Music and a Little Writing

Music is something universal, something that can cheer you up or depress you depending what you're looking for. Writing is the same way. There is nothing better than laying down in bed at night with a pen and paper and headphones in. My IPod is filled with some of the strangest music combinations ever, I go from being in a Biggie mood to wanting some Jim Croce. New music, old music it doesn't matter. Every type of music serves a different purpose for me. getting ready before i football game I prefer some Eminem or the instrumental from Friday Night Lights. (Which by the way is called Your Hand  in Mine by Explosions in the Sky) Before bed i can listen to anything, but when i want to write before bed i throw on some slow, soft rock and let out what the day had done to me. I listen to music that my dad used to play on cassette tapes when we would go up to our cabin. The good old days is what it reminds me of. But now I can listen to the songs and really hear them for what they mean. i enjoy reading what songs are supposed to be about, or at least what it is speculated that they are about. Some music today is just soo bad. LIL WAYNE. What is he even writing about? I dont know maybe i am biased because i like some other music that is similar to his but I just can't stand Lil Wayne. Well I have ranted enough for today. Can't wait til tonight to write some poems and stuff. And If you were wondering what Trev and i have listened to this period it's a good playlist.

TREV AND TOM'S 8th PERIOD PLAYLIST FROM MEERKAT MANOR
Work Out-J Cole
Chillin-Wale
Daughters-John Mayer
Folsom Prison Blues-Johnny Cash
Attraction-B.O.B
Layla-Eric Clapton
Wake Me Up When September Ends- Green Day 
You'll Think of Me-Keith Urban
I'm Yours-Jason Mraz
You're So Vain-Carly Simon

This is the end, for you my friend...

Talking about the end is depressing but i need to get it out. Recently I have realized that a lot of things are coming to an end in my life. Last Thursday I played what would turn out to be my last hig school soccer game ever. Looking back, playing high school soccer was four of the best years of my life. I got a chance to play with my friends that I have played with since we were five years old playing at Argenta. I can remember back to those days when the biggest worry before the game was which side of our reversible jersey we were supposed to wear. Those friends from the team fill a place in my heart that no team or group can ever touch, it's kinda like the quote from The Perks of Being a Wallflower because in that moment when we lost and we were sitting in the locker room, we were "infinite." I texted all the senior guys after the loss and spilled my heart to them, the replies i got back made me smile. Most of them were thank yous and saying how much they enjoyed playing with me and enjoyed my joking around. One text though from a friend who I tought had no real emotions said "You've got a bright future ahead of you." That brought tears to my eyes because I am so scared of the future and what it might hold for me. But I hope my friend is right and that I do have a bright future ahead of me. The last thing i have to say about that is cherish what you have and live every moment to it's fullest. Like sitting at McDonalds the night we lost until midnight just sitting there talking to my friends, not wanting to leave but knowing we have to..

On another note football is coming to a close as well. We have a game tonight against Knoch and it could potentially be the last high school football ame that I kick in. That scares me because this is only my first year of kicking in varsity games consistently and it's something special. I honestly am not sure how much I like the sport of football. I like being apart of something though and that is what football offers me. It is truly a family, last night we watched the movie 127 Hours, pretty graphic, but after the movie four alumni came back and spoke to us. Two of those four have played in the NFL and one of them quit football while in college. The one that spoke to me the most was Coach Cooney when he told us that he called Coach Palks cring asking him if it was okay if he stopped playing. Not okay for him, okay for the program because he was scared that if any future player from West A wanted to go there that they wouldn't get a fair shot because of him quitting. The saddest thing to think about is that if I do play college football it won't be the same as high school, sure I still might be the last person to get dressed for everything and  I might still take crap for being a kicker, but I won't be able to look across the locker bay at Dalton or Bonjo. I won't be able to say stuff to D Flo or Jake Johnson. That shit is scary to think about.

All I really know about the end is that it is coming, it always will be. But I guess the real question is what will I do before it gets here? I hope I can answer that question with my actions, and I hope that answer is a positive one.

NP: Landslide by Fleetwood Mac, a.k.a the saddest song ever because what it reminds me of. It reminds me of all the senior soccer uys sitting in the locker room together and Travis saying, "Damn this is really happening." Who'd have thought the first serious thing that kid's ever said would hurt the most?

Ten Years Time

Ten years ago today, it was a Tuesday, and my grandmother died of an brain aneurysm. I remember walking down the stairs to find my mother sobbing, and I instantly knew what was wrong. She had been in the hospital the night before, but at six years old being naive I knew not what an aneurysm was. It shook me. And ten years later the scariest part, is the thought of one day forgetting. Rest in Peace Nan.

Drugs and Dogs and Teens and Beer

Today I was stopped in the middle of a game of two ball soccer because the girls gym class wasn't allowed in the locker rooms while the drug dogs searched the locker room. The most upsetting thing to me was the fact that I didn't get to play soccer. I will not fault the school for what they do because contrary to popular belief they don't want to make every kid look like a bad guy. They want to check every student so that they find the few that are bad. The last thing the school board wants is for the school they represent to look terrible. If a student has drugs on school property they deserve to get caught and they should not be allowed back. Coach Palko said that this years student section was they best in over ten years, but he also talked to the team about how he cannot condone their actions when he knows half of them are coming to the game "blitzed out of their mind."  I can't blame him because while it is great to see the kids supporting us on Fridays it is sad to know that many of them would not be acting the way they were if alcohol was not present. There is a time and a place for everything, and the time and place to drink is college. Not high school. "But some parents don't care", say some students. And to that I say if they don't care that their kid is doing something that is blatently illegal, then they shouldn't care that their kid is viewed as a problem. Because that's what drinking is, especially in high school. A problem.

Time Flies...

Does time really fly by? Sometimes time seems to fly by, like looking back on the first three years of high school. The sad part is not remembering some things. But the greatest feeling is when one little thing reminds you of something from long ago. Usually the thoughts that I think back to are funny times where something had happened and it faded away until it was brought up some number of years later.

Is there enough time to enjoy life? Obviously and obviously not. In our lifetimes most of us will go through life changing experiences and we will also have times in life that we wish we could go back and change. Which brings up the talk of regret, and while life may be "short" it is ten times shorter when living with regret. How can someone take advantage of everything in front of them when they are caught turned around, dwelling on the past? They can't. And even in some case those who face the future miss some opportunities. Life gives us many things to be happy about, and life is too short to experience everything. Plain and simple. It doesn't matter if I live to be 120 years old I will miss out on something. The key though, is making the most of what you do have.
 Do we do too much? My answers is yes and no. I am a person involved in many extracurricular activities and sometimes I do wish I could just take a day off. But then on days off I get bored... So is it better to load up on activities and sometimes wish for a break or just chill and look for one small thing to do to fill time? I wish I had the answer to that question because it would really help me out. As far as activities go I hope my children try every sport possible because I want them to find the one that truly makes them happy, I also hope that when they find that sport that I can be 100% behind them. I know right now it is easy to say that I would, but in reality I don't know what I am going to do if my son doesn't like sports. But I will have to be okay with whatever he chooses to do.
Because in hindsight, life is approximately 85 years long, the first 3 of which are basically a waste (except for cute pictures to look back on yeas later.) Which leaves us with around 718,320 hours of life left to live out. Once you factor in what part is spent sleeping we find that we now have 448,950 hours left. School takes up at least 13,000 hours of that. Some large numbers to look at, but when I am old I hope to look back and say that I spent those four hundred some thousand hours as best I could.

Mo Money, Mo Problems

     Affect my social life? I would have to have a social life for it to be affected by a lack of money. I never go out to the movies or out to dinner, instead I hang out with my friends and we play with NERF guns pretending to be different people. I guess my imagination saves me from needing to spend money. Like Mr. Denk just said there is nothing like having a bon fire which is very cost efficient.
     School on the other hand is something I constantly worry about paying for. In my previous blog I ranted about paying two hundred grand for a college degree. After graduating the next worry is finding a stable job. It is unbelievable how many people working in retail jobs (i.e. cashier at Sears) have a college degree. That ties into my other blog where I talk about going to an accredited school. You need to come out of school KNOWING you have a job lined up. In four years I hope to be in that boat. For now though, I will survive off my minmum wage job and the constant worry that my credit card will be declined. Because in the end, money is not everything, but having to ask my mom for money... now that is everything. That is a topic that has already been discussed however, and even though I love my Mom and would love to write about her some more the period is over.

Relax

This past Thursday I experienced the most calming time in a long time. After school before football started I decided to avoid the hectic locker room and laid on the field and read The Great Gatsby. The only thing I heard was the wind and my own thoughts, something I rarely have time to listen to. I realize that I only laid there for around ten minutes, but in that ten minutes I was unbelievably calm, something that I haven't been in a long time. I just wish I had more moments like that in the hectic life I lead. Maybe someday when I settle down I can spend more than ten minutes alone with nothing else to worry about but me.