Today was already my second Friday at school. It's insane how fast my days go by here. If you were wondering I am absolutely loving school. I don't wake up and feel sick to my stomach, I don't dread seeing my roommate, and I don't count down the days til I come home. Instead I find something to do every single day. I find something to look forward to even on down days. Whether it's going to work out and run with Dave or just sitting in my room talking with Greg.
Greg's a great guy. (Greg is my roommate if you were wondering.) He's from close State College in what he calls "the sticks". It's his first semester here and actually his first semester anywhere. He was in basic training before starting this semester. I've hung out more with Greg this semester than I did with Richie all last semester.
So far my Pitt experience has been exactly what I thought college was supposed to be. I'm slowly meeting new people and I never feel alone. How could I with two of my best friends here? We start intramural soccer soon which is really exciting to someone who hasn't played an organized sport in months.
Classes aren't bad. Drugs and Behavior has a lot of biology stuff in it which worries me, but I guess it's mostly just memorization...need to get my hands on some notecards ASAP. That and Calc will probably be my two hardest classes.
Anyway, as for the title of the blog. After classes today I went and met Jordan, Anna, and Jordan's friend Alexis for dinner. We just ate at a little place on Forbes and went to get coffee afterwards. It was really nice seeing Anna and Jordan. I've known those girls for a long, long time and we've had our fair share of laughs over the years. They asked how school was and how my family was and how Ashley was. All of which are good. Anna goes to Clarion, which is more towards the cabin than it is towards home, but Jordan is only a quarter mile away at Carlow studying nursing.
We sat at Joe Mama's and talked for about an hour and a half. Our conversations included talks about college, memories from high school, and everything in between. Jordan and Anna haven't changed a bit. Still the best of friends who love to get after each other. They fight and love like sisters. It was nice seeing them and catching up.
You see, to me there isn't anything wrong with keeping friends from high school. There isn't anything wrong with keeping in touch and staying close to people you want to stay close with. There's nothing wrong with catching up but there might be something wrong with going back. Catching up and going back are totally different things. You can talk about high school without being pulled back into it, without longing to be back.
I can keep old friends but move forward, it isn't that hard, I've done it thus far. The coolest part about keeping old friends is that you can still make new ones. Done that too. Those new friends told me they're going to come visit. Kaitlin and Caroline promised they'd make a trip to Pittsburgh to see me and I told them I'd come see them at good old Fordham.
I've moved on from high school. I look back from time to time to reminisce and remember. People love tweeting this cliche saying, "The only time you should be looking back is to see how far you've come." I look back and see how far I've come but I also look back to learn. You can learn a lot from your past. It's quite possibly the best teacher you'll ever have. It's up to you to decide what to keep from your past. Keep only what makes you stronger, makes you a better person, and what makes you smile. The rest doesn't belong in your life.
Looking back through this blog I see all the different songs I had playing to represent different people. Certain songs I wouldn't listen to because they reminded me of a time, or of a person, or of something that happened, but I'm realizing you don't have to skip over those songs. In fact, it's better to take a listen and find the words in it that you missed the first time. The lyrics that used represent something one thing can have a whole new meaning to you. It's a way of falling in love with a song you had lost all feelings for.
You can't just skip the things that have shaped you into who you are. You have to play them over and over again until you remember how you came to be you.
Like always I'm trying to be more philosophical than I actually am. Time to go do something else, like read for class. Sounds good to me.
Until next time.
NP: Sweet Nothing- Calvin Harris ft. Florence Welch
Friday, January 18, 2013
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
if you do it right you'll only have to do it once
Sure this title could apply to a lot of things, but I will choose to focus in on one aspect of it. Marriage.
There are some shocking statistics out there about divorce rates in America. (When I say shocking I mean it in the sense of shockingly sad not like an electrical shock.) Is it that more and more people aren't falling all the way in love or that they're falling out of love?
The statistics say that 50% of first marriages, 67% of second marriages, and 74% of third marriages end in divorce. (Third time isn't the charm.) What that shows me is that people aren't falling in love, or rather their sense of being in love is skewed from what I think love is. I just don't see how someone could "fall out of love" three marriages in a row. Okay sure there are other possibilities (cheating, spouse was never in love, etc.) but I think you'd have to be a complete jackass to have three picks at a wife and not be able to pick the right one. To me that shows that some people will never be happy with just one person.
So what is America's problem? Are people marrying too young? Is marriage not as sacred as it used to be? Or is it something more complicated and deeper rooted than that?
Does a ring on the finger not mean what it used to?
I don't have an answer to any of these questions, but I'll tell you something I do know. Whenever I meet a new person the first place my eyes wander is to their left ring finger. I like to see if they have a wedding ring. I take mental notes of it and often think about it.
Just to show you I'm being serious here's some insight. My calc professor is married but she doesn't have a wedding ring. She's talked about her husband in class so I know he exists. Interesting that she doesn't wear a ring though, right? My economics professor is married. I saw that right away when she was using the overhead the other day during lecture. She's got a big ass rock on that thing too, well played. My literature professor is married. Saw her ring today. It was reassuring because she's young and has an infant son. My psych professor is married and speaks often about her daughters. Ring: check. Finally, in drugs and behavior I'm not sure. No ring, but as my calc professor proves you don't have to wear a ring to be married. Also, my calc TA is married. The guy can't be older than 25, good for him.
83.33% of my professors are married. I feel like that's a pretty good percentage.
I guess what I'm saying is that just because statistics aren't in your favor doesn't mean that marriage and true love don't exist. I know there are 1,000,000 things that can change in a course of a relationship and alter that once perfect relationship. Granted, when you say "I do" you have no idea what lies ahead. The thing is, you can't be afraid of those million things that could happen. When you kiss your bride at the alter you shouldn't be thinking any farther ahead than the dancing that awaits you and your imminent embarrassment from a lack of "rhythm".
Marriage is supposed to be the start of a life together with special someone. It isn't a statistic, it isn't a part time thing, and it isn't doomed. There's a lot of love out there and I think that everybody can find somebody to love forever. Maybe not on the level of "soulmate" but if they can make you laugh, make you smile, and make you feel okay when you aren't why not spend forever with them?
Marriage is still alive and if you do it right you'll only have to do it once.
That's my plan. One and done.
There are some shocking statistics out there about divorce rates in America. (When I say shocking I mean it in the sense of shockingly sad not like an electrical shock.) Is it that more and more people aren't falling all the way in love or that they're falling out of love?
The statistics say that 50% of first marriages, 67% of second marriages, and 74% of third marriages end in divorce. (Third time isn't the charm.) What that shows me is that people aren't falling in love, or rather their sense of being in love is skewed from what I think love is. I just don't see how someone could "fall out of love" three marriages in a row. Okay sure there are other possibilities (cheating, spouse was never in love, etc.) but I think you'd have to be a complete jackass to have three picks at a wife and not be able to pick the right one. To me that shows that some people will never be happy with just one person.
So what is America's problem? Are people marrying too young? Is marriage not as sacred as it used to be? Or is it something more complicated and deeper rooted than that?
Does a ring on the finger not mean what it used to?
I don't have an answer to any of these questions, but I'll tell you something I do know. Whenever I meet a new person the first place my eyes wander is to their left ring finger. I like to see if they have a wedding ring. I take mental notes of it and often think about it.
Just to show you I'm being serious here's some insight. My calc professor is married but she doesn't have a wedding ring. She's talked about her husband in class so I know he exists. Interesting that she doesn't wear a ring though, right? My economics professor is married. I saw that right away when she was using the overhead the other day during lecture. She's got a big ass rock on that thing too, well played. My literature professor is married. Saw her ring today. It was reassuring because she's young and has an infant son. My psych professor is married and speaks often about her daughters. Ring: check. Finally, in drugs and behavior I'm not sure. No ring, but as my calc professor proves you don't have to wear a ring to be married. Also, my calc TA is married. The guy can't be older than 25, good for him.
83.33% of my professors are married. I feel like that's a pretty good percentage.
I guess what I'm saying is that just because statistics aren't in your favor doesn't mean that marriage and true love don't exist. I know there are 1,000,000 things that can change in a course of a relationship and alter that once perfect relationship. Granted, when you say "I do" you have no idea what lies ahead. The thing is, you can't be afraid of those million things that could happen. When you kiss your bride at the alter you shouldn't be thinking any farther ahead than the dancing that awaits you and your imminent embarrassment from a lack of "rhythm".
Marriage is supposed to be the start of a life together with special someone. It isn't a statistic, it isn't a part time thing, and it isn't doomed. There's a lot of love out there and I think that everybody can find somebody to love forever. Maybe not on the level of "soulmate" but if they can make you laugh, make you smile, and make you feel okay when you aren't why not spend forever with them?
Marriage is still alive and if you do it right you'll only have to do it once.
That's my plan. One and done.
Sunday, January 13, 2013
tell all
It's almost midnight on my second Sunday here at school. I feel weird. I don't quite belong yet. In time I will, but right now I'm still an outsider trying to work my way in. Classes aren't in full swing yet and I'm getting a hang of my schedule and where things are.
Right now I'm not particularly tired so I'll give you guys and girls something worth reading. I'll give you everything that's running through my head at this moment in time.
I don't want to be an accountant. I don't want to be boring. I want to make money to support my family and other than that I don't care how much I make. I want to write a book, or several books I guess. I have some ideas already, but I'm a long way from starting the actual writing process.
I came to Pitt because I wasn't as happy as I thought I could be at Fordham. My friends start back to class tomorrow and I hope that their semester starts off well.
I'm here in Pittsburgh. 7 hours away from those friends and I can say that I truly miss them. I'm about 2 minutes away from two of my best friends in the world though. I'm eternally thankful to have them in my life.
I'm still an accounting major. I said I was coming to Pitt to focus more on writing classes. Right now I'm not being true to myself. I'm saving $30,000 a year, sure, but I'm not doing what I want to. What good is that?
I hate calculus. If I had a say I would never look at it again as long as I lived. Sadly I'll have to look at it as soon as tomorrow at noon. And the day after that, and the day after that, all the way to Friday.
I want to be writing in class. Calculus literally applies to 1% of all jobs in the world. Engineers. I'm not an engineering major so why do I need to know limits and functions and such? If I'm supposed to prepare taxes for a living when will I need that complicated of algebra? I don't think I ever will.
I see that as a flaw of college. If I'm trying to become an accountant make me an accountant. Don't force me into these classes that are irrelevant to my major. Let me do what I have to and get out. Don't make getting an education such a bureaucratic bunch of bull shit. "Core Curriculum". What a joke. A doctor doesn't need to know about the structure of a paragraph anymore than an accounting major needs to know about the Greeks. It's just another way to make more money off of us. I understand exposing kids to some of everything, but why, why, why does a pre-med student need a history class? If he is in the pre-med track let them be! Don't waste their time and energy.
If I had a say I wouldn't go to college. I'd like to devote my time to something else. I'd like to travel the world and see firsthand what's out there. I'd like to see and I'd like to write what I see. I want to make an impact now and I feel like college is delaying that. We have a precious number of years on this earth and we spend a good amount of it in school. Then after school we're expected to work another 25+ years. It's a rat race of sorts, one that's developed and perfected itself over time.
I want to write a book, make a lot of money, and travel. I want to travel until I write another book. I want to give an obscene amount of money to charity. I know I won't be the one curing cancer, but I can give money to the people who are going to. Yes I said going to. One day they'll find a cure. Cancer is a type of evil in my opinion. And I think that all evil is quelled at one point or another.
Evil demands thought of the good and bad. Which brings me to myself. I'm a good person. I'm a good person who has done bad things.
I guess that's probably assumed in some context or another. "Everybody has done bad things." True.
I've lied and I've cheated. I don't remember if I've stolen or not. I don't think so. I've swore...again, that's a given.
I have lied to a lot of people in my day. From little white lies to lies of a greater magnitude. I've cheated on spelling tests and more serious things too.
I'm realizing something though. I've lied to myself more than to anyone else. I've also cheated myself in so many ways.
I've cheated myself by selling myself short. I've done that for as long as I can remember. From 8th grade until the first part of senior year I found myself to be a pretty average person in almost every respect. Two Thanksgivings ago that started to change. I started to see that there was more out there for me. I saw how sheltered I was. I met my best friends and began getting close with them. I lost someone I thought I was in love with. But I realized that I wasn't ever really as in it as I should be. That has to do with lying to myself.
I've given up on myself before. I sort of did that at Fordham in all honesty. I did that with college baseball at Fordham too. I told myself "I can't".
I can though. Or I can at least try. I don't regret coming home to Pitt, not in the slightest.
I'm a confident person. I've been told I don't show it. I'm more confident than you all think. I guess that talk is worth what you paid for it, and seeing how this blog is free to read, it isn't worth shit. If I'm confident then I guess I'l have to go out and show you. I can do that.
NP: Homeboy- Eric Church
Right now I'm not particularly tired so I'll give you guys and girls something worth reading. I'll give you everything that's running through my head at this moment in time.
I don't want to be an accountant. I don't want to be boring. I want to make money to support my family and other than that I don't care how much I make. I want to write a book, or several books I guess. I have some ideas already, but I'm a long way from starting the actual writing process.
I came to Pitt because I wasn't as happy as I thought I could be at Fordham. My friends start back to class tomorrow and I hope that their semester starts off well.
I'm here in Pittsburgh. 7 hours away from those friends and I can say that I truly miss them. I'm about 2 minutes away from two of my best friends in the world though. I'm eternally thankful to have them in my life.
I'm still an accounting major. I said I was coming to Pitt to focus more on writing classes. Right now I'm not being true to myself. I'm saving $30,000 a year, sure, but I'm not doing what I want to. What good is that?
I hate calculus. If I had a say I would never look at it again as long as I lived. Sadly I'll have to look at it as soon as tomorrow at noon. And the day after that, and the day after that, all the way to Friday.
I want to be writing in class. Calculus literally applies to 1% of all jobs in the world. Engineers. I'm not an engineering major so why do I need to know limits and functions and such? If I'm supposed to prepare taxes for a living when will I need that complicated of algebra? I don't think I ever will.
I see that as a flaw of college. If I'm trying to become an accountant make me an accountant. Don't force me into these classes that are irrelevant to my major. Let me do what I have to and get out. Don't make getting an education such a bureaucratic bunch of bull shit. "Core Curriculum". What a joke. A doctor doesn't need to know about the structure of a paragraph anymore than an accounting major needs to know about the Greeks. It's just another way to make more money off of us. I understand exposing kids to some of everything, but why, why, why does a pre-med student need a history class? If he is in the pre-med track let them be! Don't waste their time and energy.
If I had a say I wouldn't go to college. I'd like to devote my time to something else. I'd like to travel the world and see firsthand what's out there. I'd like to see and I'd like to write what I see. I want to make an impact now and I feel like college is delaying that. We have a precious number of years on this earth and we spend a good amount of it in school. Then after school we're expected to work another 25+ years. It's a rat race of sorts, one that's developed and perfected itself over time.
I want to write a book, make a lot of money, and travel. I want to travel until I write another book. I want to give an obscene amount of money to charity. I know I won't be the one curing cancer, but I can give money to the people who are going to. Yes I said going to. One day they'll find a cure. Cancer is a type of evil in my opinion. And I think that all evil is quelled at one point or another.
Evil demands thought of the good and bad. Which brings me to myself. I'm a good person. I'm a good person who has done bad things.
I guess that's probably assumed in some context or another. "Everybody has done bad things." True.
I've lied and I've cheated. I don't remember if I've stolen or not. I don't think so. I've swore...again, that's a given.
I have lied to a lot of people in my day. From little white lies to lies of a greater magnitude. I've cheated on spelling tests and more serious things too.
I'm realizing something though. I've lied to myself more than to anyone else. I've also cheated myself in so many ways.
I've cheated myself by selling myself short. I've done that for as long as I can remember. From 8th grade until the first part of senior year I found myself to be a pretty average person in almost every respect. Two Thanksgivings ago that started to change. I started to see that there was more out there for me. I saw how sheltered I was. I met my best friends and began getting close with them. I lost someone I thought I was in love with. But I realized that I wasn't ever really as in it as I should be. That has to do with lying to myself.
I've given up on myself before. I sort of did that at Fordham in all honesty. I did that with college baseball at Fordham too. I told myself "I can't".
I can though. Or I can at least try. I don't regret coming home to Pitt, not in the slightest.
I'm a confident person. I've been told I don't show it. I'm more confident than you all think. I guess that talk is worth what you paid for it, and seeing how this blog is free to read, it isn't worth shit. If I'm confident then I guess I'l have to go out and show you. I can do that.
NP: Homeboy- Eric Church
Saturday, January 12, 2013
how you leave it
Today I asked myself which way I want to be remembered when I'm gone: by a million people for one thing or by one person for a million things. You know? Like Jonas Salk, known for curing polio by almost the entire world. Or the idea of a father, being remembered by his son, in a million different memories from throughout his life.
After thinking about it for a while I decided there isn't much of a difference. It's sort of a personal preference and I can't say which is better.
I want to be a husband, a father, and someday a grandfather. I want to leave my family with a million things to remember me by. At the same time I wouldn't mind writing a New York Times Best Seller and having a million people remember me as the author of it.
They are two totally different things and I would love to do both.
From different perspectives one might not seem to be as important as the other, but I assure you they are. For example, to the public me coaching my son's little league team doesn't mean much if I'm not writing a book. But to my son and wife, coaching that little league team will produce a thousand memories to store away. On the flip side you show my son my best selling novel, imagine how interested he would be. A 12 year old kid doesn't want to see how his dad is making money, he wants his dad to catch baseball with him.
Importance is in the eye of the beholder (like beauty, I guess).
What it comes down to is I want to be remembered. Be it for one thing by a million, or for a million things by one.
I want to be successful and I want to be excellent. Some people think there is a difference between the two of those, but that is a totally different debate.
NP: Landslide- Fleetwood Mac
After thinking about it for a while I decided there isn't much of a difference. It's sort of a personal preference and I can't say which is better.
I want to be a husband, a father, and someday a grandfather. I want to leave my family with a million things to remember me by. At the same time I wouldn't mind writing a New York Times Best Seller and having a million people remember me as the author of it.
They are two totally different things and I would love to do both.
From different perspectives one might not seem to be as important as the other, but I assure you they are. For example, to the public me coaching my son's little league team doesn't mean much if I'm not writing a book. But to my son and wife, coaching that little league team will produce a thousand memories to store away. On the flip side you show my son my best selling novel, imagine how interested he would be. A 12 year old kid doesn't want to see how his dad is making money, he wants his dad to catch baseball with him.
Importance is in the eye of the beholder (like beauty, I guess).
What it comes down to is I want to be remembered. Be it for one thing by a million, or for a million things by one.
I want to be successful and I want to be excellent. Some people think there is a difference between the two of those, but that is a totally different debate.
NP: Landslide- Fleetwood Mac
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
Sweet Caroline?
Well I am at Pitt. Started yesterday. I'm in five classes just like I was at Fordham. I have a new roommate and a new environment to get acclimated to. I'll admit it feels strange not going out the door and seeing Martyr's. It's weird that I don't go to McGinley to eat. Weird that I don't ever see Eddie's or Keating. It's weird that I'm not 7 hours away from home.
It isn't a bad weird, just a new one. New in the sense of finding my classes and things of that nature.
I've been sitting behind this computer for an hour and a half over-thinking. I'm so damn worried about my classes and it's only the second day. I feel like I'm behind but I haven't learned anything to be behind on. I'm driving myself crazy as we speak...well as I speak to myself.
I need to just realize that it's out of my control. I need to go day by day and look at what's on my plate. I don't really have anything on my plate tonight. That means I should get a shower and go to bed. Get a good night's sleep and wake up ready for tomorrow. Will that happen?? It remains to be seen.
20 minutes later... I'm in Jared and Dave's room.
20 minutes after that...still here.
I found some reading I can get ahead on for Thursday...tomorrow...I'll do it tomorrow.
I don't want to shower tonight. Maybe I won't.
I like it here so far. Still feeling it out.
Til next time.
NP: Work Out- J. Cole
Saturday, January 5, 2013
my biggest fear
I've decided what my biggest fear is. It isn't something silly like heights or snakes. It isn't inadequacy or being weak. It isn't even death. My biggest fear is one day forgetting.
I'm not a huge fan of The Notebook but it did make me think. It made me think about Alzheimer's, about dementia, and about the possibility of one day not being able to remember.
You don't have to be a diehard fan of the movie but you can at least appreciate the idea behind it. I know the last time I saw it I was a somewhat ignorant 14 or 15 year old boy. I said that it was a stupid love story, a useless rom-com, and a chick flick. I didn't pay attention to what was actually going on.
It isn't so much the love story I think I can learn from, it's the fact that you can forget it all. It doesn't have to be something as spectacular as a Noah Calhoun/Allie Hamilton love affair that you are forgetting. It can be faces, names, or moments in time. I guess in reality that's what any love story is. It's just a series of moments in time, intertwined in a way that creates something great. What's especially scary to me is what happens when it worsens. After you forget the names and faces of friends and family do you begin to forget yourself?
We work all our lives to make memories, friends, and a family and the idea that we can forget it all is scary. Our name is something that travels with us from birth to death, but what good is a name that you yourself can no longer remember?
I guess all we can do is live each day and night to their fullest. I can't let the fear of forgetting prevent me from doing.
So I guess that's a New Year's vow I can make to myself: Make each day worth remembering.
NP: Drops of Jupiter- Train
I'm not a huge fan of The Notebook but it did make me think. It made me think about Alzheimer's, about dementia, and about the possibility of one day not being able to remember.
You don't have to be a diehard fan of the movie but you can at least appreciate the idea behind it. I know the last time I saw it I was a somewhat ignorant 14 or 15 year old boy. I said that it was a stupid love story, a useless rom-com, and a chick flick. I didn't pay attention to what was actually going on.
It isn't so much the love story I think I can learn from, it's the fact that you can forget it all. It doesn't have to be something as spectacular as a Noah Calhoun/Allie Hamilton love affair that you are forgetting. It can be faces, names, or moments in time. I guess in reality that's what any love story is. It's just a series of moments in time, intertwined in a way that creates something great. What's especially scary to me is what happens when it worsens. After you forget the names and faces of friends and family do you begin to forget yourself?
We work all our lives to make memories, friends, and a family and the idea that we can forget it all is scary. Our name is something that travels with us from birth to death, but what good is a name that you yourself can no longer remember?
I guess all we can do is live each day and night to their fullest. I can't let the fear of forgetting prevent me from doing.
So I guess that's a New Year's vow I can make to myself: Make each day worth remembering.
NP: Drops of Jupiter- Train
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Year's Review
Another year has come to pass. 2012 is now a memory. My 2012 consisted of many things both good and bad.
In short; I loved a lot and I lost a little, I smiled more than I frowned, I laughed more than I cried, and I lived without a fear of dying.
2012 was good to me. It helped me grow closer to my six best friends. It gave me six new friends. I lost no loved ones. I fell in love with my best friend. I lived in New York City for four months. I came home. More than leaving or coming home, I learned about myself.
I learned that forgiveness is much easier than hatred. I learned that I'm not always right. I learned that not everything is reciprocated, but that doesn't mean you can't always give everything you have.
I watched a recap of 2012 today that Google did and it gave me chills. You almost forget how much good took place in 2012, how many inspirational actions there were. One can't help but remember the sad losses at Sandy Hook and the Aurora Shooting. Those are things we can't forget. We cannot dwell on the negatives though. Take a look back at the Summer Olympics if you want something to smile about. Whether you're a fan or not of gymnastics, track, or swimming you can at least respect what Gabby Douglas, Michael Phelps, and Oscar Pistorius did.
It didn't hit me until today what the exact magnitude of those athletes actions is. Michael Phelps didn't just win the most Olympic medals ever, he inspired at least one generation of young boys. Oscar Pistorius gave hope to disabled children across the world.
Inspiration and hope are two things that can't be taken away. Once they are planted, once they are done, possibilities for the good that can come are endless.
I was hopeful in 2012. Rightfully so. 2012 was a beautiful year. If you took the time you could scour my blog posts, tweets, and pictures on Facebook to try and sum up my year. No amount of 140 character long tweets, or words in a blog, or pictures on Facebook could begin to explain my 2012.
You would have needed to be there with me every day to understand it.
Nobody was with me everyday. It was just me. As 2013 goes on I will remember that. At the end of the day the only person there is yourself. That means to have a successful year I need to exemplify all the characteristics I look for in other people. I have to be responsible and accountable. I have to be respectable and well mannered. I have to be strong and aware. I have to be accepting. More than anything else, I have to love myself.
If I don't love the kid looking back at me in the mirror I will never be able to love anyone else properly.
2012, I'd like to thank you.
2013, I'm ready for you.
NP: I Can't Lie- Maroon 5
(Here's the link to the Google video. Enjoy. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xY_MUB8adEQ)
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