Ten Years Time

Ten years ago today, it was a Tuesday, and my grandmother died of an brain aneurysm. I remember walking down the stairs to find my mother sobbing, and I instantly knew what was wrong. She had been in the hospital the night before, but at six years old being naive I knew not what an aneurysm was. It shook me. And ten years later the scariest part, is the thought of one day forgetting. Rest in Peace Nan.

Drugs and Dogs and Teens and Beer

Today I was stopped in the middle of a game of two ball soccer because the girls gym class wasn't allowed in the locker rooms while the drug dogs searched the locker room. The most upsetting thing to me was the fact that I didn't get to play soccer. I will not fault the school for what they do because contrary to popular belief they don't want to make every kid look like a bad guy. They want to check every student so that they find the few that are bad. The last thing the school board wants is for the school they represent to look terrible. If a student has drugs on school property they deserve to get caught and they should not be allowed back. Coach Palko said that this years student section was they best in over ten years, but he also talked to the team about how he cannot condone their actions when he knows half of them are coming to the game "blitzed out of their mind."  I can't blame him because while it is great to see the kids supporting us on Fridays it is sad to know that many of them would not be acting the way they were if alcohol was not present. There is a time and a place for everything, and the time and place to drink is college. Not high school. "But some parents don't care", say some students. And to that I say if they don't care that their kid is doing something that is blatently illegal, then they shouldn't care that their kid is viewed as a problem. Because that's what drinking is, especially in high school. A problem.

Time Flies...

Does time really fly by? Sometimes time seems to fly by, like looking back on the first three years of high school. The sad part is not remembering some things. But the greatest feeling is when one little thing reminds you of something from long ago. Usually the thoughts that I think back to are funny times where something had happened and it faded away until it was brought up some number of years later.

Is there enough time to enjoy life? Obviously and obviously not. In our lifetimes most of us will go through life changing experiences and we will also have times in life that we wish we could go back and change. Which brings up the talk of regret, and while life may be "short" it is ten times shorter when living with regret. How can someone take advantage of everything in front of them when they are caught turned around, dwelling on the past? They can't. And even in some case those who face the future miss some opportunities. Life gives us many things to be happy about, and life is too short to experience everything. Plain and simple. It doesn't matter if I live to be 120 years old I will miss out on something. The key though, is making the most of what you do have.
 Do we do too much? My answers is yes and no. I am a person involved in many extracurricular activities and sometimes I do wish I could just take a day off. But then on days off I get bored... So is it better to load up on activities and sometimes wish for a break or just chill and look for one small thing to do to fill time? I wish I had the answer to that question because it would really help me out. As far as activities go I hope my children try every sport possible because I want them to find the one that truly makes them happy, I also hope that when they find that sport that I can be 100% behind them. I know right now it is easy to say that I would, but in reality I don't know what I am going to do if my son doesn't like sports. But I will have to be okay with whatever he chooses to do.
Because in hindsight, life is approximately 85 years long, the first 3 of which are basically a waste (except for cute pictures to look back on yeas later.) Which leaves us with around 718,320 hours of life left to live out. Once you factor in what part is spent sleeping we find that we now have 448,950 hours left. School takes up at least 13,000 hours of that. Some large numbers to look at, but when I am old I hope to look back and say that I spent those four hundred some thousand hours as best I could.

Mo Money, Mo Problems

     Affect my social life? I would have to have a social life for it to be affected by a lack of money. I never go out to the movies or out to dinner, instead I hang out with my friends and we play with NERF guns pretending to be different people. I guess my imagination saves me from needing to spend money. Like Mr. Denk just said there is nothing like having a bon fire which is very cost efficient.
     School on the other hand is something I constantly worry about paying for. In my previous blog I ranted about paying two hundred grand for a college degree. After graduating the next worry is finding a stable job. It is unbelievable how many people working in retail jobs (i.e. cashier at Sears) have a college degree. That ties into my other blog where I talk about going to an accredited school. You need to come out of school KNOWING you have a job lined up. In four years I hope to be in that boat. For now though, I will survive off my minmum wage job and the constant worry that my credit card will be declined. Because in the end, money is not everything, but having to ask my mom for money... now that is everything. That is a topic that has already been discussed however, and even though I love my Mom and would love to write about her some more the period is over.

Relax

This past Thursday I experienced the most calming time in a long time. After school before football started I decided to avoid the hectic locker room and laid on the field and read The Great Gatsby. The only thing I heard was the wind and my own thoughts, something I rarely have time to listen to. I realize that I only laid there for around ten minutes, but in that ten minutes I was unbelievably calm, something that I haven't been in a long time. I just wish I had more moments like that in the hectic life I lead. Maybe someday when I settle down I can spend more than ten minutes alone with nothing else to worry about but me.