First off I'd like to state that the movie Love and Other Drugs is pretty damn good. It's not like the usual sappy love movies I see. Anne Hathaway's character, Maggie, has early onset Parkinson's Disease and Jake Gyllenhaal's character falls in love with her.
I'm not sure there is anything more sad than a disease that doesn't have a cure.
And I don't think there is anything more beautiful than the family and loved ones who love an ill person endlessly.
I'm sure everyone says that they would love the person in sickness and in health, but until you're in that situation I don't think you can say one way or the other.
A disease like Parkinson's is a sad, sad thing to watch develop. A slight tremor becomes a constant shake. Everyday normalities like buttoning your shirt become a constant struggle. You are forced to watch a beautiful person be deteriorated and crushed by a disease that can't be stopped, only slowed.
They remain that beautiful person you love, but when the smile you grew to love has faded and the body becomes rigid you begin to wonder why it happened to you. You want desperately to find a cure, but a cure won't be found by you.
You have to come to terms with the fact that stage one will become stage two, that stage two will lead to stage three, and that in time stage four will arrive and the shaking will become violent and nearly uncontrollable.
Towards the end of the movie Jamie (Jake Gyllenhaal's character) tells Maggie that he needs her and that she needs him. She tries to convince him that she doesn't need him, but he tells her that everybody needs somebody to take care of them. Maggie cries that it isn't fair because she's going to need him more than he needs her and Jamie consoles her and tells her that's okay.
It is okay, needing someone more than they need you, that is. It's okay because having a little faith in humanity won't kill you. If anything it'll show you who the truly caring people are.
It takes a huge letdown to realize what you want, what you need, and what you already have.
Find that person who loves you when you're sick and when you're healthy.
NP: We Found Love- Rihanna
Friday, July 6, 2012
Thursday, July 5, 2012
school spirit
I just realized I only have two Fordham shirts. This is a travesty that must be resolved soon. I go onto the campus bookstore website everyday and look at what I want to buy.
I figure to survive college I'm going to need...
two pairs of Fordham sweatpants,
a Fordham hat,
several more Fordham tee-shirts (around 7 total),
a Fordham hoodie,
a Fordham rain jacket.
Some might call that list over the top, but I think it's the perfect list.
It might appear to be obsessive, but I call it school spirit.
Plus each and every piece has some use.
2 pairs of sweatpants allow me to get away with wearing sweatpants at least four times a week if need be.
A hat helps with bad hair days or to actually just block out the sun.
Having seven tee-shirts allows for one everyday of the week.
A hoodie is great for jeans or with sweats and comes in handy during cold winter months.
A rain jacket...well it rains in New York doesn't it? Obviously I'll need a rain jacket to get from class to class.
It looks like that shopping list comes out to around $220 worth of Fordham clothing. Not too shabby.
I figure to survive college I'm going to need...
two pairs of Fordham sweatpants,
a Fordham hat,
several more Fordham tee-shirts (around 7 total),
a Fordham hoodie,
a Fordham rain jacket.
Some might call that list over the top, but I think it's the perfect list.
It might appear to be obsessive, but I call it school spirit.
Plus each and every piece has some use.
2 pairs of sweatpants allow me to get away with wearing sweatpants at least four times a week if need be.
A hat helps with bad hair days or to actually just block out the sun.
Having seven tee-shirts allows for one everyday of the week.
A hoodie is great for jeans or with sweats and comes in handy during cold winter months.
A rain jacket...well it rains in New York doesn't it? Obviously I'll need a rain jacket to get from class to class.
It looks like that shopping list comes out to around $220 worth of Fordham clothing. Not too shabby.
memory
Isn't it crazy how you associate one movie, song, or saying with a person? Some people are represented by more than one thing. Obviously the more memories you have with a person the more you associate with them.
Then again, you can spend everyday with a person and still not have fond memories of them. You can spend years with someone and not feel the same affect as months with someone else.
Time is a strange thing because many times you can accomplish more in less time. Sometimes you're given as much time as you need to do something, but you would be able to get more out of it with a time constraint.
1461 days versus 121 days.
It's amazing the time difference there. The first is over twelve times larger than the second, yet somehow the second feels so much stronger.
This whole blog started with the fact that I heard my sister watching Burlesque in the other room. Burlesque, despite some arguments, takes me back to early December. (Not November)
NP: Open Your Eyes- Snow Patrol
Then again, you can spend everyday with a person and still not have fond memories of them. You can spend years with someone and not feel the same affect as months with someone else.
Time is a strange thing because many times you can accomplish more in less time. Sometimes you're given as much time as you need to do something, but you would be able to get more out of it with a time constraint.
1461 days versus 121 days.
It's amazing the time difference there. The first is over twelve times larger than the second, yet somehow the second feels so much stronger.
This whole blog started with the fact that I heard my sister watching Burlesque in the other room. Burlesque, despite some arguments, takes me back to early December. (Not November)
NP: Open Your Eyes- Snow Patrol
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
it isn't the same
I don't get what my mom doesn't understand. Our family vacation to Hilton Head isn't the same as it used to be.
It was different whenever our whole family went down for the full two weeks, but now our numbers have dwindled.
Jarrett, John, and Joey are grown up and can't make it down anymore. Maura, Emily, Aunt Maureen, and Uncle Joe can only stay a week. Uncle Dick has a restaurant down there and other obligations so he isn't around. Yet somehow my mom expects me to want to stay down there just me, her, Jenny, Pap, and Joyce.
It isn't the same as before when the whole family would head down to the beach every morning and spend hours in the sun. Fourteen days isn't so bad when you're among family and you're staying busy the whole time. When Jarrett and Joe were still coming down we would be able to hang out and time seemed to fly by. But they've grown up and moved on and sadly I'm growing up and moving on too.
Don't get me wrong, I still love Hilton Head, it's just that this is my last summer before my life gets shaken up.
It's the last couple weeks before my friends and I go our separate ways. In 28 days one of my best friends will be gone, in 47 days another will be gone, and in 53 I'll be gone.
Maybe years from now looking back I'll ask why I didn't take advantage of the vacation time I had. Maybe...
Right now I want to see my friends.
I love my family more than my friends, it's just the idea that I know where to find my family. In a year's time I'm not sure where I'll be able to find my friends.
Three hundred sixty-five days from now I'll have finished my first year at college. My friends might be at home working summer jobs, they might be taking advantage of internships, or maybe they're off chasing their dreams playing semi-professional soccer.
Life is full of maybes, the future especially, all I know for certain is that I want to live up these last couple weeks with my friends.
Times are changing.
Do you feel it yet?
NP: Different Now- Oddisee
It was different whenever our whole family went down for the full two weeks, but now our numbers have dwindled.
Jarrett, John, and Joey are grown up and can't make it down anymore. Maura, Emily, Aunt Maureen, and Uncle Joe can only stay a week. Uncle Dick has a restaurant down there and other obligations so he isn't around. Yet somehow my mom expects me to want to stay down there just me, her, Jenny, Pap, and Joyce.
It isn't the same as before when the whole family would head down to the beach every morning and spend hours in the sun. Fourteen days isn't so bad when you're among family and you're staying busy the whole time. When Jarrett and Joe were still coming down we would be able to hang out and time seemed to fly by. But they've grown up and moved on and sadly I'm growing up and moving on too.
Don't get me wrong, I still love Hilton Head, it's just that this is my last summer before my life gets shaken up.
It's the last couple weeks before my friends and I go our separate ways. In 28 days one of my best friends will be gone, in 47 days another will be gone, and in 53 I'll be gone.
Maybe years from now looking back I'll ask why I didn't take advantage of the vacation time I had. Maybe...
Right now I want to see my friends.
I love my family more than my friends, it's just the idea that I know where to find my family. In a year's time I'm not sure where I'll be able to find my friends.
Three hundred sixty-five days from now I'll have finished my first year at college. My friends might be at home working summer jobs, they might be taking advantage of internships, or maybe they're off chasing their dreams playing semi-professional soccer.
Life is full of maybes, the future especially, all I know for certain is that I want to live up these last couple weeks with my friends.
Times are changing.
Do you feel it yet?
NP: Different Now- Oddisee
Sunday, July 1, 2012
want to the umpteenth degree
Have you ever wanted something so bad it hurt? I'm not talking in the metaphorical sense. I'm talking about falling to your knees because it overwhelms you. I'm talking about wanting something so bad the thought of not having it actually breaks you down. Mentally, emotionally, and even physically it tears you down.
It's a strange feeling not having control of a situation.
You guys know me, I refuse to do anything that impairs my judgement or removes control from my hands. Yet somehow, I have no power here.
The only control I have is what I do. That's all you ever have I guess. You can't tell someone else how to feel or how to act. You can't make someone feel the way you want.
All you can do is take every possible measure to show them how you feel and how you want them to feel.
From there, it's out of your hands.
And that's when I get scared.
I want to have total control all the time and it doesn't work that way.
People oftentimes say that, "It'll all work out," and to that I say bullshit.
You can sit there and tell me that all day and I'll never believe you. Things won't just work themselves out. That isn't how it goes.
I refuse to just let go of something and wish at 11:11 or pray to God that it'll work out.
I'm not that kind of guy.
If I want something I'm going to do everything in my power to have it. Leave the "it'll all work out" to those that are weak enough to give up.
I recognize that sometimes it doesn't matter how bad you want something, you just can't have it. I'm giving it my all so that isn't the case this time around.
Giving up isn't an option.
Walking away isn't my style.
Letting go of something that makes me this happy just isn't going of happen.
NP: When I'm Gone- Eminem
It's a strange feeling not having control of a situation.
You guys know me, I refuse to do anything that impairs my judgement or removes control from my hands. Yet somehow, I have no power here.
The only control I have is what I do. That's all you ever have I guess. You can't tell someone else how to feel or how to act. You can't make someone feel the way you want.
All you can do is take every possible measure to show them how you feel and how you want them to feel.
From there, it's out of your hands.
And that's when I get scared.
I want to have total control all the time and it doesn't work that way.
People oftentimes say that, "It'll all work out," and to that I say bullshit.
You can sit there and tell me that all day and I'll never believe you. Things won't just work themselves out. That isn't how it goes.
I refuse to just let go of something and wish at 11:11 or pray to God that it'll work out.
I'm not that kind of guy.
If I want something I'm going to do everything in my power to have it. Leave the "it'll all work out" to those that are weak enough to give up.
I recognize that sometimes it doesn't matter how bad you want something, you just can't have it. I'm giving it my all so that isn't the case this time around.
Giving up isn't an option.
Walking away isn't my style.
Letting go of something that makes me this happy just isn't going of happen.
NP: When I'm Gone- Eminem
the gray
Once more into the fray
Into the last good fight I'll ever know
Live and die on this day
Live and die on this day
I want that as a tattoo.
Once more into the fray...venturing into the unknown, because really it's all unknown.
Into the last good fight I'll ever know... life is the only fight we have.
Live and die on this day... because it's the only thing we can do.
Into the last good fight I'll ever know
Live and die on this day
Live and die on this day
I want that as a tattoo.
Once more into the fray...venturing into the unknown, because really it's all unknown.
Into the last good fight I'll ever know... life is the only fight we have.
Live and die on this day... because it's the only thing we can do.
not knowing
The only certainty might be uncertainty but there are some things you just need to know. I want to know.
It's okay though. I'll keep shaking my legs in wonder.
I want it to stop shaking, but I've accepted the fact I'll never stop over thinking.
That's just me.
What am I?
Je pense donc je suis.
I think, therefore I am.
I am something, but what are we?
I'm just a kid, we're just people, and this is life.
This is us growing up.
This is the craziest thing you'll ever be a part of.
It's okay though. I'll keep shaking my legs in wonder.
I want it to stop shaking, but I've accepted the fact I'll never stop over thinking.
That's just me.
What am I?
Je pense donc je suis.
I think, therefore I am.
I am something, but what are we?
I'm just a kid, we're just people, and this is life.
This is us growing up.
This is the craziest thing you'll ever be a part of.
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