Christmas Revisited

This Christmas reminded how fragile life is, and how in an instant the plans you have can become the plans you had. Things change for one reason or another and sometimes they change forever. And that's life. 

We're born with one single guarantee, and that guarantee is that one day we will die. 

And the scary part is that we don't know when that day will come, but that's just how it is. We can't know everything and honestly would you want to know? I guess there are certain occasions where we would, but more often than not I think death is one part of life that is better left in the dark.

When it strikes we feel robbed for so many reasons. We ask ourselves what we could have done to prevent it? What if this? What if that? 

And in almost every single case the answer is that there was nothing you could do to prevent it. 

And that isn't fair. 

But when death strikes you have to trust that there will be people there for you. To comfort you, to cry with you, to listen to you, or just to sit with you. 

 I promise that somebody will always be there for you. 

Death is, sadly, an inevitable part of life. It's the part most people fear, and it carries the most uncertainty along with it. 

To be frank, death is life's ugly tag-along. It's what makes life scary, but it's also what makes life so precious. Because without death we'd have no clue just how incredible life is. 

So here's to life and it's many wonders.  

“The hour of departure has arrived, and we go our separate ways, I to die, and you to live. Which of these two is better only God knows.” -Socrates

NP: The Scientist- Coldplay

Christmas Time

So, it is Christmas morning (approximately 1 a.m.) Which means another year has come and gone, and it's time to give gifts to all our loved ones. This Christmas was the first in a long time where I had trouble building a list. There's nothing I need and very little that I want. Giving gifts is still just as fun as it has always been, but receiving gifts is starting to lose its appeal. 

I guess the problem with building a Christmas list at my age is that the things I want are intangible. As much as I'd love a new pair of shoes I would much rather have a few extra days with my family. And even though I'd like to have some new clothes I'd much rather have another week in Hilton Head with my best friends. The problem is that Santa can't give me more time, he can't make my friends stay in Pittsburgh, and he can't halt my family's lives so they can stay here. 

That's just the way it is, and I'm learning to accept it. Every year on Christmas Eve we open grab bag presents in order from youngest to oldest, and every year I see the same faces with one more year under their belt. And I can't decide if getting older scares me or excites me. With every year of life comes another set of opportunities, but with new opportunities comes the fact that yet another year of life has passed us by. 

But maybe "passed us by" isn't the proper way to word it. "Passed us by" implies we've missed out. Life shouldn't be passing us by, and hopefully life isn't passing me by. 

I don't think it is. I think life is happening and I'm busy living it.

This Christmas I came to a pretty stark realization. Although I was raised Roman Catholic most of my life Christmas has never been about the birth of Christ. Christmas is about family. We used to always go to church on Christmas but it was never so much about church as it was the family being in church together. 

So I guess, to me, Christmas is no longer about presents, and it was never about religion, so that means it has to be about family. Family and friends. And time. 

Because if there's anything Christmas has taught me it's that time is the greatest present you can get. I know for sure that the best presents I'll get this Christmas are time with family around the dining room table, time with friends in Amanda's living room, and time left to just live. 

Enjoy the time you have, everybody. 

And Merry Christmas. 

NP: Carry On- Fun.

CT Trip

So this past week I visited my friends Peter and Steve in Connecticut. Peter and his family were generous enough to pay for my Megabus tickets and put me up in their house for three nights. The trip was unbelievable. It started like so many of my trips before...at the convention center in downtown Pittsburgh.

The Megabus was just as crowded as usual on the way to New York, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Once I got to NYC I hopped on the 1 train and transferred to the 4 to get myself to the beloved Bronx. I walked down East Fordham Road like I did so many times before.

It was sort of surreal being back. The dorms, the caf, and the library all seemed so foreign to me. I guess sometimes I forget how short my time at Fordham actually was.

Which is even more surprising when I think about the friends I made. Peter was willing to pay for me to come to Connecticut for God's sake.

Which reminds me of the hours we spent in his room just talking.

And there's Steve who was in my orientation group. One of my most fond memories of Fordham was during the candlelight ceremony with Steve. I'll never forget that sight. All the freshman with their candles on Eddie's.

Then my wonderful, beautiful, spectacular friend, Kaitlin Lorio. The girl I spent way too many nights in the library with.

And of course, Emily. One of the most unique, funny people I have ever met.

Plus Carly. What a gem.

I really missed Lily, Caroline, and Julia though. Those girls are all something else.

Anyway. After my return to Fordham I headed to Connecticut.

1st time in any New England state, mind you.

I liked it. Very quiet, very suburban, but overall, very nice.

I also got to meet a lot of Peter and Steve's friends, all of whom were really cool.

Thursday night Peter and I spent the majority of our night at their friends, the Hendels' house.

Victoria and Mrs. Hendel are hysterical. Such beautiful people. They're the type of people who make you forget about everything else when you're with them. They sort of captivate you. Mrs. Hendel is just an absolute crack up. Didn't stop laughing the whole time I was there.

This blurb doesn't do justice to any of the people I met. Especially the Fiasconaros. What a great family. Italian as you'll ever see. Which means a couple things: great food (with large portions), loud talking, and overall a loving atmosphere. I couldn't have felt more welcome. Mrs. Fiasconaro called me her son that she didn't have to birth. I sure felt like it. I'm really grateful for everything she did for me.

She gave me the chance to see all my friends again. (Well, almost all.)

Regardless, Connecticut and my trip were amazing. I felt welcomed by everyone I met,  and I couldn't have asked for a better vacation.

NP: Sweet Disposition- The Temper Trap

The Great Gatsby

I saw "The Great Gatsby" for the first time tonight and it just reminded me why I love the book so much. I love it so much because I see myself sprinkled through it in so many different places.

the way I see it

This past Sunday I went to watch Jenny compete in her cheer competition at the Pete. I saw something at the competition that really discouraged me. It's something I've noticed for a while now.

It wasn't the six year old girl who knew how to do the wobble that discouraged me.

Instead it was the fact that in this generation we're not teaching kids how to fail. We are encouraging a generation of mediocre medal winners.

What I mean is this: Kids these days (myself included to some extent) are never taught how to cope with losing or disappointment. I watched 6 teams compete in a specific cheer category and each team won a trophy. They announced the 3 last place teams like this, "In no particular order our finalists include..." Finalists? Really? We're going to call these teams finalists when they didn't have to qualify for the competition?

I think that's bullshit.

I understand these girls want to get a trophy, but let's call it for what it is. These parents are paying for their kids to enter competitions and be given a trophy. Paying $100 each for a trophy isn't a very good deal in my opinion.

Also, in my opinion, we aren't being fair to these kids by giving them all trophies and not telling them where they actually finished.

A competition is supposed to be competitive, which this competition was. If you aren't better than your competitors you should be told that outright. Sure you can look at a score sheet and see your score was lower, but nothing got me more motivated than hearing straight up that someone did better than me.

We're raising a generation of kids who don't know what failure is. Maybe that comes along with not telling kids "no" enough as they grow up.

Disappointment and failure are an inevitable part of life.

Life isn't about never being disappointed or never failing. Life is about coping with failure and being okay with disappointment.

I want kids to have trophies.

But I want them to earn them for winning, not for being a "finalist."

NP: Dirty Little Secret- The All-American Rejects

give thanks everyday

So this past Thursday was Thanksgiving. That means social media was filled with everything that people were thankful for. I thought that blogging on Thanksgiving would be way too cliche.

I am thankful though. For many different things in my life.

I'm thankful for my large, loving family. Seeing so many of them this past week was amazing. I can't remember the last time we brought so many people together. Takes me back to the Hilton Head days before college and jobs were a part of my cousins' lives. That's the saddest part of growing up in my opinion. Seeing family grow up and move away. It hasn't hit me that my cousin Joey is 28 years old. I guess I sort of froze him in time in his senior year of high school. That was ten years ago now. Wow.

I'm thankful to have my best friends from high school. It doesn't matter if they're in Charlottesville, Akron, Cincinnati, Bloomington, or right here at Pitt we all manage to stay close. Every time we get together at Amanda's it's like we're back at West A, talking like things haven't changed one bit. The truth is that things have changed quite a bit. New loves, new friends and new homes, but our friendship has held up through all of that. I'm beyond thankful for that.

I'm thankful for all my friends at Fordham who I stay in touch with. Julia, Peter, Kaitlin, Steve, Lily, Emily, Carol, and Rachael. It was this time a year ago when I had told them all that I was leaving. I left, but they've kept me a part of their lives. I can't wait to go up and visit them all. It's way overdue.

I'm thankful for all the new friends I've made at Pitt this year. Zach, Ross, and Nick especially. I never thought Jared, Dave, and I would find a group of guys as strange as us, but I was wrong. They fit right in with us and our weird ways. A really good group of guys who I know have my back.

I'm thankful for friends at Pitt that I made last year. Especially Jeff and Greg. "The Wolfpack" from Tower A. Two of the best guys I know. Greg has really become like a brother to me and I haven't even known him a full year yet. Can't wait to live with both those guys next year.

I'm thankful for my PCB family. I'm so happy to be back playing baseball again. Intramural soccer is great and all, but playing really competitive teams from other schools is something totally different. The road trip to Cornell has been one of the highlights of my semester. I'm pleasantly surprised with how accepting all the guys on the team have been and I can't wait to try and make a run at a World Series title with them in the spring.

Finally, I am thankful for my PSP family. It's a family I didn't expect much from when I was starting out, but now that I'm farther along I can see that these people are going to play a significant role in my college career. I'm especially thankful for my initiate class. 15 of the best people I know.

Those are all the people I am thankful for in my life. Obviously I am also thankful for my parent and Pap and Joyce. They all make me feel like I'm at home whether it's in Oakdale or Oakland.

In addition to all the people I am thankful for I'm thankful for some other things too.

I'm thankful for my family's and my own health.

I'm thankful for all my opportunities, be it school related or personal.

Things like the opportunity to go to school, to learn, to meet to new people, to fall in love.

I'm thankful for a lot, I guess. And next year I'm sure I'll have even more to be thankful for.

NP: Atlas- Coldplay