would do anything for my best friends. If someone hurt one of my best friends I'd find the poor bastard who did it and I'd go to war for my friend. Even if I was outmanned or undersized I'd go to bat for them. Even if it meant getting my ass kicked or humiliated I would do it.
You see there is no amount of humiliation that could ever sting as bad as letting down a friend. Disappointment hurts worse than any physical pain ever will.
Because at the end of the day, when push comes to shove, my best friends are the ones who push me and my best friends are the ones who make me wish each day would never end.
NP: Count On Me- Bruno Mars
Monday, March 11, 2013
long, windy, dark roads
This past evening I went on a long ride with two of my best friends. We sat and sang and listened to some music as we braved the night. As we drove my mind whirled about where I'm at, where I've been, and where I'm going.
One friend kept explaining that I seemed a bit down and out of it. I'm not really sure what the problem is or if there even is a problem. More than likely the problem lies within.
I'm doing well all things considered and this break is much needed.
One thing that ran through my head while driving around is that certain drives are ones you'd wish would never end and others are ones you wish had never started. Oftentimes the drive is to and from the same place, but the difference between longing for it to end and wishing it never would deals with tension. There was no tension in the van tonight. There wasn't a single feeling of discomfort.
After we three returned I got in my car and decided I wasn't ready for my night to end just yet.
As I pulled out of my neighborhood I made a turn I've made hundreds of times before. I travelled down a road I know by heart by now. I drove that road because there are certain roads in your lifetime that are meant to be travelled under the cover of dark.
You'll find a road that you travel exclusively under one set of circumstances.
While the road can be travelled during the day you are more accustomed to it in the wee hours of morning. You're used to speeding down the road feeling either a sense of happiness or a yearning for certainty. Rarely do you take that road and feel anything besides those two emotions.
Something as seemingly meaningless as a road holds such strong ties because at the end of the road, or somewhere along it, lies a memory. Memories cling to the things that surround it, to the things that make the memory exactly what it is.
Eventually the road will lose its allure, as any old road does, and when you've come to terms with it you wonder how one road could have ever meant so much.
It isn't the road that changes, but what the road stands for.
NP: Fix You- Coldplay
One friend kept explaining that I seemed a bit down and out of it. I'm not really sure what the problem is or if there even is a problem. More than likely the problem lies within.
I'm doing well all things considered and this break is much needed.
One thing that ran through my head while driving around is that certain drives are ones you'd wish would never end and others are ones you wish had never started. Oftentimes the drive is to and from the same place, but the difference between longing for it to end and wishing it never would deals with tension. There was no tension in the van tonight. There wasn't a single feeling of discomfort.
After we three returned I got in my car and decided I wasn't ready for my night to end just yet.
As I pulled out of my neighborhood I made a turn I've made hundreds of times before. I travelled down a road I know by heart by now. I drove that road because there are certain roads in your lifetime that are meant to be travelled under the cover of dark.
You'll find a road that you travel exclusively under one set of circumstances.
While the road can be travelled during the day you are more accustomed to it in the wee hours of morning. You're used to speeding down the road feeling either a sense of happiness or a yearning for certainty. Rarely do you take that road and feel anything besides those two emotions.
Something as seemingly meaningless as a road holds such strong ties because at the end of the road, or somewhere along it, lies a memory. Memories cling to the things that surround it, to the things that make the memory exactly what it is.
Eventually the road will lose its allure, as any old road does, and when you've come to terms with it you wonder how one road could have ever meant so much.
It isn't the road that changes, but what the road stands for.
NP: Fix You- Coldplay
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